WHAT DO A BUTLER, A DRUNKEN MOOSE AND A BUSKING DOG HAVE IN COMMON?

I've brought you similar posts about Her Maj Queen Elizabeth wanting staff .........

QUEEN SEEKS BUTLER. It may not command the highest salary and the hours might be long and arduous – but jobseekers who want to work for a well-known boss need look no further.

The successful applicant, will be based at Buckingham Palace, but must also be willing to spend at least three months of the year at other Royal residences, including Balmoral in the Highlands and Sandrigham in Norfolk.

While the salary on offer is only £15,000 a year, butlers receive free accommodation and are trained to the highest standard.  - Martin Evans, The Telegraph (05/09/2011)

Typical!

An attempt to break the world record for the biggest kite ever flown had to be called off after organisers of the Bristol International Kite festival decided it was ........ too windy. - The Telegraph (05/09/2011)

Thanks to Ollie for this article.

DRUNK MOOSE STUCK IN A TREE. A drunk Swedish moose got stuck up an apple tree and had to be cut free after an intoxicating evening foraging for fruit.

Police believe the inebriated elk got into a state after eating fermented apples, and got stuck while trying to reach fruit higher up the tree. Metro News (07/09/2011)

After last week's tattoo story (click HERE if you missed it)today I bring you one of my favourite articles ........

GRAN HAS 'DO NOT RESUSCITATE' TATTOO. 

If Joy Tomkins ends up in a life-or-death situation her wishes are plain to see – written across her chest.

The 81-year-old gran-of-six is so adamant that doctors should not save her life in an emergency, she has had a “Do Not Resuscitate” tattoo.

And in case she collapses face down and paramedics miss the big, blue capital letters, she’s had “PTO” and an arrow inked on her back. - The Mirror (08/09/2011)

It had to happen.

Newcastle United(NUFC)have become the latest football club to launch their very own lingerie.

The range, in the team's black and white stripes, include briefs, stockings, suspender belts, bras and camisoles.

The 'Toon Army' have signed a deal with football-related underwear specialist Premier Lingerie to stock official club shops with special underwear emblazoned with the teams logo. - The Mail (08/09/2011)

Ouch, this had to hurt!!!!!!!

SCOTTISH WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO UK'S BIGGEST BABY GIRL.Farrah Gallagher weighed 12lb 9oz when she was born - nearly twice the average weight of newborn girls in the UK.

Proud parents Karen and Robert Gallagher said their daughter's size had been something of a surprise to them, particularly as Mrs Gallagher is just 5ft 2in tall. - Yahoo News (09/09/2011)

Saving the best till last, my favourite articles this week?

A 'singing' dog has become the first pet in the country to be awarded a busking permit, allowing it to howl in the street (click HERE to see BBC video).

Egypt, a Newfoundland dog, accompanies its musician owner Simon Cartlidge, barking and howling while he sings and plays the guitar. - The Telegraph (09/09/2011)

DEVON BREEDER BECOMES DAD ....... TO A DUCK. A duckling shunned by the rest of his feathered family is now inseparable from the man who rescued him — and even follows his new "dad" to the pub.

Eleven-week-old Star was just days old when he became distressed and started doing a manic "waddling dance" in a bid to escape his siblings.

So his breeder, Barrie Hayman, 65, from Eastleigh, North Devon, decided to rescue him from the incubator, and popped him in his pocket. Now nearly three months later the unlikely pair have become inseparable and wherever Mr Hayman goes Star is waddling not far behind – so much so that the duck has become somewhat of a local celebrity. - This Is Devon (09/09/2011).

PLEASE NOTE : Wherever possible I will endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.