WHEN EWE GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO.

When you gotta go, you gotta go!

DOG DISQUALIFIED FOR SPENDING A PENNY. Five-year-old Libby was midway through a course that involved running through tunnels and up and down see-saws when nature called at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The black dog was putting on a show-stopping performance at the Crufts Dog Show at the Birmingham NEC Arena speedily negotiating the course before she paused for the call of nature and was then immediately disqualified. - Gaby Leslie, Yahoo News (12/03/2012) Even worse, the whole episode was caught on video.

Cute picture alert!!!!!!!!

THAT'S ONE BRAVE MOUSE. A cat owner in Surrey was shocked to discover her pet being confronted by a gutsy little mouse in her back garden. - Fred Attewill, The Metro (14/03/2012)

Would ewe believe it?

OPEN 'EWE'NIVERSITY? Burnt out business professionals are flocking to a course that teaches them how to be sheep dogs to relieve office stress.

The 'Raising the Baa' course can cost up to £2,000 and helps high-flying professionals bond with one another and develop their teamwork skills.

'This event helps groups of people, who work together on a paid or voluntary basis, to improve communication skills, increase confidence, enhance leadership qualities, be an inspiration to others - and have heaps of fun in the process,' Mr Farnsworth who runs the course explained. - The Metro (15/03/2012)

Did I really need to know this?

SEX-STARVED FRUIT FLIES TURN TO DRINK. Male fruit flies who have been rejected by females drink significantly more alcohol* than those who have mated freely, scientists say.

In an article in Science, researchers suggest that alcohol stimulates the flies' brains as a "reward" in a similar way to sexual conquest. - BBC News (15/03/2012) * Is it just me or are you know imagining alcoholic flies drinking from bottles of cider?

And finally, after the popular Tree-Rex featured in last weeks Media Monday post, I bring you two more 'spotted' images .....

ET(REE) SPOTTED IN TREE TRUNK.  - Story by Mark Molloy, Top photograph by James Douglas/SWNS.Com, The Metro (13/03/2012)

VISION OF JESUS FOUND ON WALL.  Yorkshire decorator, Sam Dalby, spotted this vision of of Jesus Christ whilst eating his sandwiches. - Rob Leigh, The Mirror (15/03/2012)





PS. As always I will endeavour to bring you the links (marked in bold capitals) to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.  

WHEN THE SUNDAY BECOMES THE MONDAY.

It's the stuff we don't say.

The pauses.

The squeeze of the arm.

The small hand finding the big one.

The half-hug.

Not many of us say 'it' to our Mums.

We dutifully phone them every week.

We remember their birthdays.

We care about them - but we don't actually tell them.

It's just something of a given.

A glue that holds the world together.

But today we come out with it.

We tell our Mum how good she is.

We say 'I love you' without putting on a comedy accent.

It's the day of crinkly petrol station flowers, and last minute phone calls.

Homemade cards, chocolates and luke-warm tea from six year olds.

It's the day we tell her that we care. 

That we know how much she's done for us.

And that she can finish our sentences - just this once.

But when this is all over.

When the Sunday becomes the Monday.

When the carnations droop and only coffee creams remain.

Our mums will still be there.

Waiting. Listening. Helping.

With hands that hold it all together.

Shouldn't every day be Mother's Day?

- Author Unknown.

ST PATRICK'S DAY HOWLERS.

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says "So, what's bothering you Mary my dear?"

To which she replies "Oh Father, I've got terrible news. Me husband passed away last night."

The priest says "Oh Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"

She says "That he did, Father....."

The priest says "What did he ask Mary?"

She says "He said, "Please Mary, put down that damn gun".

A scuffle started in a local pub one Friday night. Words were exchanged, then insults and finally blows. Bottles, glasses, people flew through the air and Casey ended up being hit in the face by a piece of glass which cut his nose off.

"Stick his nose back on and hold it with your hand," ordered McGinty "And we'll get him to hospital."

Onto the street they flew only to be greeted by the rain which was pelting down.

Quickly they bundled the injured man into the casualty department of the hospital.

"Will he live?" they enquired.

"Sorry, it's too late," replied the doctor, "He's a goner."

"Was it loss of blood?" asked Finbar.

"No, he drown . You put his nose on upside down," sighed the doctor.

PROPERTY.

(Strange that there is no exact image of the book cover I have available on- line, this is the nearest I can get.)

PROPERTY by VALERIE MARTIN.

America's deep South in the early nineteenth century: Manon Gaudet is unhappily married to the owner of a Louisiana sugar plantation. She misses her family and longs for the vibrant lifestyle of her native New Orleans, but most of all she longs to be free of her suffocating domestic situation. The tension revolves around Sarah, a slave girl given to Manon as a wedding present from her aunt, whose young son Walter is living proof of where Manon's husband's inclinations lie.
....... Outer back cover.


FIRST SENTENCE (Part 1*): It never ends.


MEMORABLE MOMENTS (Page 50): It was like looking into the inkwell.I could make out the shape of the oak, but only as texture, like black velvet against black silk.

A novel about slavery? Hmm, I wasn't too sure about this, wouldn't it be harrowing and dark and, well, depressing?


You'd think so wouldn't you and yet, on the whole, Property failed to move me as much as I expected. Maybes because of the matter of fact way in which it was told or maybes because the author didn't seem to delve too deeply into the issues, or could it be there was no 'unneccessary' words, no over usage of descriptions? (My Memorable Moment being one of the few exceptions). I don't know what it was but I found it difficult to fully connect with the characters on a emotional level.


In fact, never mind on an emotional level, I failed to connect with most of the characters on any kind of level ..... Walter being the exception. The son of Manon's white husband (do you know I can't  remember him ever being named) and black (though as the author distinguishes she is pale skinned) slave Sarah, Walter is born disabled, and seen as little better than an animal, he is treated accordingly which is actually what moved me the most as, in many ways, his story was even more harrowing than that of the other slaves.


The story of a unhappily married woman (Manon) who I found to be pitifully self-absorbed, her somewhat churlish husband, and Sarah, a slave  'given' to Manon on her wedding day, this is a book all about relationships, resentment, unrest and allegiances.


A difficult read but not for the reasons I expected, Property was one of those books that I found myself re-reading as I went along, convinced that I had missed something vital that would make the story meaningful.


* Another criticism being the lack of any true chapters - Ok so there were breaks in the narrative and the book was sectioned into four parts but, as most of you know, I do like my chapters.









READ AN EXTRACT courtesy of The Guardian newspaper.

TURNING ANGEL.

Several years ago Husband dearest and myself went on holiday to Spain with my (naughty) little sister and her then two young children and I can remember  niece #1 spent most of the journey looking out of the window at the sky in the hope of seeing an angel ........ a memory which provided perfect inspiration for this book which I read for the 

'Something You'd See in The Sky' category.

TURNING ANGEL by GREG ILES.

Rape and murder aren't new to the Deep South, but when the body of a popular high school girl is found dumped in the local river, the whole town of Natchez, Mississippi is shocked.

Penn Cage no longer practises  law, but when his best friend Drew is accused of the murder and asks for help, Penn must face the hardest questions of his life:

Can he defend Drew against the town, the police and overwhelming evidence? 

Or could it be true that his friend is a brutal killer who has deceived Penn and everyone else?

...... outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Prologue): The rain kept falling, swelling the creek until it lifted the girl into its muddy flood.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 130): The cell phones of Mia and her friends are like native drums on a Pacific island Every significant event is instantly known by the tribe.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: No, this one I'll be passing on.

The body of a popular high school girl? Girl? The girl in question (Kate) may well be a few weeks short of her 18th birthday but she, along with just about every other 'girl' in the book, certainly isn't like the girl I was or indeed like any of the girls I knew. Worryingly sexually experienced, at times the author went into a few too many details for my comfort.

 Though mainly about the rape and murder of Kate and the subsequent arrest of Drew, side stories also looked at the issue of drugs and the power struggles, mainly racial, within a small community. All very interesting, I just couldn't help but think that the author had perhaps 'bitten off a bit more than he could chew' and turned what could have been two books into one.

Character wise? I'm not so naive as to think such people don't exist and though I did find them believable I have to admit that I did find the psychological make-up of most of the characters very difficult to understand, the motives behind their behaviour often being beyond me.


My only real criticism being the fact that, almost without exception, the men of this novel came out looking badly ...... either adulterous, racist or just plain violent (all three in some cases), a high proportion of them seemed to be overly aware of the sexual appeal of the young girls in their trust. And yet that said I felt they were well penned, I even managed to feel genuine empathy for several of the less savoury characters which, I feel, is a sign of a book well written.

Overall I am glad that I read this, the legal jargon was fascinating (completely different to our own here in England), I just could have done with less of the sexually explicit stuff.

DISTANT SUNS.

A book review by Husband dearest ............

DISTANT SUNS by Patricia Smith.

Available from Amazon on Kindle.

Two astronomers discover a cloud of hydrogen, the size of the asteroid belt, approaching the Solar System and realize it is on a collision course with Earth. 

At a high-ranking meeting to discuss their findings they are sworn to secrecy. It isn’t long though, before their young, but brilliant, apprentice, Lauren, discovers the impending catastrophe. As the true horror of Earth’s future eventually becomes apparent, she must make a decision which will turn her world upside down... 

A runaway global warming crisis revolves around more horrific problems which emerge due to the birth of another sun in our Solar System. 

Distant Suns is a heart-wrenching, apocalyptic, thriller about love, self-sacrifice and the human ability to adapt and survive in the face of impending extinction.

If you have an interest in astronomy, like drama with a good dash of excitement and enjoy science fiction, which takes place in the present, but is not too deeply immersed in the genre – then this is the novel for you. 

....... Product description, Amazon.

 Reading a worthwhile prolepsis on global warming is a slightly chilling prospect, particularly when the outcomes are described so neatly and brought forward from a distant, possibly, maybe, into the foreseeable next four years.

A stellar explosion, physically far removed from earth, leads to a chain of events within our own solar system that strips the earth of its atmosphere in more rapid fashion that any contrivance of human beings is achieving at the moment. The story unfolds through the four years in a series of vignettes from around the world. From the astronomers who first make the observations, to the children, scientists and engineers, who embody the future hope of humanity, we see and feel the emotional, political and tangible responses of beings that experience not only personal tragedy but the possible extinction of their species.

I enjoyed reading both the dialogue rich scenes of the characters struggling with a now imminent uncertainty, interspersed with the science scenes of astral happenings and the unfolding effects of a planet being slowly stripped of the atmosphere that gave it life. The science is wholly credible and the characters express beautifully the sadness, joy and hope which lies in the gaps in between those extremes of emotion as the hope that lies in the distances between the stars.




A first for Pen and Paper, I'm hoping to have an author interview with Patricia in the near future. Any questions you have for her will be gratefully accepted.

ANY OLD EXCUSE TO CELEBRATE.

Today being Tuesday the 13th March 2012 it's only 2 days to the ma-in-law's birthday and 5 days to Mothering Sunday but that's not what I'm celebrating ........ no, today I'm celebrating, wait for it ...............






Sick of his ears freezing whilst skating on a frozen pond, schoolboy, Chester Greenwood of Maine, USA, invented the very first par of ear muffs at the tender age of 15.


Patented on the the 13th of March 1877 when he was 18, Chester went on to open a successful factory and, after his death in 1937, was named as one of America's top 50 inventors and honoured with his own 'day', Chester Greenwood Day, which is celebrated in Maine every 6th of December.



PS. Want to make a pair of your very own Strawberry ear muffs? Click HERE  to visit Cut Out + Keep for instructions.