(Thanks to Husband dearest for the link to this one.)
Not very often that I include sports news much less use the 'f' word - don't worry I'm not about to swear, I'm talking football - I simply had to mention this.
The manager of a Cornish village football team has admitted that his side are 'probably the worst team in Britain' after they lost 11 games on the trot, conceded 227 goals, including a 55-0 thrashing. - Stephen Morris, the Guardian. (30/11/2010)
And so onto the offerings in Saturday's DailyTelegraph.
Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill, I think that most of you will agree that the reactions of the next three people may have been ever so slightly OTT.
A husband installed a home-made device similar to a police taser gun on his front door to deter a neighbour from having an affair with his wife.
Alan Fletcher, 51, booby-trapped his house with circuit boards and electrodes capable of zapping anyone who crossed his front door. (READ FULL STORY)
A man's house was flooded after workers used a ..... water jet to blast out an alarm clock stuck in a pipe.
And my favourite .....
A woman rang 999 (emergency services) to report the theft of a snowman.
The woman said she thought she should report it because she had used pound coins (whatever happened to using coal or currants?) for the eyes and teaspoons for the arms.
The woman began: "There's been a theft from outside my house. I haven't been out to check on him for five hours but I went outside for a smoke and he's gone."
The operator asked "Who's gone?" and the woman replied "My snowman. I thought that with it being icy and there not being anybody about, he'd be safe."
The operator asked her: "Do you mean an ornament?" The woman replied: "No, a snowman made of snow, I made hm myself. It ain't a nice road but you don't expect anybody to nick your snowman."
(Very funny on the face of it but as Chief Inspector Simon Black pointed out) "This call could have cost someones life if there was a genuine emergency and they couldn't get through."
And to end with, two short animal stories.
A 15-stone pot-belled pig was wrestled to a standstill by two police community support officers after going on the run.
An Australian has taken the notion that a man's best friend is his dog to a new level by marrying his pet.
Mr Guiso said in his vows "You're my best friend and make every part of my day better"
A video of a drunken, hallucinating Russian squirrel (click HERE to view) , has become an Internet hit.
The animated 'demon squirrel' clip, a warning about the effects of alcohol and vodka in particular, has been viewed more than a million times. (How I wish I knew just what said squirrel was saying.)