... by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.
The world's smallest Egyptian tortoises go on display in the UK. The critically endangered Egyptian tortoises are the world’s smallest and weigh just 3g (0.1oz).
They were born at Marwell Wildlife, near Winchester, Hampshire and are currently just over a week old.*More
OR even more cute?
A tiny mouse peeks out from wheat stalks then clambers on to a twig and swings by its tail. Just 2in long and weighing less than a 2p piece, it’s Britain’s smallest rodent. And despite the big eyes it can barely see. But it does have excellent hearing — so it doesn’t need to ask pals to squeak up. More
'Smurfed' the internet lately? These colourful characters are proving an online hit.
Scores of Hartlepool United fans dressed as the comic strip characters on an away-day trip to London have become an online sensation The supporters – in white overalls, blue tops, white beards, blue faces and white hats – travelled down for their side’s final match of the season against Charlton. More
And more from the wonderful world of footie .......
It would be enough to confuse even the most experienced of commentators - a game of football where every player shares the same surname. In fact not only did all 22 players have the surname ‘Bungay’, so did the referee, linesmen and substitutes. The charity match, played in - where else? - the town of Bungay, Suffolk, was the brainchild of Shaun Cole, 51, who works for Bungay Town FC. He sent invitations to people called Bungay living in Britain and even Australia and America. More
Bicycle powered tv?
Guests in the 'Standing Hat' room at Cottage Lodge in the village of Brockenhurst, can now keep fit, watch their favourite programmes, and do their bit for the environment using bicycle-powered technology.
The room also features low-energy lighting, solar panels and a wood-burning stove to produce hot water, and a low-flow toilet and shower to reduce water use.More
My favourite article of the week?
Endless roadworks have driven a resident to change a 'men at work' road sign into one showing a contractor sitting down having a drink and smoking. Residents in Melksham, Wilts, have endured months of delays around the town because of ongoing engineering. The good-humoured ’artist’ has redone the sign to let contractors know what locals think. More
One of those articles that had me asking ....... and we need to know this because?
The question of whether donkeys are stubborn or simply 'misunderstood' has been discussed at a conference held by a leading British university.
Donkeys and mules have been associated with stubbornness since before Christ after being labelled as 'stupid, servile and stubborn' by Ancient Greek writers Homer and Aesop. More
A 'veggie' shark, really?
A shark called Florence living in Birmingham has given up eating fish - for vegetables.
She is snubbing fish and octopus at her aquarium — to get her Jaws on lettuceand cucumber. More
* Like tortoises? If you haven't already seen them click HERE for my tortoise jokes.