CAUTION! MAY CONTAIN STORIES OF PERIL.

Ouch!!!!!!!


A pensioner needed help from firefighters to remove a sex aid that had become stuck on a delicate area.
The 69-year-old battled for 36 hours to free himself from the ring-shaped object and eventually went to Fairfield Hospital in Bury to seek assistance.
He was transferred to North Manchester General Hospital, but surgeons there were also unable to work out what to do.
At that point, doctors decided to call in the fire brigade (who also presumably had a good laugh).
A crew from the Blackley station attended and, after carefully assessing the situation, concluded it would be possible to remove the sex aid using a precision cutting tool. More


Who said vegetables were good for you? .......


Pumpkins, turnips and swedes have been revealed as the most dangerous vegetables. 

A survey found two-thirds of injuries in the kitchen come from preparing fresh vegetables like squash and turnip that are too difficult to cut.

Almost a quarter said pumpkins were the toughest vegetable to skin and chop while a fifth said swedes were the most dangerous. More

Armed and dangerous?

More than 100 police were involved in a 19 hour stand-off with a man who was armed ......... with a bottle of Cillit Bang cleaner.

Armed police ringed Richard Jablonski’s home after reports he was holding a gun.

But when they raided the property in Stoke they found Jablonski, 38, was holding a bottle of the popular cleaning fluid.

(And what made me really laugh) Jablonski was charged with possession of an imitation firearm. More


A nasty case of concussion.


A retired teacher is suffering from concussion after being hit between the eyes ........ by an exploding champagne bottle.
Wendy Birch was briefly knocked out by the heavy base of the bottle which became a flying missile after blowing when it fell to the floor from another customer's basket in a Tesco store. More


Now that was a wheelie silly idea ........


It was a joke that fell flat literally.
When comedian Bob Slayer asked a music festival audience to help him crowd-surf (the art of being passed in a prone position over the heads of the audience at a rock concert, typically after having jumped from the stage) in a wheelie-bin, he wasn't counting on what happened next.
Bob's prank took a turn for the worse when the bin tipped over and broke his neck. More