LYING BACK AND THINKING OF ENGLAND.

THE GUARDIAN

(26/01/2011).

Remember last week my telling you about PRINCE SUMMERFIELD, the 5ft 8in (1.76m), 10 stone (63.5kg) schoolboy suspended from school as the head teacher had his suspicions about the 'boy's' age? Well ........

Those suspicions were laid to rest as the head teacher of the 14-year-old's school admitted that he had made a mistake by excluding him because he thought the boy was actually 24.

While most people consider one education enough, there is at least one example of an adult masquerading as a schoolboy. In 1994, a 32-year-old man spent a year at a school in Scotland posing as a 17-year-old pupil. - Jeevan Vasagar. (READ MORE)

I know I promised not to mention the royal wedding again but I thought this worthy of a mention.

ROYAL WEDDING ART. It may be three months away, but the art world is getting its responses in early.

 Last week, female students from the Royal College of Art dressed up in the now-infamous blue wrap-style dress Kate Middleton wore to announce her betrothal, lined up outside Buckingham Palace, and, ring fingers extended, would say only the following to curious passers-by: "I'm Kate. It's wonderful to meet you. I'm very excited about the wedding.

And in February, Jennifer Rubell's Engagement, a life-size sculpture of Prince William, will be unveiled. Spectators can link arms with it, Middleton-style, and imitate their engagement pose. "The royal wedding is a Prince Charming fantasy that still seems to speak to women," she says. "So I wanted to offer those women a chance to stand in Kate's place. I hope it's not just women who step up, though."  - Rosie Swash.

THE CHRONICLE

(27/01/2011).

Yes, we also had a sock hungry monster living in our washing machine.

Families in the North East (of England) are more likely to lose their socks in the washing machine compared to any other part of the UK, a survey has revealed.

The questionnaire of 1,500 people revealed missing socks are most likely to affect men, and that northerners are top of the list as the most likely victims of sock disappearances, with 67% of households reporting they lose up to 15 socks a year. (Can any of you beat that number?)

With Valentines Day only a fortnight or so away, how's this for a romantic story.

HUNT FOR SOLDIER WHO PROPOSED ON VOICEMAIL. The Ministry of Defence was today due to contact units in Afghanistan in a bid to trace the mystery squaddie who left a voicemail proposing to his girlfriend on a Tyneside woman’s phone.

The hunt is on for the pregnant girlfriend of the British soldier who has no idea that her partner wants to marry her because he dialled the wrong number.

In the heartrending answerphone message (which can be heard by clicking on the above link), the soldier, thought to be calling from Afghanistan, tells his girlfriend Samantha how much he loves her and their unborn child, before finally proposing marriage but the 90-second call was received by 44-year-old mother-of-three Diane Potts, from Whickham, Gateshead, not the mystery Samantha. -Sophie Doughty.

THE TELEGRAPH.

(29/01/2011).

How's this for a welcome?

Passengers arriving at Manchester Airport are to be greeted by holograms of staff in an attempt to reduce queues. The images of actual employees will explain liquid restrictions and remind passengers to have their boarding passes ready.

Staff member Julie Capper alongside her hologram.

THE SUN.

(19/01/2011).

I started with the royal wedding and so I'll finish with it with ........

ROYAL CONDOMS. Yes, you read right ... to, err, commemorate the wedding of the year Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction have produced a souvenir condom which .....

Slammed as tasteless by royal commemtators, urges uses to 'Lie back and think of England'.

PLEASE NOTE - I Will always endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.

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