HOW TO SURVIVE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK SILLY WHILE DANCING WITH THE GERMAN MAFIA AT A BAVARIAN NIGHTCLUB AND OTHER LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TIPS.

 

HOW TO SURVIVE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK SILLY WHILE DANCING WITH THE GERMAN MAFIA AT A BAVARIAN NIGHTCLUB AND OTHER LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TIPS by SIMON YEATES.

Genre ... Humour, Memoir, Travel

Publication Date ... 28th December 2023

Estimated Page Count ... 252

Standalone third book in a 3 part series

Purchase Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/

The best has been saved to last. Book 3 of a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as Cholera in the 1850s.

From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to rupture a disc or succumb to Dengue fever.

With previous titles, How To Start A Riot In A Brothel In Thailand By Ordering A Beer And Other Lesser Known Travel Tips and How To Avoid Getting Mugged In Rio De Janeiro By Singing Songs By The Police And Other Lesser Known Travel Tips , it was only to be expected that this, the third book in the series, would have an equally long and impressive title ... and, at 23 words long, it did not fail.

You could be forgiven that after three such books these anecdotes might have become a bit, well, tired but in fact, another destination, another adventure, I feel like they have a lot of, err, mileage {Sorry, I couldn't resist; travel memoir, mileage, get it? No? Maybe not} in them yet which is why, reputedly the last of his travel memoirs, I can only hope that Yeates gets to go on many more adventures in order to write another one.

But as it is ...

Quite possibly the funniest of the three books, not least because as someone who needs crutches themselves I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I pictured Yeates' sister {quite possibly the funniest character we are introduced to} dragging him sightseeing across a town in Bulgaria whilst he himself was on crutches.

In short, whether it be showing the German mafia some classic moves on the dancefloor, Chinese women of, emm, a certain age, standing, yelling at an airport's customer service desk or a Greek market seller who swears by olive oil as a cure all {and that's only in this book}, you have to give it to the author he has some wonderful travel tales to tell and he tells them in such a way that you cannot help but laugh.

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

Social Media ... https://www.instagram.com/authoryeats/?hl=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@authoryeats

With thanks to Rachel of Rachel's Random Resources for organising a paper copy. One of several bloggers participating in the Blog Tour of this book, agree or disagree with me, all opinions are my own; no financial compensation was asked for nor given; threats of violence towards my favourite teddy bear went unheeded as did promises of chocolate.

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THE NEVER LIST.

THE NEVER LIST by KOETHI ZAN.

There were four of us down there for the first thirty-two months and eleven days of our captivity. And then, very suddenly and without warning, there were three. Even though the fourth person hadn't made any noise at all in several months, the room got very quiet when she was gone. For a long time after that, we sat in silence, in the dark, each of us wondering what this meant for her and for us, and which of us would be the next in the box.

NEVER GET IN THE CAR

For years, best friends Sarah and Jennifer kept what they called the 'Never List': a list of actions to be avoided, for safety's sake, at all costs. But one night, they failed to follow their own rules.

NEVER GO OUT ALONE AFTER DARK

Sarah has spent ten years trying to forget her ordeal. But now the FBI has news that forces her to confront her to revisit her memories, and finally attempt to find justice for Jennifer.

NEVER TAKE RISKS

If she is to keep her captor behind bars, Sarah needs to work with the other women who shared her nightmare. But they won't be happy to hear from her. Because down there in the dark, Sarah wasn't just a victim.

NEVER TRUST ANYONE
...... Press release.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): There were four of us down there for the first thirty-two months and eleven days of our captivity.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 84): On a good day, he simply did what he wanted with your body. And you could bite your lip or scream or do what you needed to bear the pain and humiliation.
On a bad day, he talked.

MY THOUGHTS: Though with flashbacks to events that occurred ten years previously, The Never List, initially conceived by childhood friends and soon-to-be victims as a list of actions to ensure their safety, essentially follows one woman (Caroline/Sarah) and, to a lesser degree, her two fellow victims (Tracy and Christine/Charlotte) in their search for not only the answers to what became of fellow captive, Jennifer, but also closure in what should have been a dark and menacing read with a great psychological twist. 

Unfortunately neither dark nor menacing and lacking in any real psychological (or other convincing) twists, at best this is an OK read but only if you can suspend belief, get past just how increasingly incredulous the story becomes and not dwell too much on the highly improbable actions of the characters. 

A great concept which raises some very topical issues (the sex trade, the role of the internet, when does a religion become a cult to name but a few), an interesting exploration of how, as very different people, the women cope, of just what the human spirit is capable of in order to survive, it's just a shame that it never seems to do so in any great depth thus never realising its true potential.

Published in Issue 76 of NewBooks magazine.

Disclaimers:- 
#1: Removal of any part of this post without my express consent is considered copyright infringement. This post was created by and for Petty Witter @ Pen and Paper. If you are reading this post on any other site please contact the original blog owner/reviewer.
#2: A paperback proof copy, The Never List will not be published until the 18th of July 2013, read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine. I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.

FLAVIA DE LUCE MYSTERY #5: SPEAKING FROM AMONG THE BONES:

FLAVIA DE LUCE MYSTERY #5: SPEAKING FROM AMONG THE BONES by ALAN BRADLEY. 

It is almost Easter in Bishop's Lacey, and the villagers are holding their collective breath as the tomb of St Tancred in the church that bears his name is about to be opened after five hundred years. And as luck would have it, it's inveterate eleven-year-old sleuth Flavia de Luce who is first at the scene. But the body she finds lying there is clearly not that of a desiccated saint. For a start there's the pool of fresh blood, and then there's the gasmask, from under which an unmistakeable shock of golden hair identifies the corpse as that of Mr Collicutt, St Tancred's celebrated organist. Despite her tender years, Flavia is no stranger to murder - but even she is baffled by the peculiar circumstances of Collicutt's death. Especially when soon after, an effigy of St Tancred appears to be weeping blood onto the church floor. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, Flavia soon finds herself exploring a secret maze of underground passages beneath the church - and is drawn into the equally dark and fetid world of one of Bishop's Lacey's most peculiar families.
...... Amazon book description.

FIRST SENTENCE: A uncorrected proof copy, I have been asked not to use any quotes. PW

MEMORABLE MOMENT: As above. PW

MY THOUGHTS: Having only ever read part 1, The Sweetness At The Bottom Of The Pie  (see my review HERE) I was delighted to receive a copy of this the fifth book in the series. 

Every bit as good as part 1 as far as the crime element was concerned, it was however our increasingly endearing and, at the same time, equally infuriating (not to mention grown-up) heroine and her relationship with the elderly Dogger that made this such an enjoyable read for me.

Surprised by the events that occur just as Tancred the local saint's bones are about to be disinterred Speaking From Among the Bones beautifully combines all of the mysteries (a gas mask wearing corpse, secret underground tunnels, weeping statues) that I expected of this series along with all of the emotional angst and emotion of a not quite 12 year old 'detective'. Be warned though this ends with a considerable cliffhanger which if you are anything like me will have you longing for the next instalment. 

Published in Issue 75 of NewBooks magazine.

Disclaimers #1 :Removal of any part of this post without my express consent is considered copyright infringement. This post was created by and for Petty Witter @ Pen and Paper. If you are reading this post on any other site please contact the original blog owner/reviewer.
#2 An uncorrected Proof copy (The paperback edition of Speaking From Among the Bones will not be published until March 28th 2013 ) read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine. I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.

HUBBLE BUBBLE.

HUBBLE BUBBLE by Jane Lovering.


Be careful what you wish for......

Holly Grey only took up witchery to keep her friend out of trouble - and now she's knee-deep in hassle, in the form of apocalyptic weather, armed men, midwifery .... and a sarcastic Welsh journalist.

Kai has been drawn to darkest Yorkshire by his desire to find out who he really is. What he hadn't bargained on was getting caught up in amateur magic and dealing with a bunch of women who are trying really hard to make their dreams come true.

Together they realise that getting what you wish for is sometimes just a matter of knowing what it is you want ....
..... Inner sheet.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): The fridge had definitely exploded.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 30): "Make it a good one. I mean, no eye of newt stuff, I want a girlfriend not an amphibian."

MY THOUGHTS: A 'busy' book combining elements of an almost fairytale nature with a love story (in fact several 'love' stories of a sort) and, in the broadest sense of the definition, a crime thriller, I found Hubble Bubble to be one of those books in which all of the aspects of the novel, characters, barring one, perhaps two, included, were fair to middling with nothing in particular to recommend any of them and yet, billed as contemporary fiction, it is a light, enjoyable enough read. Be warned though, if like me, you were expecting a story of modern day witches, you may well find yourself disappointed as for the large part this definitely leans firmly towards the chick-lit end of the scale. 

Published in Issue 75 of NewBooks magazine.

Disclaimers #1 :Removal of any part of this post without my express consent is considered copyright infringement. This post was created by and for Petty Witter @ Pen and Paper. If you are reading this post on any other site please contact the original blog owner/reviewer.
#2 An uncorrected Proof Manuscript (Hubble Bubble will not be published June 2013) read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine. I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.

ME, SUZY P.

ME, SUZY P by KAREN SAUNDERS.

I'm Suzy Puttock (yes, Puttock with a P). Fourteen years old and a complete disaster magnet.

My life's full of ups and downs. My loved-up big sister Amber's getting married and wants lime-green bridesmaids dresses. I'm not happy about that.

But there's this hot new guy, Zach, just started at my school. I am happy about that.

Only ...... I've had a boyfriend since forever. Danny. So now I'm all kinds of confused.
....... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): Oh no, oh no, oh no ..... I can't believe I'm so late.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 32): When we finally make it to the top floor, we appear to have arrived in a parallel universe - a universe where a small child has run amok with glitter, lace and frills. In front of me there's a sea of white froth, silvery tiaras and bridesmaids' dresses in every pastel colour imaginable. 
It's like a Barbie factory spewed up in here.

MY THOUGHTS: One of my favourite reads of 2012. Despite being aimed at a much, much younger audience there is just so much I related to within the pages of this novel - first love, embarrassing parents, horrendous little sisters-  it was almost as if much of my teen life was laid bare.

Yes, there are those books that are so awe-inspiring as to be life changing and then there's Me, Suzy P that though hardly earth-shattering is an immensely enjoyable, fun-filled read. 

All about the life, loves, family and friends of 14-year-old Suzy Puttock whilst this is a very modern story of a young woman trying to find herself - often with hilarious and toe-curling embarrassing results - this will undoubtedly resonate with all those who remember the joys (and pains) of their own adolescence. 

And though primarily one for girlies (aged 10 and up) just as Suzy's exploits took me back to my 14-year-old self I'm sure that any boys who happen upon this novel will find much of them selves in the form of Danny, Jamie and Zach. 

Published in NewBooks magazine, issue number 73.

NB: Though not published until January 2013 Me, Suzy P is available to pre-order at Amazon now.

DISCLAIMER: An uncorrected proof copy read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.   

THE COOK

THE COOK by WAYNE MACAULEY.

At 17 Zac is given a choice: either go to a young offenders' institute, or enrol in a rehabilitation scheme - a course that teaches juveniles how to cook. He makes his choice. He chooses to cook. He also chooses to succeed. Whatever it takes.
...... Outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: So here I am and no going back.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 86): Peasant food is for peasants cooked by peasants a peasant's what you were before surely it's not what you want to be?

MY THOUGHTS: The story of one young man's determination and almost obsessive desire to succeed no matter what the cost, I found The Cook an interesting, if not always enjoyable or easy, read. 

Given the current debate on organic foods and the fact that many children know little of how the food they eat is produced this was a topical and timely read though as a non-meat eater I found much of it a little too graphic. 

Written in the first person by main character, Zac, a young man of limited education. At first it took a bit of getting used to the fact that the narrative was lacking in punctuation, the sentences running one into another, until eventually I ceased to even notice this was the case. 

Meticulously researched and wonderfully well written, the subtle build up of tension leading to the surprising and totally shocking ending was a remarkable piece of writing that made this a book well worth persevering with what I found to be an otherwise uncomfortable read. 

Published in issue number 73 of NewBooks magazine.

An Uncorrected Proof copy, The Cook is published on the 8th of November 2012 though it it available to pre-order on Amazon now.

DISCLAIMER: Read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.  

THE INCIDENT.

THE INCIDENT by KENNETH MACLEOD.

Craig was a young lifeguard in Germany when two children died on his watch. It should never have happened. He was an expert swimmer. His grandfather, Gordon, was on board a ship torpedoed during World War II. He survived by clinging to the floating body of a colleague. Years later, he met one of the men who attacked his ship. Gerd is a refugee of the Cold War. Recruited by the Stasi as a teenager, he escaped to the West after his mission went terribly wrong. He never went back.
..... Inner front cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (Part 1): It was my grandfather who taught me to swim.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 173): Because regardless of whether they'd succumbed to years of propaganda and convinced themselves it was the right thing to do, or whether they were simply scared, the end result was the same. Betrayal.

MY THOUGHTS: Much as I enjoyed this debut novel, with it's almost exclusive male cast, its at times overuse of crude language and the rather graphic nature of 'Gerd's story' I can't help but think that this might be a novel more enjoyed by men.

The story of three men all with their own harrowing story to tell, ultimately, all three stories tell of how one moment in time can change a life forever. 

A bit disappointing that so little attention was paid to 'The Incident' whilst so much was given over to minute detail, I did feel that at times the author went into over-drive with his descriptions. 

Character wise:- Though I didn't at the beginning like Craig and his friend/ colleague, Gerd, I thought them well-written and, all credit to the author, by the end of the book I had some empathy with Craig and a certain amount of respect for Gerd whose story I felt to be the most compelling even if it didn't somehow fit in as cohesively as Craig's grandfather's story.

In many ways quite philosophical in nature, though I didn't always find this an easy read, I did find it an interesting, compelling and original one. 

Published in issue number 74 of NewBooks magazine.

DISCLAIMER: Read and reviewed on behalf of NEWBOOKS magazine I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.