2 Jul 2015

I SAY, I SAY, I SAY .....

How did I forget that yesterday (July 1st) was ....

International Joke Day?

No I don't know either but in order to honour the day I'd like to share some of the jokes I shared with Big-Brother-In-Law-Terry who has recently been off work recovering from an operation.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
'Oh my God, breathe.'

'Doctor, doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out my bottom.'
'I'm sorry to tell you sir but this is only the tip of the iceberg.'

'Doctor, doctor. You have to help me. For the last ten years my brother has believed he's a chicken.'
'Ten years? For goodness sake why didn't you say so before now?'
'We needed the eggs!'

A termite walks into a bar and asks 'Is the bar tender here?'

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?
Its not my fault.

A lorry carrying terrapins crashed. It was a turtle disaster.

I went to the dentist who sat me in a chair and said 'Say ahhh.'
I asked why to which he replied 'My dog has just died.'

Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
Because it kept saying 'Bach, Bach, Bach.'

A belated happy international joke day to you all. Please feel free to share your jokes.


Barbara Fisher said...

A belated happy international joke day to you too (I had no idea there was such a thing!) I loved your jokes, especially the one about the green and red grapes. I really must try to remember that one.

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but she only has her shelf to blame. Terrible I know…but you did ask!

Tracy Terry said...

Funnily enough Barbara the grape joke is the only one of my jokes that my bro-in-law appreciated - and it even made Mr T laugh (well sort of laugh).

Loving your joke. Especially apt given your love of books.

Anilkumar Kurup said...

Ha ha kudos.

Natasha Hill said...

As a geographer that earthquake joke is brilliant - I am sending it to my friend it made me giggle so much! Love this - Tasha

Sherry Ellis said...

Those are cute!

Kelly said...

Well I know I'm easily amused, but I found almost all your jokes funny. I'm glad you remembered the holiday. It's never too late for a good joke or pun.

I think I've already shared all my favorites with you in the past.

Romance Reader said...

Hehehe...fun! Had a good chuckle!

Literary Feline said...

Thank you for the laughs. :-) I shared the jokes with my coworkers.

Gina R said...

Still rolling from those! Favorites would be the termite one and the chicken. Bach! '-' Thanks for the smile!

Alexia561 said...

Can't believe I haven't heard any of these before! Thanks for the chuckle! :)

John McElveen said...

OUCH!!! I loved them!


Claudine G. said...

So good to get a laugh today! Thanks for the jokes. I especially like the Bach, the brother believing he's a chicken, and the grapes one. And Barbara's!

Brian Joseph said...

Happy belated international joke day Terry!

Your jokes were very funny.

I have so much trouble remembering jokes so I envy you folks who are able to tell them off the cuff.

kimbacaffeinate said...

Bwahaha...some of these are hilarious, but I even enjoy the eye-rolling ones.

Lindsay said...

These are brilliant Tracy, thank you for making me laugh. I can never remember jokes, I wish I could when I hear a brilliant one.