30 Jun 2012

MARITAL BLISS (AND MORE) ON INTERNATIONAL JOKE DAY.

Ha-ha, He-he, Lol, Rofl - yes, tomorrow it's International Joke Day and I thought I'd share these howlers with you.


Please feel free to share your favourite joke with us either by leaving it in my comment box or if you haven't already done so by posting it on your blog, just don't forget to tell us you have done so.


Wife: 'There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.'
Husband: 'Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous.'
Wife: 'I tell you there is water in the carburetor.'
Husband: 'You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?'
Wife: 'In the swimming pool.' 
- Thanks to Erica on FaceBook.


And one of my favourites .........


A man is watching a film with haunting organ music on tv when all of a sudden he yells out 'You idiot, don't enter that church, it's a trap.'
On hearing him shout out his wife asks him what he is watching.
The husband replies 'Our wedding video.'
(To see more click on 'Labels' which is on the bottom of the sidebar at the right hand side of my blog)


A man is sitting reading his newspaper when his wife hits him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' he asks.
His wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny written on it that I found in your trouser pocket.'
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I had a bet on.'
Apologising his wife got on with the housework.
Three days later the man is sitting watching tv when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asks.
Her reply?
'Your horse phoned.'
- Thanks to MadPriest on FB.


Once upon a time there was a man who seemed perfectly normal except for one thing .... he was red.
One day, the red man was in the shower when the doorbell rang and so putting on a towel he ran downstairs and opened the door to find the postman standing there when, whoops, his towel dropped.
The postman got such a shock that he ran out into the street and, thud, was hit by a 4x4.
The moral of the story?
NEVER CROSS THE ROAD WHEN THE RED MAN IS FLASHING.
- Thanks to our niece, Becky Boo (13)


An English professor was trying to make extra money by selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. At his next scheduled stop, he knocked at a door which was promptly opened by a little girl.
"Young lady, may I please have a word with your mother?" he asked.
"Nah, she ain't home," she replied.
Taken aback, the man scolded the little girl "Where is your grammar?"
"She's upstairs taking a bath."
- Thanks to Tom on FB.


Remember: Dogs and cats are better than children because they ....
  1. Eat less
  2. Usually come when called
  3. Are easier to train
  4. Don't ask for money all the time
  5. Don't drink or smoke
  6. Don't hang out with annoying friends
  7. Never ask to drive the car
  8. Don't have to have the latest fashions
  9. Don't want to wear your clothes
  10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
  11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. - Thanks Naida on FB.


Also sharing jokes with us are the following bloggers. Please be sure to drop by to share the jokes that are tickling their funny bones.


PS Please be sure to stop by tomorrow for more jokes yet to be added.

20 comments:

Kelly said...

What a great bunch of jokes!!! This is fun and I'm glad you decided to round everyone up to participate. :)

Betty Manousos said...

haha, i just need to say that all of these are hilariously hilarious!

xx

Tomz said...

Hello Tracy,

That was a nice idea to collect and post some funny stuff. And also thanking you for mentioning my name, and posting the joke I shared from grammarly.

Here is my favorite joke. This is about Sherlock Holmes and watson.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal and a bottle of Petrie wine, they retire to their tent for the night.

At about 3 AM, Holmes nudges Watson and asks, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions of stars."

Holmes asks, "And, what does that tell you?"

Watson replies, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Horologically, it tells me that it's about 3 AM. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes retorts, "Someone stole our tent."

chitra said...

ROFL:)) shall be here. I love to read jokes..still laughing..

Nikki-ann said...

LOL Brilliant! I've always got a smile on my face after a visit to your blog! :)

Suko said...

Thank you for the fantastic, funny jokes! I wish I had a good one to contribute. I think the idea of International Joke Day is wonderful--no joke! :)

Arti said...

Hahahaha! Its always so good to start your day with a hearty laugh, drowns almost everything down! I get my daily dose of chuckle from the Hobbes and Calvin comic strip in the newspaper everyday. Totally hilarious.

Sorry Tracy, that expedia thing saw a bit of an unexpected delay to what was expected. Will notify you when they start posting.

Sridharan said...

Very nice collection of Jokes.. Thanks for sharing..

Kalyan said...

Lol...lol...those were real hilarious...nice ones.

naida said...

ha! these are some good ones :P Thanks for sharing!

John McElveen said...

Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL and LMBO!!

I'm posting mine.

J

http://fullonforward.blogspot.com/

Heather said...

thanks for all the laughs on this wonderful Canada Day.

joan said...

great laughs, thanks, especially the one by tom can just imagine my 12 year old grandaughter sayin that

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

LOL.

Short Poems said...

Beautiful collection of Jokes, love them
Thanks for sharing it with us :)
All the best
Marinela

Dizzy C said...

The wedding video joke is my favourite. :)

carol

R. Ramesh said...

tracy tracyyy...haha..thanks a tonne for sharing..coz..my colleague here is a pretty girl named Jenny ..i was sharing the joke and v were all having a hearty laugh..plz lets have more of these to keep our days cheerful...

GMR said...

Haha HA haha HA! That's for the smiles guys...and happy belated joke day!

Fairday Morrow said...

Funny jokes! I had no idea there was an international joke day. I especially loved
the first two and laughed our loud! Also- the one about Watson was hilarious. Thanks
for putting a smile on my face.
:)
~Jess

Alexia561 said...

Thanks for sharing so many funny jokes! My favorite was the wedding video, as it sounds like something a husband would say! Of course, then we could smack him with a big frying pan! ;)