PLUTO'S IN URANUS.

 

One of twenty five bloggers, another of whom is fellow blogger and follower of Pen and Paper, Gina of Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers fame, who over five days will be participating in this Blog Tour (the full list of which can be found in the Schedule at the bottom of the post). Today (the 5th day of the Tour) its my pleasure to be sharing my thoughts on  ...

Pluto's In Uranus by Patrick Haylock.

Genre: YA / Adult Humour

Publication Date: 30th November 2020

Standalone Novel

Estimated Page Count - 204

Purchase Link - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Plutos-Uranus-Patrick-Haylock-ebook/dp/B08PDNLY3W

Dave suffers from OCF – Obsessive Compulsive Fatalism.

Every day he is compelled to follow his online horoscope, and to actively seek out and participate in their prophesies.

One fated day, the signs are so compelling they embolden him to take a high stakes horse racing gamble. The consequence of his wager will lead Dave into situations way beyond his control and comfort zone, and his path will be crossed by an intriguing hotchpotch of larger-than-life characters.

This eccentric bunch of strangers include a Benny Hill loving vicar, a transvestite, a hippy, a diamond thief, a sausage roll addicted Bank manager, an underworld female mechanic, an ’ungry man, some piranha fish, a chimpanzee and many others.

Pluto’s in Uranus! is the story of a ‘tryer’ whose lucky omens will come back to taunt him.

KUSHTI BOK!

  www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPuhVnCq7e8&feature=youtu.be (Trailer)

Having been born on December 25th made Dave a Capricorn, and as a Christmas day baby he felt rare, special, and a part of a very exclusive club. (First Sentence, Prefix)

"It emerged that a mate had told him that using Vaseline would blur his face and make it unidentifiable on security cameras.

"Instead of smearing Vaseline onto the camera lens he rubbed it all over his face."

The cabin erupted in laughter and the vicar simply said, "What can you do?

"Even his trial judge told him that if sentencing was in line with stupidity, he'd be getting life."

Again, his large shoulders jiggled up and down in sync with his hearty laughter.

"Basically, the bloke's a moron!" (Memorable moment, Page 83)

MY THOUGHTS ... I've said it before and I'll doubtlessly say it again, I truly believe that 'funny' books are surely way up there when it comes down to difficult to write, after all books that are scary/make us want to cry here in the UK are pretty much books that are scary/make us want to cry the world over ... but humour? Well, let's just leave it as us Brits tend (broadly speaking of course) to have a quite different sense of humour than, lets say for example, our friends across the pond.

Oh dear! I'm rambling, aren't I?

I guess what I'm wanting to say is ...

Irrespective of anyone else, British or otherwise, with its delightfully silly plot and gloriously, err, quirky? eccentric? characters, somehow OTT and yet something I completely bought into at the same time; like one of those newspaper articles featuring a crime/'criminals' which seem too incompetent to be believable, Dave the sort of character to whom these things just seem to happen ... 

Pluto's In Uranus (especially the scenes at the church sale with its rather, shall we say, unfortunate set of events) made me chuckle. 

Definitely what I'd describe as different; unique and unusual, if your looking for a read that is that bit surreal, chances are you may well enjoy this debut novel from an author who, as he himself tells us, is 'a globally unrecognised writer who if you discount a school sweet pea growing competition, has won no awards whatsoever!'

ABOUT PATRICK HAYLOCK ... Patrick Haylock is a globally unrecognised writer who if you discount a school sweet pea growing competition, has won no awards whatsoever!

He was born in Enfield at a very dark time in the world. It was 1:45 am, to be precise, and it wasn’t too long before it dawned on him.

 

To make something of himself he was going to need two things the ability to tell the difference between a green onion and a scallion, and a good education.

Wormley Primary and Baas Hill Comprehensive schools did their best to fulfil both requirements, and after giving them 12 years of his life, they gave him seven printed sheets of paper, and the knowledge that there was no difference between a green onion and a scallion.

He also learned that the difference between onions and bagpipes was that no one ever
cries when you chop up bagpipes.

The certificated wisdom secured a national newspaper messenger’s job, which led to an editorial trainee position, followed by a production editor’s post, and progression
into freelance journalism.

‘Knowing his onions’ helped him to successfully establish his own publishing company, design studio, online retro webstore and high street art gallery.

Patrick lives with his wife in a converted Old Essex Brewery, where he claims the 6% ABV air quality inspires him to craft his nutty tales.

Although a ‘new voice’, in the literary world, those ‘in the know’ will willingly testify that his gift for imaginative storytelling is engaging, and, amusingly unique!

FOLLOW PATRICK HAYLOCK ... ~ Blog ~ GoodReads ~ Twitter ~ 

BOOK TOUR SCHEDULE ... ~ 27th March: c.isfor.claire_reads ~ Novel Kicks ~ The Magic Of Wor(l)ds ~ Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers ~ @wendyreadsbooks on Instagram ~ 28th March: karenandherbooks ~ donnasbookblog ~ Booky Charm ~ Insta - @duckfacekim09 ~ Morelli’s Reads ~ 29th March: Northernreader ~ Laura's Interests ~ Jazzy Book Reviews ~ Booksandemma-The Twist and Turn book blog ~ BetweenTheLines ~ 30th March: Ceri's Little Blog ~ Westveil Publishing ~ Lecari's Livejournal 2.0 ~ Splashes Into Books ~ Nicki`sLifeOfCrime ~ 31st Match: @rozierreadsandwine ~ B for bookreview ~ It Girl World UK ~ Felicity Grace Terry ~ sharon beyond the books ~

Re My Disclaimer which states "No financial compensation was asked for nor given. Threats of violence towards my favourite teddy bear went unheeded as did promises of chocolate", as a matter of transparency I think it only fair to disclose that whilst no money or indeed chocolate was exchanged (AND my teddy bear remains safe), I did however receive some promotional goods in exchange for a fair review, the opinions of which are mine and mine alone. FGT

ANSWERED, 33 RANDOM QUESTIONS.

Know what Kelly of Kelly's Thoughts & Ramblings favourite joke is? 

No? 

You will once you have her answer to ... 33 Random Questions.

What a great way to learn more about our fellow bloggers. I'd love to know YOUR answers to these 33 Random Questions. 

Don't want to read my wittering on? That's OK but, in need of a laugh?  You might want to check out numbers 16 and 33 before you go.


1. Who are you named after? Long story. I was going to be called Carol (not after anyone and not because I was a Christmas baby or anything like that)  but when born my parents thought I looked like a Tracy (whatever it is a Tracy looks like) so Tracy it was ... until it wasn't. Hating my name I legally changed it last year to names I both liked and had meaning to me; Felicity meaning happiness and Grace (amongst other things) forgiveness.
2. Last time you cried? Heck! I'm of a certain age when if I'm not crying/wanting to cry I'm wanting to scream. 
3. Do you like your handwriting? No. I never have. Its always seemed child-like to me.
4. What is your favourite sandwich? At the moment I'm rather partial to brie and tomato.

5. Favourite drink? Presently I'm rather into elderflower presse.
6. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.
7. Would you bungee? I'd rather have my tonsils removed ... without anaesthetic.
8. What is your favourite kind of cereal? I'm more of a toast/croissant/pain au chocolat, fresh fruit and yoghurt kind of person but when I do fancy a bowl of cereal its generally weetabix, crunchy nut cornflakes or muesli.
9. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Because of issues with my leg I have specially made clog type shoes which I just slip on which is just as well because I never learnt to tie shoe laces.
10. Do you think you are strong-willed? If its something I feel strongly about then, mmm, probably but otherwise, no, I don't think of myself as particularly strong willed.
11. Favourite ice-cream? You can't beat Cornish clotted cream ice-cream. And if it comes with a banana cut down the middle and covered in cream all the better.
12. What is the first thing you notice about a person? What it is they are reading. Oh! You mean physically? Their eyes.
13. Football or Baseball? I'm not sure if we're talking what we call football and the Americans call soccer. Not that it really matters, football/soccer (call it what you will), I'm not a fan just as I'm not a fan of baseball. 
14. Last book read? In The Heart Of The Amazon Forest by Walter Henry Bates.
15. Last thing you ate? Buttered toast, a pear and a strawberry yoghurt.
16. I wish I were listening? Something that makes me laugh so ...Tiny Tim Talks. You don't know about Tiny Tim Talks the '3 nearly 6' year old? This, his calling a transport company (below), is probably my favourite but there are lots to choose from.

17. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Yellow its my favourite colour. Its so cheerful.

18. What is your favourite smell? Freshly laundered washing that's been drying in sunshine all day.

19. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Val, a friend of mine.

20. In a relationship? Married 34 years this September; Mr T deserves a medal.

21. Eye colour? Blue.

22. Favourite food to eat? Oh! That's a hard one. Hmm! Probably ... probably Mr T's nut loaf (it includes mashed parsnip which makes it lovely and moist) with a mushroom sauce. 

23. Scary movies or happy endings? Aw! Can I opt for something that makes me laugh? No? OK then, happy endings it is.

24. Last movie you watched in a cinema? Do you know its been that long since I last visited the cinema that I have forgotten. Lets see, it was probably The Lone Ranger starring Johnny Depp.

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? I have to admit that I'm not wearing a shirt. Shameful I know but I'm still in my night clothes.

26. Favourite holiday? Like Kelly I'm wondering would that be a holiday as in a vacation or a holiday as in Easter/Christmas? If its the former, the week Mr T and I spent in a caravan in Scarborough just before we got married. If its the latter, Christmas.

27. Beer or wine? Neither, I don't drink alcohol unless its Christmas morning in which case I'll have a few mouthfuls of Bucks Fizz which unlike this, the recipe for the perfect Bucks Fizz, is more, much more OJ  and a lot less champagne.

28. Night owl or morning person? At the moment both both and neither. I think it fair to say your most likely to find me awake between the hours of 11.30pm to 3.00am OR 12 midday to 9.00pm

29. Favourite day of the week? I'm kind of partial to Saturdays as this is the day of the week Mr T and I aim to keep free in order that we can spend it together.
30. Favourite animal? Domesticated? Cats. Wildlife? Hedgehogs.
31. Do you have a pet? No. Alas our current circumstances mean having a pet isn't possible. 
32. Where would you like to travel? Given the current situation the world finds itself in I'm not wanting to travel anywhere. If asked pre Covid19, we were planning to meet up with friends from Germany who wanted to visit Scarborough so, yes, I'd like to travel to Scarborough. 
33. Favourite Joke? Really? OK, just remember, you asked.

A little blue man was feeling lonely and blue so he decided on a holiday at the Blue Dolphin Hotel and a week later, after packing his blue suitcase, got into his blue car and set off.

On arrival at the Blue Dolphin Hotel, the blue man got out of his blue car, took his blue suitcase and registered with the receptionist in the blue uniform.

He was shown to his room overlooking a very blue sea and found a welcome pack in a blue binder which ended with the warning "Under NO circumstances press the big blue button by the blue  door."

Now, after unpacking his blue suitcase and watching an episode of The Blue Planet on the television, the blue man became curious about the big blue button by the blue door and decided to press it. AND do you know what happened?

Yes, it Blew up!!!

WWW: THE WHIPPOO WHAT?

First off if I may ... Its come to my attention that some of those using Akismet Spam Protection are encountering difficulties with comments using my now name being labelled as spam. If you weren't aware of this name change and use Akismet could you please look out for any comments under the name of Felicity Grace Terry ... they are not spam. Thank you. FGT

Not a creature of myth and legend as say the mermaid or the vampire or even the luchorpain.  Magpies aside never has a bird been surrounded by so many myths many of them involving death ...



Its call best ignored according to the Native American Omaha tribe as to answer it meant certain death,

One New England legend says  it can sense a soul departing, and can capture it as it flees, 

According to H.P. Lovecraft in "The Dunwich Horror"

"It is vowed that the birds are psychopomps lying in wait for the souls of the dying, and that they time their eerie cries in unison with the sufferer's struggling breath. If they can catch the fleeing soul when it leaves the body, they instantly flutter away chittering in daemoniac laughter; but if they fail, they subside gradually into a disappointed silence",

Also mentioned in a short story by James Thurber in which the protagonist, driven mad by the insomnia caused by its persistent call, kills the occupants of the household and then himself,

Believed to be one of the gods of the night according to the The Colorado Utes who had it that it could turn a frog into the moon,

The Mohegan Tribe held the belief that makiwasug (magical little people) travelled through the forest at night in the shape of them,

'Old wives' tales had it that in springtime if a single woman heard its call only once she was destined to remain unmarried for that year. However if the song was to continue she was destined to remain a spinster for life ... unless of course that it is she made a wish upon hearing that first call,

As well as books and stories it features in many songs including the below ditty by Blackburry Smoke (A favourite group of Mr T's younger brother; the middle bro Terry.

It is of course the whippoorwill to which I refer

 - Here its call here.

Not your typical Wondrous Words Wednesday post (WWW being a Meme hosted by BermudaOnion's Weblog) I grant you but hey-ho a word I haven't come across before. Care to share any you have come across lately?

MR T'S 10 DAY MOVIE CHALLENGE ... REVEALED.

You may remember my post about my 10 Day Movie Challenge in which I revealed 10 of the films that had an impact on me and why. Well, I challenged Mr T to share 10 of the films that had an impact on him and here they are ... revealed.

The Life of Brian – Quintessential watching for anyone with an interest in Religion I think and not least for a lesson in bad apologetics. The Malcolm Muggeridge and Bishop of Stepney interviewing John Cleese and Michael Palin after the film is one of the most embarrassing displays by the hierarchy of begging utterly devoid of any humour.  Not least in that they later admitted having missed the first ten minutes of the film in which it is made plain that he is not the messiah, just a very naughty boy.

Pulp Fiction – My introduction to Tarantino and unsurprisingly Preacher man being the favourite character for me. It’s a style of evangelism I could get used to although I did get a bit tired of explaining to people the bible quote he recites is the fiction of his life… there aren’t even that many chapters in Ezekiel. The style of the film and the music are just so vivid and partly because the playing with timelines annoys her ladyship so much…’but he’s dead already!’

The Matrix – Watched this so many times, is it possible to wear out a DVD? Just combines so much of my interest in one good fun action flick. Christian symbology, the messiah of an oppressed peoples, truth and reality, existentialism, and the problem of choice and free will. So much to think about and ponder in the key themes it’s almost a potted philosophy of the last 2,000 years.

Metropolis – Fritz Langs 1927 epic costing roughly a million dollars at the time, engaging some 17,000 extras, 18 of whom died during production. Langs future prediction of the slavery to the machine for the masses condemned to living miserable lives underground. The elite, privileged and wealthy living above and playing in the pleasure gardens of the rich and famous. Also an interesting study in Old Testament prophecy as Maria acts as leader and comforter to the masses in their hovels inspiring them to hope and belief in the possibility of change.

The Big Kahuna – Tightly and beautifully scripted movie, all taking place in one hotel suite at a sales conference for the petrochemical industry.  All three characters beautifully drawn caricatures; Kevin Spacy as the cynical and somewhat biter misanthrope,  Danny DeVito as the tired and perhaps little world weary liberal just getting along and Peter Facinelli as the new bod from the chemical department, there to ‘look good’. The eponymous main man they are looking to hook into a contract is missed but it turns our young Bob had been talking to him socially and not knowing who he was didn’t do the business but talked about his faith with the man…  ‘I don’t suppose you discussed what brand of industrial lubricants Jesus would recommend?’ So much in this about the nature of evangelism.

The Seventh Seal – Ingmar Bergmans classic movie of death and dying with the knight challenged to a game of chess in order to preserve his life. Set during The Black Plague of the middle ages, dark and moody reflective stuff for dark days when world weary myself and the silence of God is getting a bit much for me.  Block admitting his sense of meaningless and nihilistic futility discovers the Priest in the church is in fact death who sets the game and Block’s life continues as agreed in his game with death.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – Living out my childhood fantasy of going back in history to meet major characters in history, although my choices would be slightly different, this is just simple good fun with a few moral lessons thrown in about youth and choice and the potential they hold in their awkward and unrealistic ambitions… at least they had ambitions.  Surprised but anticipating the third sequel coming out next year with Bill & Ted as middle aged family guys who still haven’t made it…

The Blind Swordsman -  A tale from Japan of a famous blind Samurai. Living quietly and making a living gambling largely he has left behind his former identity until chance encounters and high handed misdeeds by powerful but immoral individuals inspire him to take up a  cause.  Yes I do like the Chinese/Japanese stylings of this movie and directed by it’s principal character Takeshi Kitano, he knows these forms well and caters accordingly.

Heaven's Above - My favourite Ealing comedy where the good reverend Peter Sellers due to a clerical error ends up in a parish by mistake who are less than prepared for his methodology in ushering in the kingdom to come. As much of a delight for the marvellous supporting cast in Eric Sykes, Irene Handl and Roy Kinnear as the family who take advantage of him. Good farce as his ministrations lead to the threatening of a major employer, the tumbling of the stock market and questions asked in parliament. Cecil Parker is an archetypical Archdeacon frustrated by trying to manage events that are getting in the way of his social life.

The Truman Show – The only film that has ever given me a nightmare so bad I woke up screaming. Learning about Solipsism worried me intensely and this film envisions that nightmare. Never watched it again as I found it too vivid.

N.J. Terry

Funnily enough, one of these films very nearly made my list. Can you guess which one? The answer and reason why can be found below ....






Did you guess rightly?

The film that very nearly made my list was ....

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. One of the very few films with a time travel element that I actually got; that I actually sat quietly and watched.

FILMS 2018 #1.

Given that we made the decision to opt out of our contract with LoveFilm in favour of Amazon Prime; what with Mr T's work load, his Ordination, his studying for his second degree; the fact that we chose to spend Mr T's time off work, recovering from surgery, re-watching the full five seasons/63 episodes of Six Feet Under, a series we'd first watched on tv way back when HBO was in its infancy (at least here in the UK), we haven't watched many films. 

BUT that's about to change. 

Not that there will be a monthly post as before but hopefully there will be one once in every while, starting with, not a film, but the afore mentioned ...

SIX FEET UNDER ...

Essentially the goings on of the somewhat dysfunctional Fisher family who run a funeral parlour. Not something you'd maybe expect to be high on laughs but, darkly funny, it has its moments -  with every episode beginning with a death, just ask Mr T about the woman with a frying pan.

What surprises me though is just how much I'd invested in these characters. With the world outside proving to be just as challenging, I laughed; I cried (Oh my goodness! The last ever episode); I raged with/at brothers Nate and David; their sister, Claire; their mother, Ruth ... the whole entourage.

My only gripe? Some of it relevant, some of it not; much of it fast-forwarded through the further we got into the series there were too many sex scenes for my liking. TT 

NJT - Very biased on this one so not much of a review, more a paean of praise. Death and its rituals have always been a subject of interest for me and possibly more so now engaged in the delivery of funerals. This box set has been watched several times over and bits of it feature regularly in training and lectures. The struggle for meaning and purpose, nothing less is the theme here, set around the stories of one family whose business is a funeral home. 'tis a gritty one that doesn't pull its punches and not for the delicate of language or those put off by sex scenes. Not that this is gratuitous in anyway but I know some who find it a bit much. Totally engaging life stories of rich characters whom you will love in one episode and detest in the next as you follow the roller coaster of their life and loves. A favourite element of the show for me is that each episode opens with a brief scene of a death, the deceased turning up in the mortuary basement of the house and frequently joining in the conversations... if only the dead could talk, and here they do. Some of them bitter deaths, some are tear-jerkers and others are, well, Darwin Awards readers will appreciate, very, very funny... as well as episode mentioned above the episode beginning with The Rapture is pretty impressive.


PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES ... 

A book both Mr T and I enjoyed (him more so than me if memory serves but then he had read the original novel). The film started off well with laughs aplenty. However, it soon became, well, well, 
somewhat ... meh. TT

NJT - Having left school with a passionate hatred of the English classic and swearing never to look at Austen, Dickens, Bronte ever again, I of course had to take a butchers at this cultural melange. The book a better read than the film... (I sent my copy to an Austen loving friend in Louisiana!) the film sticks pretty rigidly to the story and extends Austen comedy of Englishness, manners and stiff upper lips into the zombie genre with good grace on the whole. Good settings and scenery, costume its worth a watch but not one to go back to I don't think.


THE MARTIAN ...

Having read (and not enjoyed) the book and this, being on a terrestrial channel with adverts, ten minutes short of three hours long, I decided against watching it. TT

NJT - Yes worth a viewing, it certainly has more to commend it than Apollo 13 in my opinion. As a technical malfunction and a failed transmitter leave the astronaut stranded a long way from home it follows his struggle with loneliness and eking out an existence with what he has to hand. Back on earth meanwhile the error is discovered and the rescue plan put in place. A bit long perhaps and I would have shaved a good 20 minutes out of it at least, but an entertaining enough piece.


VICTORIA AND ABDUL ...

One of the best film I have seen in a long while. Highly watchable; funny and charming, a poignant portrait of the human connection, the sense of grandeur palatable; the cinematography beautiful. Its not afraid to have a few digs at racism and snobbery, its illustrating the palace's games for power, fascinating; the use of poetic licence both impeccable and exquisite.  

A far better film than Mrs Brown (for one thing Victoria's companion; her 'Munshi', Abdul Karim played beautifully by Ali Fazal, is so much more pleasing to the eye than Billy Connoly), this sees Judi Dench return to her role as the now 68 year old monarch.

I don't see it as my 'job' to recommend films; only to record my thoughts on them, BUT if I were to do so I'd say ... watch this. TT

NJT - Thoroughly enjoyable couple of hours tracing this later relationship in Queen Victoria's (Judi Dench) life which was kept very hush and hush and only revealed in the discovery of Abdul's (Ali Fazal) personal journals years after he died. Chance as chance is, unpredictable, he finds himself plucked from Agra to be one of a pair presenting a ceremonial medal to Queen Victoria in England. The chance develops into something wonderful as the two find a mutual liking and she appoints him her 'Munshi'.  The establishment is scandalised of course and fails to see the delight and happiness that the Queen gains from this and the forces gather to see it ended. Not least of these is in Bertie, her eldest son, who played by Eddie Izzard is reprehensible and displays nothing but contempt for the man. Dench is superb as the crabbitty had enough of this lark queen, and Fazal plays a delightful, honest devotion that is compelling, their conversations touching on meaning and purpose in life and the constraints that we face in discovering it. 

Inspired by Kelly's One Sentence Movie Reviews, you can catch up on what she has been watching here.