THE LONELY POLYGAMIST.

THE LONELY POLYGAMIST by BRADY UDALL.

Golden Richards is a normal dad. But with four wives and twenty-eight children there just isn't enough of him to go around. Unbeknownst to his wives, Golden has taken a construction job on a Nevada brothel. Lying to cover his tracks, beset by familial rivalry on all sides, he seeks relief in the arms of his boss's wife. This is the story of a polygamist who has an affair. But there is much more to it than that.
...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (chapter 1): To put it as simply as possible: this is the story of a polygamist who has an affair.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 27): Golden flinched, struck by the moment he found himself in: standing in a dark closet, knuckles smeared with barbecue sauce, tinkling into a bucket while delivering a lecture about bathroom manners to a dog wearing jockey shorts.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: Not.

Ah if only I had enjoyed this half as much as Jenners had - click HERE to read her review.

Ok, so it was funny, very funny, in places - the chewing gum incident hilarious - would you know how to get gum out of pubic hair? - BUT on the whole I found The Lonely Polygamist boring, predictable and rambling.

At 599 pages it was quite a substantial read that felt even longer thanks to the small, pale print - made even more difficult to read on occasions by the italic print. A shame really as I was so looking forward to this novel about the life of a large, communal family made up of a man, his 4 wives and 28 children.

And therein lay much of the problem for me. Told not only from the view point of Golden (the polygamist of the title), the story was also told from several other peoples point of view which spoilt the flow of the narrative and made it difficult for me to relate to any of the characters.

According to Amazon.co.uk this novel is frequently bought alongside The Help by Katherine Stockett, a book I read and REVIEWED recently and which, to me anyway, bears no comparison whats so ever.

Obtained free of charge (p&p only) from Newbooks magazine, this is the 52nd book read for the 100+ Reading Challenge.

RULES, LAWS AND MORE RULES.

Human rights campaigners have complained after council workers in Isesaki, Japan, were banned from growing beards in a bid to cut air conditioning bills. Staff had already been told to leave jackets and ties at home.


A law has been passed in Moscow making it illegal to walk your dog when you're drunk if the pooch weighs more than 16kg (35lb).




In Amsterdam, Holland major Job Cohen wants to stop a crime wave by confiscating the trainers of convicted muggers. "We take Porsches and yachts from drug dealers, why not take the running shoes from muggers if that's the most expensive thing they own?" he said.


In a bid to cut back its carbon footprint, the Crowne Plaza Copenhagen Towers hotel, Denmark, has hooked up two exercise bikes to its generators. Any guest who produce 10 watts of electricity for the hotel qualify for a free meal - worth about £28.50.





The government of South Korea has had a bright idea to tackle the country's falling birth rate. It's switching off the lights in civil service offices early one day a month to encourage workers to go home early and make babies.


Authorities in Vienna, Austria, have asked swimmers to stop swallowing water in a bid to save money. A survey found that it cost £20 per day to replace the chlorine from the 5,000 litres of water that goes missing from the city's 18 public pools each day.

KITTY GOES TO WASHINGTON.

KITTY GOES TO WASHINGTON by CARRIE VAUGHN.

The country's only celebrity werewolf, late-night radio host Kitty Norville prefers to be heard, not seen. But when she's invited to testify at a Senate hearing on behalf of supernaturals, her face gets plastered on national TV. Kitty's been in hot water before, but jumping into the D.C. underworld brings a new set of problems. And a new set of friends and enemies, including the vampire mistress of the city; an uber-hot Brazilian were-jaguar; and a paranoid, Bible-thumping senator who wants to expose Kitty as a monster. Kitty quickly learns that in this city of dirty politicians nd backstabbing pundits, everyone's itching for a fight.
...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: (Chapter 1): "We have Beth from Tampa on the line. Hello."

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 290): Those words had been spoken by every woman who'd ever been screwed over by a boyfriend. Immortality didn't change some things, apparently.

KEEP IT OR NOT?: Much as I enjoyed this I will be passing in on to a friend who is a huge fan of this genre.

Hmm, not too sure what I was expecting looking at the front of this cover (not too mention the blurb on the back which boldly stated 'werewolves do it better'), perhaps something a bit risque but certainly not this enjoyable supernatural read.

The second book in the Kitty Norville series, I was able to enjoy this as a stand alone read BUT found myself intrigued by some of the references to characters (just who was T.J.?) and events in book 1 - Kitty And The Midnight Hour.

A bit of a slow starter, it wasn't until page 150 or so that anything much really happened but once it did I was totally and completely gripped, Kitty is a novel that is not without thrills and spills but concentrates more on the psychological.

Quite topical in a way, Kitty Goes To Washington obviously looks at the plight of the supernatural 'community' but deals with issues that are not unheard of in many of our communities today.

Full of wonderful characters who proved that there is good and bad amongst all groups, I was totally intrigued and horrified by Elijah Smith, a self-styled faith healer who believed that .....

I don't want to include any spoilers but I will say he put me in mind of the preachers who believe faith is able to cure people of their 'undesirable' conditions - conditions such as homosexuality.

Very exciting and with lots of surprises in store, this is a wonderful read that is quite different from any other werewolf/vampire novel (yes, it has them both)I have read and it is well worth persevering past the first 100 pages.

An ex-library stock read, this is the 51st book read for my 100+ Reading Challenge.

UNPAID FINES! FORGED CURRENCY! NUDITY IN A PUBLIC SPACE!

Just how much was this door mat worth? Certainly not £4,000.

Bailiffs took the front-door mat from a man's house after he refused to let them into his property.

Bailiffs were called in after the householder ran up a £4,000 bill in council tax.

Instead of going home empty-handed when he refused to let them in, they left with his door mat. - The Telegraph (20/06/2011)

And it wasn't just LOOse change either.

BUSINESSMAN FLUSHES CASH DOWN THE TOILET THINK IT IS FAKE. A businessman who flushed hundreds of pounds in 'fake' £20 notes down the lavatory discovered days later that the cash had been genuine. - Ausian Cramb, The Telegraph (20/06/2011)


A bad case of ovinophobia - that's a fear of sheep to you and me.

CI THE BORDER COLLIE'S FEAR OF SHEEP  is making it impossible for him to do his job.
The four-year-old developed his fear of sheep when owner Jane Lippington placed him in their field as a puppy.
Now instead of rounding up his flock, Ci is more likely to be seen being chased by it. - The Telegraph (23/06/2011) Click on above link to see Ci in action.

A bit cheeky .......

THIEF TURNS UP IN COURT WEARING COAT HE DENIED STEALING. A thief has been convicted after arriving at court wearing the coat he was accused of stealing.

Judith Birkett, defending, insisted her client would not have been stupid enough to turn up at court in a stolen coat. - The Sun (23/06/2011)

A coat could be the answer as .......

COUPLE ASKED TO COVER UP THEIR MICHELANGELO' DAVID STATUE.It's been around for 500 years but now the manhood on Michelangelo's David has upset the sensitivities of Leicestershire council.

When a couple put up a replica of the nude statue outside their home a killjoy council told them to move it - because it was causing offence. - The Mail (23/06/2011)

Talk about leading a dog's life!!!!!!

Massages and silver service at 'Happy Hound Hotel'. A country hotel is to provide Britain's first silver-service for dogs.

Canine guests at the Riverside Hotel, Worcestershire, have their own waiter and can order room service, choosing from a three-course dog menu. - Marie Woolf, The Times (26/06/2011)

PLEASE NOTE : Wherever possible I will endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.

TWO MEN ARE HUNTING IN THE WOODS.

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He's not breathing and his eyes are rolled back.


The other man takes out his mobile phone and calls emergency services.


He says to the operator "My friend is dead, what do I do?"


The operator replies in a soothing voice "Calm down, I can help. Firstly, lets make sure he is dead."


There was silence then the sound of a gun being fired.


The man comes back on the line and says "Ok, what do I do now?"

- Voted best joke of 2002, thanks Niece #2 for sending this.

FOUR THINGS MEME.

Okay dokey, here I go with a post inspired by Jenners over at Life .... With Books. Named the Four Things Meme, amongst other things, we get to know 4 places Jenners has lived,4 books she would recommend and 4 of her favourite foods ...... click HERE for her remaining 4 'things'.

Four jobs I have had in my life....

1. Bingo caller. Enough to have put me off the game for life. I lost count of the number of brawling pensioners I had to deal with.
2. Adult Training Centre Worker. My favourite job working with the group of people we then referred to as mentally handicapped.
3. Play scheme Worker. See I don't hate children ..... I just couldn't eat a whole one.
4. Teaching Assistant. Ah the stories I could tell you.

Four books I would read over and over....

1. Twas The Night Before Christmas by Clement C. Moore. A wonderful poem, perfect for Christmas Eve.
2. John Barrowman's autobiographies. Not spectacular reads but, hey, any excuse to drool over JB is good enough for me. 
3. The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom.

Four places I have lived....

(very boring when you consider they are all within a 20 mile or so radius of each other)

1. Ryton. Not that I remember living here as I was only a baby when we moved.
2. Wardley. much of my childhood was spent here.
3. Houghton-Le-Spring. I started married life living here.
4. Longbenton. My home for the last 14 years.

Four books I would recommend ....

1. The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. Like Jenners I also adore this book.
2. Balthazar Jones And The Tower Of London Zoo by Kim Edwards.
3. Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett. Even though I'm not a huge fan this is one of the most beautiful books I have ever written.
4. Old Possum's Book Of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot. Even if you don't really like poetry the cat illustrations are delightful.

Four Places I have been ....

1. Germany. 
2. Kos (Greece).
3. Istanbul (Turkey)
4. Venice (Italy). 

Four of my favourite foods....

1. Chocolate.
2. Husband dearest's vegetable lasagne.
3. Three cheese pasta.
4. Ice-cream. At the moment I'm especially keen on Ben And Jerry's cookie dough ice-cream.

Four of my favourite drinks ....

1. Hd's freshly made banana milkshake.
2. American style (the kind that is so thick you can hardly suck it up the straw) strawberry milkshake.
3. Ice Tea - if in Greece.
4. Fentimans rose lemonade.

Four places I would rather be right now ....

1. Visiting some of my blogger buddies.
2. Germany/Kos/Turkey/Venice.
3. The library.
4. Anywhere there isn't a telephone.

Four things that are special in my life ....

1. Hd (goes without saying)
2. Books.
3. Hedgehogs.
4. The Sunday night quiz.

Four bloggers I hope will do this meme ....

1. You.
2. You.
3. You. 
4. You  - but only if you leave a link to your post so that we can all read your 4 favourite things meme.

John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood - As I said any excuse.

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF BENEVOLENT SEXISM?

Are you a woman who does not object when a man opens a door for you? 

Are you a woman who would thank a man for offering to carry your heavy bags? 

Answer yes to either of the above and you are guilty of encouraging benevolent sexism.

Are you a man who opens doors for women OR are you a man who has ever offered to carry a women's heavy bags?

Then, even though you think it may be the gentlemanly thing to do, you are in fact also guilty of benevolent sexism ........

At least according to the study published in Psychology of Women Quarterly (POWQ).

It's not your fault though, well, not entirely your fault anyway.

No, it seems this all goes back to Sir Walter Raleigh who it is claimed laid down his cloak over a puddle so that Queen Victoria did not get her feet wet. The chivalrous thing to do, right?

Wronnngggg. For whilst few people would have doubted which of these two wielded the real power, all those who have followed Raleigh's example over the centuries are merely reinforcing a culture of inequality and injustice, a culture where of women are seen as the vulnerable sex unable to cope without the help of a man.


But it could be worse. How, I hear you ask


Well, you could be a 'modern sexist' or a 'neosexist' who are men who say or do things knowing they might cause offence as opposed to the type of man who opens doors for women/offers to carry heavy bags - something, as POWQ are quick to point out, which women could be guilty of encouraging.


So shoot me, guilty as charge I don't object to having a man open a door for me, it doesn't make me feel vulnerable or unequal AND it certainly does not make me feel as if an injustice has been done BUT then what do I know?


Inspired by THIS ARTICLE written by Andy Bloxham for The Telegraph (15/06/2011)


Hmm, it's been some hours since I saved this post ready for publication and I've been thinking - for some reason Husband dearest always worries when I utter these three words, I can't think why. The POWQ would no doubt accuse him of benevolent sexism, me being the stupid little woman that I am - whoops, is that me encouraging him?


With regard to the giving up of seats, as a child I was always encouraged to stand and give my seat to an adult when travelling on public transport. The reason? My legs were younger than theirs and they were more in need of the seat.
Does this mean that a man on offering his seat see us women as more needy or is he just being polite? Not that his reason really matters ...... or does it? Hmm, I wonder.

SECOND HAND HEART.

SECOND HAND HEART by CATHERINE RYAN HYDE.


"Thanks for the heart," she said.


It was a surprisingly simple statement in the midst of all that life and death and indebtedness.


ONE GIRL
Vida is nineteen, very ill, and has spent her short life preparing for death. But a new chance brings its own story, because for Vida to live, someone had to die.


ONE MAN
Richard has just lost his beloved wife in a car accident. He hasn't even begun to address his grief, but feels compelled to meet the girl who inherited his wife's heart.


SOMEONE ELSE'S HEART
In hospital Vida sees Richard and immediately falls in love. Of course he dismisses her as a foolish child. But is she? Can two people be bound by a Second hand Heart?
.... Outer back cover.


FIRST SENTENCE (Vida: On my upcoming death): I'm probably going to die really soon.


MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 33): Didn't she know the thrill of freedom I got from walking up those stairs by myself? How could she take an important moment like that away from me, when I had so few?


KEEP IT OR NOT?: Despite the fact that I did like this novel, I can't see myself reading it again and know my mam will love it.


Have you ever read a book and not been able to put it down? I'm sure most of you have but have you ever done so not really knowing quite what made you read page after page after page despite it being silly o'clock in the morning? I found myself doing just this with Second Hand Heart.


A fascinating concept, I loved the thought that memories could perhaps be stored in the heart as well as the brain, that a  transplanted organ could contain memories of the previous 'owners' life as seems to be the case with 19-year-old Vida. 


Not just a story of cellular memories but also a tale of relationships and journeys of self discovery I don't know exactly why I found Second Hand Heart so compelling as I found the story rather over stretched and most of the characters fairly awful - Vida especially so. Immature and selfish, all her actions seemed to revolve around her wants and desires. That said, Richard, the other main character, hardly seemed much better though it could be argued that his grief for his wife, the thought that part of her still lived on within Vida, informed many of his decisions.


Perhaps it was the romantic in me, perhaps it was some deep-seated belief that the spirit does indeed live on, perhaps it was just to find out how the story ended - I don't know what it was but, despite my thinking otherwise, I did enjoy this novel which certainly had me thinking about the issues surrounding transplants and how it must feel to know someone has had to die in order for you to live.

Whoopeeee, I'm half way there - the 50th book read for my 100+ Reading Challenge. Second Hand Heart was a reading group read but luckily I already had a copy, purchased free of charge from NewBooks magazine, on my tbr mountain.

AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING.

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

ASH.

ASH by Malinda LO.


With her parents both gone, Ash finds herself a servant in the house of her ruthless stepmother and there seems no hope of finding happiness again.


But Ash is unaware of her mother's legacy, and that it will lead her to a magical place. A place where love, identity and belonging are all waiting.
.... Outer back cover.


FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1: Aisling's mother died at midsummer.


MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 271): Ash knew that this was what the fairies were always hunting for: a circle of joy, hot and brilliant, the scent of love in the deepest winter. But all they could do was create a pale, crystalline imitation, perfect and cold. How it must disappoint them: that they would never be human.


KEEP IT OR NOT?: Not.

First of all, the cover, isn't it beautiful? I know I'm probably prejudiced but I really do think the British cover is one of the prettiest covers I've ever seen. Which do you prefer - the US version, above left or the English version on the right?



Actually the photograph does not show the cover in all it's glory. The silver background between the trees actually has a lovely mother-of-pearl shell-like shine that, in a certain light, shimmers beautifully.


If only the story itself was so wonderful.


A sort-of re-telling of Cinderella, Ash has all the elements of a traditional fairy tale -  from the wicked stepmother to the masquerade ball from which Ash (full name Aisling)must be home by midnight to the handsome Prince in search of a bride - except, being aimed at the young gay/lesbian market, for one slight difference ..... the love interest of Ash is another female character, Kaisa, a rather beautiful huntress - Huntress incidentally being the title of the  second book in the series.


Very subtle, sweet and quite innocent, I thought this romantic element to the story made it a little different from your usual conventional fairy tale. That said, I was, on the whole, very disappointed with Ash. Reading (almost) like a traditional tale it was extended to animated film length (if that makes sense) which, to me, just didn't work, making the novel seem overlong,plodding and lacking in substance.

Ex-library stock, Ash was the 49th book read in my 100+ Reading Challenge.

ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY? THEN I'LL BEGIN.

Many thanks for all the messages of concern - Husband dearest is out of hospital and back to work today.


Sounds just like my kind of job.

BBC EMPLOYS A 'CHAIR CHAMPION' who will teach staff how to sit down to ensure they are comfortable at their desks. - Anita Singh (14/06/2011)

Its official .......

QUILTING IS THE LATEST CURE-ALL HOBBY. According to researchers at the University of Glasgow, quilting is “uniquely” good for us, offering, as it does, an outlet for creativity and bringing benefits that mere physical and outdoor pursuits can’t provide. BUT a closer look at this traditional handicraft reveals it to have a dark underbelly for far from being an act of contemplative creativity, quilts have been used for centuries as a covert method of illicit communication; a forum for domestic anarchy or a mischievous platform for venting spleen.- Judith Woods (14/06/2011)

A shame no one bothered to tell this man about the therapeutic benefits.

MAN REMOVES WART ...... WITH A SHOTGUN. For five years, Sean Murphy was driven to distraction by a painful wary that no amount of creams or ointments could cure. 

So he came up with his own radical and permanent procedure to remove the stubborn wart forever - he blasted it with a 12-bore shotgun.

But not only did the blast take off almost his entire finger, it also left him facing 15 years in jail for the illegal possession of a firearm. - Nigel Bunyan (16/06/2011)

And talking of injuries, did you know ....

MORE THAN 20,000 PEOPLE A YEAR ARE ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL AFTER FALLING OUT OF BED. Another 12,000 are admitted after falling from a chair, 6,400 after falling from ladders AND 1,200 falling from trees. (15/06/2011)

Tell me something I didn't already know.

HER SLEEP IS KEY TO A HAPPY HOME. Husbands who want a happy marriage should ensure their wives get a good night's sleep as a study has found that relationships can suffer if women have a restless night, but the same is not true for men.- Martin Beckford (16/06/2011)

And if a good night's sleep fails how about a cup of tea .... but not just any old cuppa .....

THE PERFECT CUPPA, the secret ingredient of which is patience. A team at the University of Northumbria found that leaving a cuppa for six minutes allowed it to cool to the optimum temperature. Allowing it to cool to 60C was key, letting it drop much further destroyed the 'all-round sensory experience'. - Richard Alleyne (16/06/2011)

Sounds a bit fishy to me.

A cyclist who rode 10 miles to buy a catfish was banned from carrying it home because staff were worried about its safety. 

"Taking a fish on a bike is safer than driving as you don't get the jolts and I always ask for extra water and put the fish in a bag over my shoulder." said Brian Booth. - Sunday Mercury (June 2011)

PLEASE NOTE: All of this Monday's Media post is brought to you courtesy of The Telegraph.Wherever possible I will endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.

IT NEVER RAINS ......

..... BUT IT POURS.

Another one of my Nana's sayings? You guessed.

A friend of Husband dearest and I always used to say ...

The light at the end of the tunnel is the next train waiting to knock you down.

A bit cynical I know but life sometimes does feel like this.

Anyway, not only have we seen the light but Hd has indeed been hit by that train - not literally thank goodness.

Feeling unwell since Monday, he was taken into hospital on Tuesday evening with what first appeared to be a flare up of his Crohnns Disease but turned out to be food poisoning - not good but better than a flare up of Crohns. The result being he has been moved to a room by himself and can only be approached by staff wearing aprons, gloves and masks etc. Not too sure about visitors, the hospital has yet to decide if even I can visit.

Its not all bad news though ......

Vivienne of Serendipity has sent me an email to let me know I have won a signed copy of .....

A Western mystery, not a genre I am familiar with, I look forward to broadening my reading and would like to thank Vivienne for hosting the giveaway and publishers Orion for sending the book.

THE HISTORY OF LUCY'S LOVE LIFE IN 10 1/2 CHAPTERS.

THE HISTORY OF LUCY'S LOVE LIFE IN 10 1/2 CHAPTERS by DEBORAH WRIGHT.


Lucy is bored with her love life. She has been dating Anthony Brown for a year but she's still not sure he is The One - she's young and there are plenty more fish in the sea, especially the cute boy in the newsagent's who keeps smiling at her. Modern men seem so useless - she wants a real romantic hero instead.


When Lucy is sacked from her job as a PA to a scientist, she retaliates by stealing the prototype for a time travel machine. Of course, she can't resist seeing if it works ....


And so Lucy heads back in time to meet the world's most famous lovers, including Byron and Casanova. Can they capture her heart, or has the true love of her life been under her nose all along?
..... Outer back cover.


FIRST SENTENCE (Prologue): Sometimes when I can't sleep, I lie in bed and pose the question: if you could spend one night with any man in the world - just one man - who would it be?


MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 199): "Ralph!" she screamed, hitting him with her bouquet. "I can't believe you let them gun someone down at my very own wedding.


KEEP IT OR NOT?: Without a doubt I'll be keeping this one.


Hmm, to buy or not to buy? That was indeed the question. Looking on the negative side there was mention of a time machine (never a huge selling point to me) BUT on the plus side I loved the cover, the idea of going back in time to meet some of the world's greatest lovers really appealed and, the deciding factor, as ex-library stock reading about Lucy's love life (in under 11 chapters)was only going to cost me 30p - money  more than well spent as it turns out.


A great, fun read, which, ok, a little silly in places, had me laughing out loud on several occasions not least of which was ..... 


I don't want to include any spoilers hence the option for you to hi-light the next paragraph if you so wish.


..... the adventures of Byron (aka Brian) who ends up in England in 2005 where, passing as Lucy's lover, he surfs the net, becomes a 'modern day' celebrity and, with the advent of Byronmaia gets to go on reality tv show Big Brother where he seduces feminist Germaine Greer.


A fun and original read, this was a novel full of wonderful characters, most of whom I could relate to on one level or another and many of whom I found myself really caring about. Take, for example, main characters Lucy and Anthony - whilst at times I found myself totally exasperated by their actions I also felt quite maternal towards them and, at times, found myself shouting out advice. And as for the world's most famous lovers that Lucy met on her 'travels'? A touch of genius, I loved how the author managed to cleverly include all these cultural references.




The 48th book read in the 100+ Reading Challenge. Not a read I was sure I would like or be able to follow, I found myself gripped by this book which though classed as 'chick lit' I found much more intelligent than the average read of this genre.

DEADLY SERIOUS.

WHO WOULD STEAL SUCH A THING?

AUTOPSY TABLE STOLEN. An autopsy table, defibrillators, a security camera, a toilet seat and a car park ticket machine were just some of the items reported stolen by hospitals in Kent and Sussex.- BBC News (06/06/2011)

And talking of burglars ....

The average burglar wears trainers worth more than £100, a study into crime scene footprints has suggested. Researchers at the University of Leicester found 94% of burglars wear trainers costing up to £120 and their favourite brands were Nike, Reebok and Adidas. - The Telegraph (08/06/2011)

There's a moose loose aboot this hoose.*

SCARY INFLATABLE MOOSE INVENTED. When a big bear approaches, some people choose to quietly stroll away. To give them an extra measure of safety, Anthony Victor Saunders and Adam Warwick Bell invented what they call a 'pop-up device for deterring an attacking animal' but sadly the patent never saw the light of day. - Marc Abrahams, The Guardian (07/06/2011)

* For those of you not in the know this was a slogan used by a company to advertise Maynards Wine Gums.

Own up ....

WHO FORGOT TO LOCK THE BANK.Bank customers had to stand guard after a branch of Barclays was left unlocked for almost four hours after staff went home forgetting to lock the doors or set the alarm.Even the cashiers' service area and the route to the vault were left open to passers-by in Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, on Saturday afternoon.The blunder was only noticed when a customer went into the branch to withdraw cash and found no staff present. - The Mail (07/06/2011)

Too much information?

COUPLE TWITTER ABOUT HOME BIRTH. A couple from Cardiff have shared the home birth of their baby girl with a running commentary on Twitter.

Mary Wycherley and her partner Martin Carr were followed by thousands worldwide on the social network throughout the nine-hour labour. - BBC News (08/06/2011)

You don't say, Leicester City Council admits it is ....

UNPREPARED FOR A ZOMBIE ATTACK. A worried member of the public has forced Leicester City Council to admit it is unprepared for a zombie invasion. The authority received a Freedom of Information request which said provisions to deal with an attack, often seen in horror films, were poor. - BBC News (10/06/2011)

Very eccentric and very, very rich but would you fight over the Lord Of Bath (pictured below)?

WIFELET OF BATH ARRESTED. A women suffered a suspected broken nose in a vicious fight over who would "sleep with the peer” that evening at 18th century Longleat House, a source said. Lord Bath, 79,who has been described as the country’s most eccentric aristocrat, had apparently already retired for the evening, saying ‘You sort it out, I’m going to bed’.” - Richard Savill, The Telegraph (11/06/2011)

0uch!!!! This has got to hurt .....

CORSET PIERCING CRAZE HITS NORTH EAST OF ENGLAND. FORGET tattoos, belly button rings and ear lobe stretching - the latest craze in the name of beauty is corset piercing. The weirdest fad of body modification sweeping the North involves sticking metal hoops into the skin by hand – and then threading them with ribbon to create a corset effect. - Emma King, The Sunday Sun (12/06/2011)

And to end with, two cute animal stories.

MIKHAIL, THE AMAZING YOGA BEAR. Mikhail the amazing yoga bear - who astonishes visitors every day with his incredible stretching routine. Sitting firmly on the ground, the huge grinning grizzly thrusts out his legs one at a time - just like a 'boat pose' in yoga. - Lee Moran, The Mail (10/06/2011)

BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER.  Some have been orphaned when their parents were killed, others may have fallen from their nests but now these ten tawny owls are a family at last.

Lined up in a row, they are pictured at St Tiggywinkles wildlife hospital which has carefully gathered up the birds over the last few weeks. - The Mail (10/06/2011)

PLEASE NOTE: Wherever possible I will endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.