LOVE LINDISFARNE.

 You may remember my saying who much I was looking forward to reading this book so its with great delight I'd bring you my thoughts on ...

LOVE LINDISFARNE by KIMBERELEY ADAMS.

LOVE LINDISFARNE …Take a Christmas trip to magical Northumberland and find love amongst the stars in this feel-good novel, which will transport you to iconic Holy Island where dreams really can come true!

Dumped at the office Christmas party, Ellie is about to vent her spleen on social media when a photo of a cute little dog advertising a charity catches her eye. Her world suddenly changes dramatically when she is offered a month’s stay in Northumberland to help look after rescue animals.

Ellie isn’t too sure where Northumberland is, but accepts, eager to start a new life away from London. Her destination is Lindisfarne, and her arrival on the small island in the North Sea is terrifying, fearing for her life on the causeway as the tide comes crashing in.

Ellie finds herself living in a hilltop castle, and far from the cats and dogs she expected she would be looking after, she is faced with all kinds of furry and feathery animals - and she doesn’t have a clue about any of them!

Welcomed to island life by the warm-hearted residents, she quickly embraces living in this special place, and from the moment she spots the mesmerising Zen with the gorgeous coffee bean eyes, her plans to stay single and mingle begin to fade fast.

Thanks to a severe storm, Lindisfarne is cut off from the mainland, and the islanders work together to salvage the planned Christmas events. Ellie is kept so busy that she hasn’t much time to think about her future when her time on the island ends.

Will the universe give Ellie its blessing? Will she find her happy ever after on the enchanting island of Lindisfarne? If it’s in the stars, then it’s in the stars ...

Having spent many a wonderful time on 'Holy Island' aka Lindisfarne {though thankfully never having arrived anywhere near as dramatically as two of the characters} I cannot tell you what a delight it was to be back there where Ellie, Zen and so many other memorable characters, both two legged and four, awaited me with a welcome so typical of the region.

A book that my late nana would describe as being able to warm the cockles of your heart {for those not familiar with the term, to give someone warm and happy feelings}, Love Lindisfarne is an engaging mix of island life, drama, comedy, romance ... and cute animals; I mustn't forget the cute animals given that one of the sweetest romances {to my mind anyway} was not as you might have expected but rather that of love-torn donkeys, Wonky and Wilma.

Wonky continued to bray and Wilma ever so slightly began to lift her head. She looked at Wonky in much the same way I looked at Zen, and then whinnied softly towards us.

- pg 262

Definitely one of my favourite reads of 20223, perfect for those wintery days when you just want to escape into a book that delights. A Northumberlander herself, author Kimberley Adams obviously has a love of Northumberland and {my home town} the not too far away Newcastle which shows in both the charmingly painted descriptions of  Lindisfarne, an island as bewitchingly beautiful as it is potentially treacherous, and the warm humour with which she writes, bringing to life a place and characters that you won't want to leave behind.  

Love Lindisfarne is to be released 5th of October 2023 though digital copies are available to pre-order now with paper editions to follow soon.

Kim thinks herself lucky to live in Northumberland and is passionate about the area. She usually sets her work in the northeast, and no matter how hard she tries to change location, it keeps returning like a homing pigeon flying back to its cree!

Kim wrote her first published work on an ancient thing called a typewriter, but at least it was electric, when she was a teenager writing happy ever after stories for teen magazines. Then as a poor student she progressed to writing short stories for women which didn’t always have a happy ending (as we all well know!) Life and work then got in the way until the last few years, when Kim found a re-ignited love for writing, and this time from a modern invention called a laptop.

Kim was shortlisted for the Comedy Women in Print Prize Short Story Competition 2023, and as a result you can find her in another book called The Book of Witty Women (Published by Farrago Sept 23). Her story, Go Your Own Way, is about a Newcastle nana called Mary and her granddaughter Donna, who find themselves in a tricky situation organising nana’s funeral. Kim starts off trying to write something all literary and serious, but by page two it usually descends into comedy – it’s the famous Geordie humour coming out and she wouldn’t change a thing, even if she could!

Social Media Sites ... ~ Facebook {Love Lindisfarne page} ~ 

With thanks to Kimberley for supplying me with an Advanced Readers Copy {ARC} 

Agree or disagree with me, all opinions are my own. No financial compensation was asked for nor given. Threats of violence towards my favourite teddy bear went unheeded as did promises of chocolate.

Like my reviews and/or are an author, publisher etc who has a book you'd like me to review? Please get in touch, details can be found via my Review Policy. Likewise, lets share the bookish love; if you are a fellow bookworm/blogger please leave a comment and/or follow Pen and Paper on Google Friend Connect via the box on the right, I'll be more than happy to return your visit/follow your blog.

COMING SOON ... LOVE LINDISFARNE.

 It's always a joy to read a book set in a place you are familiar with. Doubly so when its a place you love as much as I love this place. So it's with much pleasure I bring you this novel set on Lindisfarne {or Holy Island as its known to many} the Ebook of which is available to order now with the PB following.

Dumped at the office Christmas party, Ellie is about to vent her spleen on social media when a photo of a cute little dog advertising a charity catches her eye. Her world suddenly changes dramatically when she is offered a month’s stay in Northumberland to help look after rescue animals.

Ellie isn’t too sure where Northumberland is, but accepts, eager to start a new life away from London. Her destination is Lindisfarne, and her arrival on the small island in the North Sea is terrifying, fearing for her life on the causeway as the tide comes crashing in.

Ellie finds herself living in a hilltop castle, and far from the cats and dogs she expected she would be looking after, she is faced with all kinds of furry and feathery animals - and she doesn’t have a clue about any of them!

Welcomed to island life by the warm-hearted residents, she quickly embraces living in this special place, and from the moment she spots the mesmerising Zen with the gorgeous coffee bean eyes, her plans to stay single and mingle begin to fade fast.

Thanks to a severe storm, Lindisfarne is cut off from the mainland, and the islanders work together to salvage the planned Christmas events. Ellie is kept so busy that she hasn’t much time to think about her future when her time on the island ends.

Will the universe give Ellie its blessing? Will she find her happy ever after on the enchanting island of Lindisfarne? If it’s in the stars, then it’s in the stars…

Written by an author based in Northumberland, the gorgeous cover designed by north east artist Sarah Faroogi, I'm so excited by Kimberley Adams' Love Lindisfarne which is next on my TBR mountain.

An author or publisher etc who has a book you'd like me to review? Please get in touch, details can be found on my Review Policy. 

Likewise, lets share the bookish love; if you are a fellow bookworm/blogger please leave a comment and/or follow Pen and Paper on Google Friend Connect via the box on the right, I'll be more than happy to return your visit/follow your blog.

WWW: ON THE 'FUDDLESKELLY BULLOCK WALLOPER WITH THE ORLY GORLIES '

WWW OR for those in the know Wondrous Words Wednesday is a meme hosted by Kathy over at BermudaOnion's Weblog the aim of which is to encourage us to share, well, Wondrous Words on   .... (yeah!, you guessed) ... a Wednesday.

Participated in by several of my blogger buddies, Suko and Yvonne included. Whilst, not a regular contributor, when I do contribute its generally a word ... or four. However this Wednesday I'm bringing you what could potentially be 84 Wondrous Words.

Created by two artists who collated and researched the words, the Lost Dialects exhibition (running from the 1st of February through to the 15th of September you can find out more here) captures a language that is in danger of being lost forever allowing visitors to take a rubbing of their favourite Geordie words and vote on whether they want to ‘use’ or ‘lose’ them'.

Its interesting to note some spellings varied enormously, suggesting the words were spoken more than they were written, that as the Head of Culture at the venue where the exhibition is being held said... 

“ ... it is about capturing a language that is in danger of being lost forever.

"Increasingly we communicate via technology and spellcheckers don’t recognise dialect. So, if you type the word ‘clarty’, (dirty) it will autocorrect it to clarity, for example. This will make it harder for written dialect words to survive, which is why this project is more than just a trip down memory lane – it is a record of our regional identity.”

10 of the oddest words to come up ...

• Corrie fisted - left-handed
• Fuddleskelly - untidy in appearance
• Caggle - to lean back on a chair
• Spiflicate - to smack someone who’s in trouble
• Tranklements - ornaments
• Fuggie crack - a smack on the back of the head after a haircut at the barber’s

• Bullock walloper - a man who drives cows to market 
• Dilk - bow and arrow
• Rile - to lean back on two legs of a chair
• Soogie - to enjoy a long, hot bubble bath

 I've not come across any of these before though, oh my goodness, as a teaching assistant I've been injured many a time by sprouters determined to rile despite being told off for doing so.


10 of the 'nicest' words ...

• Fubsy - short or squat
• Sprouters - young children
• Giddy kipper - a bit silly
• Plarpy - dough-like
• Proggles - stinging nettles
• Bubble - to cry
• Orly gorlies - the giggles
• Tappy lappy - walking slowly
• Gruns - tea leaves
• Scramptions - extra batter bits with your chips

'Bubble' was commonly used by my grandparents and whilst I have heard the word 'giddy' used to describe someone who is a bit silly; a bit dizzy I've not come across 'giddy kipper'. As for 'scramptions'? Hmm! A case in point RE the spelling of words. I'm not sure how this is in fact spelt but to spell it phonetically, I, my family and my friends knew the extra batter you asked for with your chips as 'scranchings'. 

For 64 more Wondrous (slang) Words (from the north east of England) this Wednesday click here.

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON.

A book without an ISBN? Its the first time I've come across this and had wondered why any other author would choose not to include one when its needed if you plan to sell your book in most bookstores or through online retailers like Amazon. As it is the book is available online at www.grieve-stationers.co.uk or at Slightly Foxed Bookshop, Berwick Upon Tweed.

A local author Mr T and I came across at a recent Craft Fair. The first one to be held at this venue, it was held on the day of Harry's wedding to Meghan AND the FA Cup final which as it turns out was a gloriously hot day ... perfect for a wedding, not so good for an author sitting in a hall for four hours solid.

Anyway, today I give you a review of a book which, for want of an ISBN, couldn't be included as one of the books read for my 2018 GoodReads challenge, today I give you ...


LIKE FATHER LIKE SON by DOROTHY WEBSTER BECK.

Taynee Smail is brought up in a Georgian town house in a small Northumberland town in the 1950's. In her teens she falls for the ruggedly handsome Ray Egan, who her friends and family tell her is no good. After marrying him, his true colours show and Taynee's life goes on a downward spiral, as he turns into the drunken bully she was warned about. Finally, escaping his clutches, Taynee returns to live at the family home where she turns into a bit of a recluse.

Getting back into the world of the living she eventually accepts a date with Jackson Macadem, a builder working in the vicinity. Taynee thinks she has found the man of her dreams, until he drops the bombshell, that he's married with a handicapped son. Finding herself pregnant with Jackson's baby and not wanting Jackson to abandon one family for another she decides to run away to the city without telling him, where she finds a job as a housekeeper for a lovely old lady.

This story is about the trials and tribulations that Taynee faces bringing her child into the world as a single parent, without the support of the man she loves - who knows where her journey will take her.

- Back Cover Blurb (Contains some major spoilers, scroll over to hi-light text if you so wish. TT)

Taynee was born in a small town in Northumberland in the 1950's, there were five children in the famioy, two boys Billy and John and three girls Lucy, Tammy and Taynee. 

- First Sentence (As above this too contains spoilers)

That could be the answer. Telling no one, she arranged for a day off work to go to Newcastle for the interview. When she arrived she was delighted to see the beautiful large old house, in leafy Jesmond.

- Memorable Moment, Page 90

SOURCE ... Bought directly from the author.

READ FOR A CHALLENGE? ... No, see above.

MY THOUGHTS ... Where to begin?

As always, conscience that this is somebody's baby; that someone will have poured blood, sweat and tears in order to realise their dreams of seeing their words in print, I can only hope that my (hopefully) constructive criticism is taken in the spirit in which it is meant.

In need of a good editor (or even a good team of BETA readers).

Before I'd even opened the book, bar the padding, the story was essentially laid bare right there on the back cover. Then, once I began reading, there were all those little niggling typing error/spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. And, of course, there's the matter of the book having no ISBN number. Surely things any editor worth their salt would have advised on????

On a positive note, yes, as always it was lovely to see familiar places featured in a novel and the author did have a nice style if you happen to like a conversational style of writing ... in fact it had crossed my mind that, read by someone with the right regional accent, this would perhaps make a better audio book than it did a paperback ... Its just that, a story I'd read countless times before; the characters easily confused with characters I'd come across in so many other novels of this type, it all felt, well, a bit jaded.

THREE FOR A GIRL, FOUR FOR A BOY ... OR IS IT?

Hmm! Reading Joanne Harris' wonderful A Pocketful Of Crows (see my review here) I came across the lyrics to the 'Magpie' rhyme.

You know the one which goes ...

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

(I forget the rest)

Wellll, seems I may have been getting it wrong all this time.

Considered an ill omen in many cultures (nothing to do with my being terrified of birds, that's a whole other post). In the afore mentioned A Pocketful Of Crows, Joanne Harris has it as ...

One for anger,

Two for mirth

Three for a wedding,

Four for a birth.

Five for rich,

Six for poor,

Seven for a witch:

I can tell you no more

- 16th Century

Whilst research leads me to believe that  ....

• First recorded in the seventeen hundreds, the rhyme went ...

One for sorrow,

Two for mirth,

Three for a funeral,

And four for birth

- John Brand's Observations on Popular Antiquities

(Lincolnshire 1780) 

• Until extended some time later it went ...

One for sorrow,

Two for mirth

Three for a funeral,

Four for birth,

Five for heaven,

Six for hell,

Seven for the devil, his own self

- Michael Aislabie Denham's Proverbs and Popular Saying of the Seasons

(London 1846)

• The 'modern' version (and the one I now remember my nana telling me) having it as ...

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret,

Never to be told.

Eight for a wish,

Nine for a kiss,

Ten for a bird,

You must not miss

A rhyme most of my generation here in England grew up knowing. Whilst many European countries have their own folklore featuring magpies (which by the way, the colours of the black and white home strip giving Newcastle United FC the nick-name of The Magpies) I'm led to believe they are far less common in other countries, do you know of this rhyme or indeed any other legends surrounding this member of the crow family?

MOVIE OF MY LIFE TAG.

Having read this, the Movie Of My Life tag, on Tasha's The Happy Larkspur blog I simply had to join in the fun ...

• Who would play you in the movie of your life, and why? Hmm, my first thoughts were not who I'd like to play me but who I wouldn't. Nothing to do with her acting skills, I just don't like Melissa McCarthy's tendency of playing the fat chic who is the butt of just about every fat joke known to mankind.
• Would would play your significant other? Now this question required no thought whatsoever. Who else but .... John Barrowman?

What genre of movie would it be? Well as I'm particularly fond of John Barrowman in his persona of Dr Who's/Torchwood's Captain Jack (pictured left) so how about a sci-fi come post-apocalyptic movie?

• What would the movie be called? Ooh, now there's a question and one I'll have to give some more thought to. Hmm! How about ... Gifted Children Of Fortune in reference to the belief that the rhyme ring-a-ring-a-roses (believed to be about plague) is in fact based on a Pagan myth which cites "Gifted children of fortune have the power to laugh roses, as Treyja wept gold."

What would be the opening song at the start of the movie? I think I'll go with Fear No Evil as sung by Jimmy Nail, a multi-talented Newcastle born and bred actor and singer/songwriter who I admire greatly.

Now for who to tag?

Knowing how much they also love movies I'm going with Kelly@ Kelly's Thoughts & Ramblings along with LL Cool Joe @ Joey's Pad but please feel free to join in should you wish, I'd love to know about the movie of your life.

The last post done before my recent illness. I shall be back with reviews done after my illness, including a review of Little Lord Fauntleroy, soon. TT

CHRISTMAS IN NEWCASTLE.

Dear Kelly and fellow members of the Arkansas Book Club, 

I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to be 'joining' you (albeit as I'm tucked up in bed here in the UK) as you enjoy your Christmas meeting.

Asked to share a Christmas memory, I've racked my brain.

Should I share the Christmas mornings of my childhood when, after opening presents with my parents and (naughty) little sister, we'd walk the short distance to my grandparents home where we'd have a breakfast of tinned hot dogs in buns eaten watching an episode of Flash Gordon before opening yet more presents?

Should I explain the tradition of pantomime?

Should I share some of my favourite Christmas reading?

Ah, I know.

A big part of my childhood, for me Christmas began with Fenwick's Christmas window which has featured everything from Father Christmas to this years Beatrix Potter theme by way of the notorious window featuring little green men.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas. Enjoy a cookie for me as you share your Christmas stories.

A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE: JESMOND OLD CEMETRY.

A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE: JESMOND OLD CEMETRY BY ALAN MORGAN.

BACK COVER BLURB: A Fine and Private Place: Jesmond Old Cemetery tells the remarkable story of Newcastle's own necropolis since its opening in 1836. This 'Highgate of the North' contains a wealth of social history. 

From merchants to murder victims, from philanthropists to fever fatalities, Alan Morgan also describes over 100 of the famous - and not so famous - who lie in Jesmond Old Cemetery. John Dobson, the founder of Fenwick's, Bainbridge's, Malings, the Hancock Museum, and many others who helped shape the city we know today, found their last resting place here.

The haunting beauty of the cemetery, and some extraordinary examples of the monumental mason's art, are celebrated in fine photography.

FIRST SENTENCE {DUST TO DUST: AN INTRODUCTION TO JESMOND OLD CEMETRY}: Death comes to us all, and each human society commemorates the dead in its own way.

MEMORABLE MOMENT {Page 8}: These family vaults were to be brick-lined with stone shelves supported on corbels to carry the lead-lined coffins. They could be as deep as six metres and were popular because coffins survived longer when not in contact with the soil.

SOURCE: A library book.

MY THOUGHTS: A book doubtlessly not to everyone's taste ... but then, each to their own, which book is? However with chapters headed 'Rites and Rituals', 'The Cemetery Plan', 'The North West Cemetery', 'The South West Cemetery' and 'The East Cemetery' to social history buffs (and/or those like myself with a fascination for graveyards and the history to be found therein) this is nothing short of a treat.

Written and laid out (no pun intended) in such a way as to be highly readable. Far from being a dull read this is full of fascinating information about the famous, the infamous and the not-so-infamous inhabitants of the cemetery since its opening in the 1836. But more than that, a book that should be of wider appeal than to just those of the locality, Jesomond Old Cemetery offers a wonderful insight into architecture over the years centuries.

Further reading and to view some of the graves within the cemetery please click here to view the Friends of Jesmond Cemetery website.

NATIONAL GEORDIE DAY.

Its the 16th of July, which can only mean one thing.

• Yes, its the 197th day (the 198th day this being a leap year) according to the Gregorian calendar
• Yes, all of these historical events happened July 16th
• Yes, its only four days to Mr T's birthday

.... but that's not it. 

Today is ....

< NATIONAL GEORDIE DAY >

And to celebrate I'm not only going to be sharing these photographs of Newcastle at night but also the below photographs as snapped by Mr T.

< Approaching Mr T's work place >

 - November 2015

< Jesmond Dene >

- NewYear's Day, 2016

< St Mary's Chapel, Jesmond Dene >

- New Year's Day, 2016

< Newcastle Quayside (top), The Barrage as the Ouseburn meets the Tyne (bottom left), Where the Ouseburn meets the Tyne (bottom right) > 

- New Year's Day, 2016.

An finally, hows this fre a geordie accent?

Ah divvent knaa weor they foond this actor but he's why-aye ne Geordie.

Which according to this English To Geordie Translator translates as ...

And finally, how is this for a Geordie accent?

I don't know where they found this actor but he's certainly no Geordie.

A MEDIA MONDAY 'I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO APPLAUD OR NOT' SPECIAL.

Welcome to the first Media Monday of 2016. Please note whilst I endeavour to keep these posts family friendly some of the articles featured do have links to articles of a more adult nature. TT

Let's hear it for the ...

• Clown scared of ..... clowns.

• Hirsuite man who, having sculpted his somewhat hairy back into various designs, has created a 2016 calendar.

• Half million people who tuned into Drummond Puddle Watch to watch Newcastle (my home for those who don't know) residents trying to cross a giant puddle.

• Entrepreneurial fans who have decided to cash in on the above Drummond Puddle's unlikely stardom by selling a bottle of the murky water on eBay. The highest bid (as of Thursday the 7th of January) at more than £60,000 ($ 87,394.88).

• Having been stacked at an awkward angle on the supermarket shelves, the crisps that appear to have a rude name.

• Football supporter who named his daughter Lanesra, only for two years later his wife to discover it was the name of his favourite team (Arsenal) spelt backwards.

• Mathematicians from Liverpool university who reveal the perfect way to slice a pizza using the 'monohedral disc tiling' method. 

FROM WOMEN WHO PREFER SWEATY ARMPITS TO THE TOOTH FAIRY WITH £200 TO SPARE ....

Please note whilst I endeavour to keep Monday Media family friendly some of the articles featured do have links to articles of a more adult nature. TT

Hmm! It might sound like the most unlikely of dating tips BUT ...
Scottish scientists claim women have evolved to prefer the type of smell that eating garlic produces in armpit sweat to the smell of aftershave.

I don't know about sinister, I think this rather a nice idea.

A room for rent in London. All inclusive, only £1 a month? The 'sinister' twist? You have to be a single woman and sleep in the same room as someone who has a fear of being alone.

Bottom of the league and yet still more than the 10p I used to get.

Research by, you guessed, a dental practice has revealed a table showing that one in ten children received £10.00 (approximately $15.12) per tooth from the tooth fairy - that's £200.00 (approx. $302.40) for a full set of milk teeth - with children in London receiving on average £2.50 (approx. $3.78) per tooth and those in Newcastle (my home town) £1.00 (approx. $1.51).

THE FOURTH LAD.

THE FOURTH LAD by SYDNEY CARR.

(An abridged) BACK COVER BLURB: My memoirs of my first twenty years provide an insight into Northeast, Post-War life in hilarious and painful detail. The fourth lad of eleven children raised by a chauvinistic father and self-obsessed, vindictive mother, I was initially raised in Pont Street, considered at the time to be one of the toughest but friendliest streets in Ashington. Badly burnt, almost drowned, battered and bruised, I had to learn quickly how to survive my environment and my mother. After seven eventful years, we move to the Fifth Row, another wild but friendly street where my growing pains continue on into my time as a Pit Lad and finally, a faltering soldier.

FIRST SENTENCE {Part 1 - Pont Street: 1 - A Painful Beginning}: Completely unaware that I was doing my utmost to drown out his voice, Winston Churchill growled triumphantly from within the wooden boxed radio standing on the sideboard in the kitchen of our gloomy miners' terraced house.

MEMORABLE MOMENT {Page 62}: 'Trust ye to say something stupid,' she growled, 'how the bloody hell could he hit himself on the back of his heed with an axe ye simple bugger, eh?

SOURCE: A GoodReads win.

MY THOUGHTS: One of eleven, from his Ashington childhood (by far my favourite portion of the book) in one of the 'toughest but friendliest streets in one of the toughest towns of the North East' The Fourth Lad chronicles a childhood (by far my favourite part of the book) that, yes, harsh in so many ways is nevertheless filled with a certain innocent carefreeness that few (if indeed any) of today's children will ever experience through to his time as a soldier via time 'doon the pit' in an extraordinary book written by an 'ordinary' man.

As far as memoirs go one of my favourites of 2015. Whilst not particularly well written and in my opinion a book that could have benefited from a good editing nevertheless a natural story teller Sydney Carr's The Fourth Lad is a real page turner. 

A nostalgic read that will no doubt take some readers back in time. Both funny and sad, whilst the happenings make for compelling enough reading, as is very often the case with this genre it is the characters themselves who truly make the book. Characters such as the larger than life Ma Carr (a woman we'd describe as 'as rough as a badger's a**e' who despite her seemingly cruelty was one of my favourites) who give a great cultural insight into many of the women of this time and place.

Whilst I believe this will be a huge hit amongst 'the locals' I should think it holds just as much appeal to those with an interest in social history or indeed those who simply enjoy a good yarn. Be warned though there are some colloquialisms used that may well baffle though this is aided somewhat by a dictionary at the back of the book.

The first book of three read for this Read-A-Thon. Reviews of Cranky, Beautiful Faith: For Irregular (And Regular) People by Nadia Bolz-Weber and Demons Not Included by Cheyenne McCray are to follow.

C IS FOR CAT BURGLAR AND INVADING CRUSTACEANS.

Please note whilst I endeavour to keep Media Monday family friendly some of the articles featured do have links to articles of a more adult nature. TT

A cat named 'Kleptokitty' who has developed a habit of stealing everything from my Little Pony toys to underwear and, even, marijuana before bringing it home .. to his police officer owner.

Hmm, puts me in mind of Little Kitty The Cat Burglar. TT

Bemused passengers looked on as tens of crustaceans invaded the Tyne & Wear Metro where, crawling along the platform, they attempted to catch a train back to the coast.

Bee experts at the University of Sussex have discovered that for one in eight bees the prospect of a hard day flitting from flower to flower was too much. Instead of which they simply flew to nearby nests and pilfered the nectar and pollen.

I've come across many articles featuring thieves that were hardly the 'fizziest drinks in the fridge' but this would-be bank robber surely 'takes the biscuit' ...

A sixty-one year old bank robber walked into a bank in Kent where he asked the cashier to transfer the money in to his own account before (and this is what really made me laugh) he fled to a second bank 400ft away which he also tried to hold up, the cashier in the first bank having managed to hit the panic button.

A Toy Story fanatic from Devon who officially changed his name to Buzz Lightyear has been forced to revert to his original given name after the DVLA (Driving and Vehicle Licensing Agency) refused to give him a driving licence for fear of bringing the agency into disrepute. 

And as for Mr T's favourite article?

Etsy selling pills that will let you poop glitter.

Oh and just in case the world does come to an end as the Blood Moon prophecy predicts before I can post Media Monday next week (Monday 28th Of September) may I just say its been my pleasure knowing you all.

INTRODUCING POETRY SLAM CHAMPION SCOTT TYRRELL.

Today I'm pleased to be featuring poet, comedian and 2015 BBC Edinburgh Fringe Poetry Slam winner Scott Tyrrell whose book, Grown Up, which according to the Apples And Snakes site 

'provides a snapshot of a family man juggling the absurd demands of work and parenthood under the pressure of being normal' 

was published by Red Squirrel Press earlier this year.

Available from InPress Books here or from here at amazon.co.uk, Kate Fox writing for InPress Books has this to say ...

'Scott's poetry is as funny as the finest stand up comedy with razor sharp punch lines that hit just the right places. But it also has heart. The full warmth of life and love are in this book and it is guaranteed cheering up tonic for those who love poetry and those who think they don't but just haven't had the good fortune to encounter Scott's clever, down to earth wit and word wonder. One of the best stand up poets in the country live, but even if you haven't seen him perform (do), this books sings out from the page with a magical music all of it's own.'

But what of Scott's recent triumph at this years BBC Edinburgh Fringe Poetry Slam competition?

*** PRESS RELEASE ***

Newcastle-based poet Scott Tyrrell wins BBC Poetry Slam.

South Shields born Scott Tyrrell, a Stand-Up Poet and Graphic Designer, has just won the BBC Edinburgh Fringe Poetry Slam Grand Final. The BBC Slam is now the most diverse and most coveted Poetry Slam in the UK, with the widest national and regional representation of UK poetry. This year alone the competition featured a World champion, a European champion, 7 national champions and the Roadhouse champion. The competition has been running over the festival in a series of heats to decide which poets would make the final four competitors, who battled it out on Saturday night in a packed BBC Festival tent. The event was streamed live on BBC Arts via the iPlayer. The final featured excellent established performance poets Dan Simpson, Paula Varjack, Toby Campion and of course, Scott Tyrrell. The event was put together by Spoken Word artist and Slam host, Sophia Walker - herself a previous BBC Slam winner.

The Grand Final featured three rounds; in the first each poet had just 3 minutes to wow the judges (who comprised of five esteemed figures from the UK Spoken Word and poetry publishing scene). The judges scored the poets from 1-10 on performance, writing and audience response. In the second round the lowest scoring poet was dropped and the three remaining poets battled it out again, with another 3 minute poem. In the final round Scott and Toby Campion went head to head. It was close but Scott pipped it by just 0.3 of a point.

This has been a great year for Scott - winning both The Great Northern Slam at Northern Stage earlier in the year and the UK Anti-Slam Championship at The Roadhouse in London. (The Anti-Slam is a tongue-in-cheek national competition in which established spoken word artists battle it out to be the worst poet in the UK.) So Scott is now technically one of the best and worst performance poets in Britain!

Scott was also official Blogger for the poetry tent at Glastonbury this year.

The full 2015 BBC Poetry Slam on BBC iPlayer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/events/ednq2m/acts/abrd2m#p03176hh

A Clip of Scott's performance from the BBC Slam:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03131gv

About Slam and the UK Spoken Word Scene

The UK Spoken Word scene has exploded over the last decade, with vibrant scenes across the whole of the UK including Edinburgh, London, Manchester, Bristol, York and Newcastle, and is growing into a formidable poetry scene. The likes of Kate Tempest (Mercury Prize Winner) and huge talents Hollie McNish, Dizraeli and Luke Wright and Kate Fox have been among those leading the charge to establish Spoken Word as an art form that's here to stay in the UK.

Young poets from all over Britain and Ireland are finding an outlet for their talents as writers and performers, particularly in Slam competitions - an idea which started in Chicago decades ago and has become an international approach to inject real energy and competition into what has traditionally a very bookish art form. Anything to do with Spoken Word goes with Slam. So comedy, rap, drama, beat poetry and storytelling are all allowed - and encouraged - which is why slams nearly always feature a diverse range of literary talent. 

About Scott Tyrrell

Scott is a multiple poetry slam winner, award-winning comedian and graphic designer. He has been writing and performing poetry for 15 years and was a founding member of the legendary Tyneside poetry troupe, the Poetry Vandals. He has represented Newcastle/Gateshead in three major national Poetry Slams and won. He lives and works in Newcastle with his wife, stepdaughter and son.