I wonder if they took 'paw' prints as evidence?

In Kenya, furious farmer Robert Njeru, 25, of Nakuru, took his dog to the police to have it arrested after the hapless hound ate £20 he'd left lying around the house. The officer who agreed to lock up the dog, was later sacked by embarrassed police chiefs.

If a CAT was your teacher......

I've just discovered a lovely post, written a few days ago now, on Wounded Bird's blog - entitled 'If a DOG was your teacher', it was sent in by Doug.

Now being more of a cat person myself, I simply had to look at the flip side of the coin and see it from a cat's point of view, so .....

If A Cat Was your Teacher, you'd learn things like;

* Worry about courage, cleanliness and furballs

* Christmas trees are meant to be climbed

* Avoid cleaning your private parts in public places

* Always make sure the lid is down on the toilet before jumping on it

* Look in to people as well as at them

* When depressed or confused, try lying on your back with your legs in the air; sometimes the world just looks better up-side down

* Run and away and hide the moment you hear any group of humans speculating about whether cats always land on their feet

* Surprise the entire household by unrolling all toilet paper at night

* When kneading someone's stomach, stop just short of drawing blood

AND, perhaps most importantly of all

* No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

Comment:- I must confess, there have been times in my life when, I'm pretty sure, the world would have looked better viewed up-side down - know what I mean? Of course you do.

I should like to point out here that some of these captions actually came from a cartoon book, long since misplaced. However, those highlighted in blue are the observations of either myself or a friend who also happens to adore cats.

Sybil leaves government...

Sybil the cat, who moved into Downing Street shortly after Prime Minister Gordon Brown took office two years ago, has died after a short illness.

Good Grief.

I don't know why but, today, I just can't seem to settle to do anything. I've read, checked to see whats happening on other blogs, replied to several text messages from the Mother-in-law who is obviously in a similar mood and been down to 'the farm' where I'm happy to report I now have 2 cows, 2 pigs, a sheep AND a chicken. Why, in the English language, is both the singular and plural of sheep, sheep? I remember having this conversation with some young people from Poland a few years ago and being unable to answer the question then.

Anyway, I digress. In a state of not finding anything else that inspired me sufficiently/needing to do something that was suitably mind numbing, I went to my old favourite - FaceBook - to hunt out some more of those 'quizzes' that are only to be found in this one place, to discover the following .....

1. My spirit animal guide is a WOLF
2. If I were a teletubbie (whatever happened to them? I can remember parents queueing for days to buy the soft toys), I'd be LALA (thank goodness for that - he, being bright yellow,was my favourite)
3. My celebrity boyfriend would be Johnny Depp (shame, I'd rather have John Barrowman) BUT, wait for it...
4. My celebrity husband would be Orlanda Bloom (rather him than Johnny Depp but I'd still rather have.... J.B.)
5. If I were an ice-cream, I'd be VANILLA FLAVOURED (typical, that's about as boring as it gets).

You really must give it a go, it's amazing the things you'll learn about yourself (she says, tongue firmly in cheek).

It's official - Christmas has begun.

Last Thursday, I did a post about the wonderful Innisfree Christmas Party that had taken place the previous evening, joking about Christmas in July. Not for one moment did I expect to be doing another post about Christmas so soon, but it's official - Christmas has begun.

Last night The Mother-In-Law phoned in a rather angry mood. It turns out she had been shopping in the 'toon' (Newcastle) and had called into a well known, British in origin, Home Stores (I'm trying not to name the shop here, is it permissible?). Anyway, she was annoyed because they had already started putting up their Christmas decorations. Having long since commented that shops now started advertising Christmas when the schools reopened in September after the summer holidays, it really annoyed her that they were starting even earlier. Mind you, what probably upset her even more was the fact that she will have to be buying Hubby's July birthday card in May - two family members have birthdays in November and she always buys their cards in September as the choice is rather less after then, thanks to all the shops stocking up on Christmas cards.

AND, whilst on the subject of birthday cards, amongst the many Hubby received was a great one from his parents.

In black and white, depicting a couple in 50's dress, walking arm-in-arm in the rain - the caption below states ....

'In an act of sweet revenge, he dragged her around a load of pubs...
.... only to go back to the very first one to buy his pint.'

Bought by his mam, it begs the question of just whose side she is on? And to make matters clear - I have NEVER dragged Hubby round the shops, only to go back to the very first one to buy anything.

Not very PC I know

but it is funny.

'Recent research has shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy'

Breaking Dawn.

Breaking Dawn By Stephenie Meyer.

When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?

To be irrevocably in love with a vampire is both fantasy and nightmare woven into a dangerously heightened reality for Bella Swan. Pulled in one direction by her intense passion for Edward Cullen, and in another by her profound connection to werewolf Jack Black, she has endured a tumultuous year of temptation, loss and strife to reach the ultimate turning point. Her imminent choice to either join the dark but seductive world of immortals or pursue a fully human life has become the thread from which the fate of two tribes hang.

Now that Bella has made her decision, a startling chain of unprecedented events is about to unfold with potentially devastating and unfathomable consequences. Just when the frayed strands of Bella's life - first discovered in Twilight, then scattered and torn in New Moon and Eclipse - seem ready to heal and knit together, could they be destroyed ... forever?

.... from the inner front cover.

At one page short of 700, BREAKING DAWN (the 4th and final book in the much acclaimed Twilight saga) is a mammoth read made a little more digestible by the fact it is broken down into three 'books'.

'BOOK' 1

'Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age the child is grown, and puts away childish things.
Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies' - Edna St. Vincent Millay

.... from an inner page.

Told from Bella's point of view, this section of the book is both plodding and overlong, but with an ending that is both shocking and unexpected. With Edward true to form, it is Bella who is almost unbearable - scheming, sulky, contrary and manipulative.

'BOOK' 2

'Life sucks and then you die'

.... from an inner page.

Narrated by Jacob, this section of the book is quite gory and, at times, almost stomach churning but also very thought provoking - dealing, amongst other issues, with love and the rights of the individual, it had me thinking strongly on my own beliefs.

Funny in places as is usual when Jacob is involved (the vision of a vampire and a werewolf playing 'paper, scissors, stone' will stay with me for a long while), the story was never-the-less slightly unbelievable with some of the individuals involved, acting seemingly out of character.

'BOOK' 3

'Personal affection is a luxury you can have only after all your enemies are eliminated. Until then, everyone you love is hostage, sapping your courage and corrupting your judgement - Orson Scott Card, 'Empire'

....from an inner page.

An old enemy, using recent events to seek revenge, forces the vampires to unite with the werewolves in order to protect all that they hold dear in, this, the conclusion of the saga - leading to a story of power struggles, friendship and loyalty.

Told, once again, by Bella, this section is extremely exciting and tense - an altogether fitting finale. Saved from a rehash of of previous events, it takes a totally different turn which is truly awe inspiring. A wonderful ending to what has been, on the whole, an exciting journey. I am, however, glad the author chose to end here on a high note rather then carry on for any further length of time as I believe the saga had come to it's natural end.

I'm now eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Twilight DVD and any subsequent films, though I do not expect them to live up to books (film adaptations very rarely do so), I will be particularly interested to see what they do with this book in order to make it suitable for it's target audience of teenagers.

Farmville.

I'm addicted to Farmville on FaceBook - strange seeing as I can't even remember signing up for it but there we are.

Book Blogger Alert.

Whilst at Sherrie's blog, Just Books, I a came across an interesting post all about BOOK BLOGGER APPRECIATION WEEK 2009 - the second annual event of it's kind, it takes place the 14th to 18th of September 2009.

Last year over 400 blogs came together to celebrate the art of book blogging and it's hoped it will be even bigger and better this year.

If you want to participate this year, please spread the word by posting about it on your blog and for further information, to register and/or vote for your favourite book blog (there are several categories) please click on the icon at the top of this page or follow on Twitter if you are so inclined.

It's only July, but......

..... MERRY CHRISTMAS.

I had a very pleasant, though surreal, evening yesterday - Christmas at the Innisfree, our local club where Hubby is treasurer.

It all began last year when Hubby, along with a group of others, took over the running of the club after the last committee had left it in, shall we say, a 'bit of a mess'. Now, come November the staff were asking about their Christmas party. ' Sorry,' replied Hubby (also lovingly known as Mr. Scrooge) 'We simply can't afford it but come to me in six months and if things are any better, you can have it then.'

Well, folks in Longbenton obviously have good memories for last night, thanks to the hard work of the staff, new committee and regulars, they had their Christmas party, complete with decorations, presents for the staff and, of course, Santa Claus.

Needless to say, a wonderful time was had by all, helped, no doubt, by the 'free bar', and everyone went home happy, if not quite believing they had just come from a Christmas party - in July!!

BLOOMing Romantic OR Just PLANE Silly?

Of all wedding customs, the bouquet toss is arguably the most controversial. Described on marthastewart.com as the 'suspenseful moment when the single woman gather behind the bride - to see who will be the next to get married' it is scarcely a favourite with feminists.

No one though, has argued it could prompt life-threatening injuries. Until now. Isidoro Pensieri, 44, was yesterday recovering at a hospital in Pisa from serious facial and head injuries and two broken legs, sustained when the ultra-light aircraft in which he was travelling crashed near a restaurant at which a wedding was being held.

Martha Stewart recommends that to 'get the blossom to the wallflowers', the bride should 'stand on a balcony, the top of a staircase or a chair.'

But at this particular wedding in the Tuscan countryside, it was decided to make what proved to be an imprudent break with tradition.

Pensieri was entrusted with the bouquet so that he could cast it dashingly into the outstretched arms of the unmarried female guests as the plane swooped by.

According to Italian news agency reports, however, the flowers disappeared into the tail rotor, causing an explosion in the motor and pitching the ultra-light into a dive. After just missing a hostel in which 50 young people were gathered, the air-craft plunged to earth in a wood.

The pilot, Luciano Nannelli, 61, escaped unhurt from the crash, which happened near the town of Suvereto, near Livorno.

Flying bouquets are a rarity: it is more common for birds to be sucked into the engines of aircraft. In January this year a US Airways flight from New York ditched into the Hudson River after a flock of geese caused engine failure. All on board survived.

.... Source: John Hooper, The Guardian - Thursday 16th July 2009.

While You Were Dreaming.

While You Were Dreaming By Lola Jaye.

Lena has always kept her two sisters Millie and Cara in check.

Beautiful but lazy Millie relies on her sister Lena for everything. She needs to pull herself together and get a job but is constantly distracted by the string of men in her life.

Cara runs a successful bar with her adoring boyfriend Ade. He can't wait to start a family but is Cara ready? Will she ever be?

But when Lena is involved in an accident, her sister's forget their own issues and rush to her side. As they desperately try to wake Lena from her deep sleep, they begin to learn things they never knew about themselves, and discover their much-loved sister has a few secrets in her closet.

.... From the back cover.

A fairly standard 'holiday' read which I'm sure will appeal to those who like their novels 'pink, fluffy' and sugar coated with slight undertones of Cinderella (well, there is a shoe, if not a glass slipper, involved) and Sleeping Beauty.

The, at times, far fetched plot was easy to follow - young woman falls downstairs and ends up in hospital which results in almost all of her family and friends becoming 'better' people, whilst the characters were, without exception, one dimensional and lacking in any depth.

The Wise Woman's Tale

The Wise Woman's Tale by Phillipa Bowers.

Kate Bowers is fourteen-years-old when she first experiences the strange gifts she has inherited from her grandmother's side of the family. She has a vivid waking dream, a memory of an earlier life centuries before in the small Somerset village of Oakey Vale when she was murdered by an angry mob who believed her to be a witch.

Her grandmother decides the time is right to reveal to Kate some family secrets, including the ancient cave which houses the family tomb. However, just as Kate is learning to develop her second sight, her further education with her grandmother is interrupted when her father insists she returns to London. He is determined that Kate forget her grandmother's teachings and get a job in order to help support their growing family. But nothing will keep Kate from her destiny: to take her grandmother's place as local wise woman and guardian of the mysterious cave.

.... from the back cover.

At just 232 pages this was a nice, easy 'holiday' read. The first in a series of historical novels about wise women, it was an enjoyable enough in it's own right, but I won't be going out of my way to obtain any further books.

The plot was average, very similar to others of it's genre but, on the whole, not as good whilst the characters were poorly written, monotonous and rather unbelievable. The only thing that really captured my imagination being the heading above each chapter which looked at a different herb and it's medicinal use - fascinating.

I'm Back ......

Just getting back into the swing of things after spending a few days in (not so sunny) Scarborough where Hubby and I visited my good friend/Hubby's favourite atheist and her other half who we haven't seen since their wedding last August. It's always good to see said friend as though we are very different, we are very close and have shared many a laugh as well as many a tear. And then, of course there was her other half who both Hubby and I were looking forward to getting to know - we had only met him at the wedding and, as is typical of such occasions, didn't get to spend much time with him.

Anyway, on Wednesday afternoon, after a good journey, for which our thanks go to the staff of East Coast Railways for their assistance with my wheelchair, we arrived at our destination which was clean enough, if not at all suitable for my needs in any other way, and in desperate need of some form of sound proofing - the people above us kept us awake two nights of our three night stay.

And so that evening, after a quick wash and change, it was off to the local theatre, The Stephen Joseph (a small but very friendly theatre with extremely helpful staff) to see 'How The Other Half Loves' - a very funny farce, written and directed by Alan Ayckbourn, where 'The action takes place in the living rooms of the Fosters and the Phillips over five days, in the autumn of 1969' but more of that on Hubby's blog which is at Conscientisation.

Thursday, we had a lazy morning before sauntering off to the local shopping centre to meet our friends for a meal and catch up which turned into quite a late night after a visit to a book shop and several of Scarborough's many pubs. (We did try to persuade Hubby to do karaoke but all in vain, he wasn't haven't it).

Friday morning, we woke bright (if only the same could be said of the weather) and early thanks to the people in the room above us who appeared to be moving furniture at four in the morning and, after waiting for a break in the weather, had a slow trip down to the sea front, (isn't it romantic when the sea is very rough and crashes against the rocks?) to purchase some rock for Father-in-law and ice cream for me.

I have talked on other people's blogs about this particular ice cream parlour which, 1950(ish) in design, I always visited on our annual holiday as a child some 25 or so years ago and hadn't been back to until Hubby and I went last year where, to my delight, I discovered the place hadn't changed one bit - the waitresses still wore bright yellow uniforms, the decor was exactly the same AND the ice cream was every bit as yummy.

This year, as is traditional, I had a banana split (I seem to remember breaking with tradition last year and having a knickerbockerglory instead) which, as well as being delicious, surely counts as at least one of my five a day portions of fruit.

And so a happy afternoon was passed until, after a wash and change, it was time to meet our friends again and sample some delicious local Whitby wholetail scampi along with several different types of whisky for Hubby - never have I seen such a vast collection as was had by this particular restaurant, there were bottles everywhere.

Saturday, after a much later night then was planned (Grief, how us women chatted), saw Hubby and I head back home to an even wetter Newcastle and our own bed, much refreshed after our all too short break.

The Paris Enigma.

The Paris Enigma By Pablo De Santis.

Paris World's Fair 1889.

Twelve of the world's greatest sleuths have gathered to discuss their most famous cases.

When one is found viciously murdered, the symposium becomes an elite task force dedicated to solving the outrage.

For a young apprentice detective, Sigmundo Salvatrio, this is the chance to realize his dream of working with the finest criminologists ever to practise. But as, one by one, more victims fall prey to the mysterious killer, the dream becomes a shocking nightmare.

.... from the back cover.

There were only two good things about this novel - the first being the cover with it's poster like art work and the second being when I finally came to the end, for as Arzaky, one of the characters said 'Don't worry. Both fables of just a few lines and newspaper serials that continue for months reach their end at some point' and so, thankfully, did this book.

THE PARIS ENIGMA, I'm afraid was one of those books that you read but, apart from the minimum of details, could not say what actually happened or why with any real accuracy. The plot was rambling and too drawn out whilst the characters were too many in numbers and totally lacking in depth - sheer determination to finish the story was the only thing that kept me reading till the end.

Which Book ....?

Hubby and I watched Inkheart, starring Brendan Fraser, on DVD yesterday and, whilst we both agreed it wasn't the best of films (a wonderful idea that, sadly, did not fill it's potential), it certainly got us thinking about which book character we would like to bring to life and which book we would like to find ourselves in.

I couldn't make up my mind about which character I'd like to bring to life but after much thought I decided that I'd quite like to find myself in Enid Blyton's ' The Folk Of The Faraway Tree.' Why? Apart from the fact it was one of my favourite childhood books, the characters always had such wonderful adventures where all came right in the end, plus I would love to meet the Saucepan Man.

Which book character would YOU like to bring to life and/or which book would YOU like to find yourself in?

Eclipse

Eclipse By Stephenie Meyer.

' Bella? '

Edward's soft voice came from behind me. He pulled me into his arms at once, and kissed me. His kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine - like he was afraid we had only so much time left to us.

As Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob - knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation approaching, Bella has one more decision to make: life or death. But which is which?

.... from the back cover.

' Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice. ' - Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

.... from an inner page.

Book three in the four part saga, ECLIPSE, in my humble opinion, is the best of the novels so far. Much more involved and with more action, the characters come into their own.

I particularly liked two chapters of the novel - both of which brought a tear to my eye. The first was entitled Legends and told the story of the last great Spirit Chief of the Quileutes, Taha Aki who ' eventually tried to kill his body to save the tribe. ' An inspired piece of story telling by the author, it made the character of Jacob become ever more alive.

The second was entitled Newborn - with every book in the saga telling the tale of how one of the vampires came to be a vampire, in Eclipse it's Jasper's story that is told . And what a moving and poignant story it is, in which we come to know this character a little better and get an insight into why he is the way he is.

After being a Little disappointed by New Moon (Book 2) in the series, I was glad that the author seemed to be back on track. Both plot and characters developed nicely and for the first time I could see this saga (and certainly any future film versions of it) being equally enjoyed by young men as well as young women. Somehow Harry Potter(ish) in nature, there is just something about the Twilight saga that is so appealing, it is no wonder that the books have become such a phenomenon.

FISH & CHIPS.

In China, keen angler Li Huiyan dug a 16m deep hole in the kitchen of his home in Chongqing after he discovered he lived above an underground river. He now climbs down it every day to haul in FISH, which he sells at £3.20 a time to local restaurants and shops.

Meanwhile .....

In Canada, police have been unable to trace a naked jogger who snatched a woman's bag of CHIPS while she was being served at a drive-in-takeaway in Langley, British Columbia. They say the case is proving difficult because neither the female customer nor the waitress serving her could offer any description of the man's face!

New Moon.

New Moon By Stephenie Meyer.

' Shoot,' I muttered when the paper sliced my finger, I pulled it out to examine the damage. A single drop of blood oozed from the tiny cut.

It all happened very quickly then.

' No!' Edward roared ... Dazed and disorientated, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm - into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous then Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realise their troubles may just be beginning ...

.... from the back cover.

'These violent delights, have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder
Which, as they kiss, consume.' - Romeo and Julie, Act II, Scene VI

.... from an inner page.

New Moon, Book two in the Twilight Series, sees the return of Bella, Charlie, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper as well as several of Twilight's lesser characters who turn out to be not what they first seemed.

The book, though still very readable, is a bit disappointing in that the plot is very similar to the first outing - so much so that the author, it could be argued, seems to be following a very rigid formula. However, the story line then takes a turn in a slightly different direction which grabs the attention somewhat before, sadly, seeming to fizzle out. The characters though continue to go from strength to strength and I particularly like the inclusion of Jacob and his friends who bring some wonderful, dark humor to the proceedings. Edward, meanwhile, I am beginning to dislike as his actions seem to be ever more controlling.

Much warmer in tone then Twilight, New Moon is a story of friendship, divided loyalties, broken promises and love, but, perhaps, most of all it is a study of mortality and what it is that makes us human.

Being Grandad.

Grief, I'm fast turning into a grumpy old woman. You know how they say that when you reach a certain age, you open your mouth to hear the words of your parents coming out - well! I've gone one better in that I'm beginning to sound like my grandad.

Having a 19 year old in the house is certainly trying my patience to the limit. I'm sure this generation will grow up with deformed spines (Why can't they sit in a chair, why must they lounge everywhere?) and fingers (All that texting they do, despite the fact they will be seeing s0-and-so in the next half hour or so). Hubby assures me it isn't only our 'house guest' that is like this but rather the vast amount of youngsters her age - AND this is supposed to make me feel better(?)

Anyway, another 'complaint' of mine is, to slightly misquote Oscar Wilde, 'They know the price of everything and the value of nothing' and that definitely seems to be the case if we are to believe an article that appeared in a newspaper this morning - all about students and the items they have left behind on vacating halls of residence/student accommodation, it's frightening reading.

The 10 most unusual items:

A six foot snake
A pole dancing pole
A life size skeleton
A pair of budgies
A giant white pet rabbit
A 1oft inflatable outdoor pool filled with water
Frozen chicken feet
A whip and a copy of the Karma Sutra
A scuba diving suit with air tank and flippers
A full size air hockey table.

Now, while the scuba diving suit with air tank and flippers was probably the most expensive and I can understand why anyone might be reluctant to take the pole dancing pole, Karma Sutra or, indeed, the whip home for all to see, it is the thought of anyone leaving an animal like that that really upsets me.

The 5 most common items:

ipods
Mobile phone chargers
Shoes
Toothbrushes
Text books.

Source: Sunday Sun.

Actually re-reading that list, I think I can safely add 'more money then sense' to my list of complaints. Were we ever so careless with our possessions? As I said I'm beginning to sound like my grandad.

A What?

No, I'd never heard of such a thing before butt (please excuse the pun) it's there, in black and white, for all to see - Sam Amos, as well as a psychic, is a Rumpologist. Yes, Sam can 'tell people's future by checking out their behinds.'

Source: Full House magazine.

Twilight

Twilight By Stephenie Meyer.

About three things I was absolutely positive.

First Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.

When Isabella Swan moves to the gloomy town of Forks and meets the mysterious, alluring Edward Cullen, her life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. With his porcelain skin, golden eyes, memorizing voice, and supernatural gifts, Edward is both irresistible and impenetrable. Up until now, he has managed to keep his true identity hidden, but Bella is determined to uncover his dark secret.

What Bella doesn't realize is that the closer she gets to him, the more she is putting herself and those around her at risk. And it might be too late to turn back ....

.... from the back cover.

' But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil,
thou shalt not eat of it:
for in the day that thou eatest thereof
thou shalt surely die. ' - Genesis 2:17

.... from an inner page.

Apart from reading Dracula a long, long time ago, Twilight is the first 'vampire' novel that I have read - and how the story has changed since then. It turns out that vampires needing to sleep in a coffin, being unable to go out in daylight and only being truly dead when someone puts a wooden stake through their heart are all just myths.

Basically a modern day romance combined with a bit of a thriller, Twilight, if at times, a little twee, is hypnotic, well paced, well written and surprising - just when you wondered where the story was going, a new development occurred. The characters, especially Bella, are extremely well observed - it took me right back to how I felt as the new girl at school and my first romance. Full of teenage angst, tenderness, loyalty and sexual tension, it is all about the human condition and what it is to be different. A thoroughly enjoyable read, I'm away to start New Moon, the second book in the series.

What's The Hurry?

In Romania, angry motorist Radu Becall is facing assault charges after getting out of his car and biting a pedestrian, Mihai Nicoara, because he was taking too long to cross a road.

There's that word again.

Last month I did one of those FaceBook 'things' which informed me of what my name meant (see June 23rd). Well , today, being at a loose end (again), I decided to see what my birthday month (February) said about me as well as how old I was mentally.

*Intelligent and clever. *Abstract thoughts. *Loves reality and abstract. *Changing personality. *Attractive, sexy. *Temperamental. *Quiet, shy and humble. *Honest and loyal. *Determined to reach goals. *Loves freedom. *Rebellious when restricted. *Loves aggressiveness. *Too sensitive and easily hurt. *Gets angry really easily but does not show it. *Dislikes unnecessary things. *Loves making friends but rarely shows it. *Daring and stubborn. *Ambitious. *Realising dreams and hopes. Sharp. *Loves entertainment and leisure. *Romantic on the inside, not outside. *Superstitious and ludicrous. *Spendthrift. *Tries to learn to show emotions.

(Aggressiveness - there's that word again. I could get really, really angry at that).

Now this is much more like it, when asked ' How old are you mentally? ' - the reply was:

40.* You are so calm and know heaps. Some people call you boring but when you want to you can be so much fun. You tend to be the one people go to for advice and you are the mother/father of the group. People love you, you 'parentiness'.

* Not too bad a guess, I'm actually 41.

Children Of Eve.

Children Of Eve By Deidre Purcell.

Five o' clock one April morning. The phone rings in Arabella Moraghan's cramped Dublin bedsitter. The call, from Arizona, is one she thought she'd never get: a message from the mother who abandoned her and her two siblings nearly forty years ago in Dublin's Botanic Gardens. They had thought Eve was dead; but she is far from dead. And she wants to see her children.

In a matter of hours, Arabella's on a plane with her sister Willow - younger, more successful, more brittle - while back in Dublin the search is on for their dropout, homeless brother, Rowan. The women are met at Phoenix Airport by Arabella's phone messenger. The enigmatic Dale Genscher seems to lead a double life outside Robina Meadows, the trailer park where he and a diverse group live alongside Eve.

Is it too late to be forgiven by her three children? That is the question only they can answer as they and their mother embark on an action-packed, emotional roller-coaster ride along with Dale and the motley of Robina Meadows. After it, everyone's life will have changed beyond recognition.

.... from the inner, front cover.

A day later, and I'm still not too sure what I thought about this book which started very slowly, seemed to gain some momentum and then fizzled out. ' Action-packed and an emotional roller-coaster ride '? In places, perhaps - but not as an overall description.

On the whole the characters were badly written, somehow lacking in passion, somewhat contrived and I don't know if it was because there were quite a lot of them but the author seemed to use as many stereotypes as was possible. Whilst the plot seemed to be full of inconsistencies and, even allowing for poetic licence, riddled with inaccuracies that didn't ring true. Also the language used was, at times, very baffling and had me wondering exactly what was meant - ' I turned myself inside out apologising for taking him all he way back to the airport so soon, but he batted me away until I copped myself on and got back into my shell ' is one such example.

All in all, a very interesting idea that could have explored so many issues and yet largely failed to do so - I was quite disappointed by Children Of Eve and yet, all that said, there was still something about the book that was enjoyable.

A joke from .....

Two monkeys are sharing a bath.

1st Monkey : " Oooh, Oooh, Oooooh "

2nd Monkey : " Alright then, I'll put some cold water in. "

Thanks Niece #2 (10) for that one.

Q : What do you get hanging from Trees?

A : Sore arms.

And I have to thank Moira (75) from St. Mary Magdalene's Tasty Tatty, Longbenton, for that one.