29 Jun 2015

THE 'CRIMES' THAT 'TAKE THE BISCUIT'.

WARNING: Whilst I endeavour to keep Monday Media family friendly I feel it only right to point out that some of the newspapers featured do have links to articles of a more adult nature. TT 

Taking the biscuit: An ironic twist of 'To surpass everything else that has happened; to be worse than anything. IE: His last comment really took the biscuit. - Random Sayings

Jammie DodgersPolice are hunting thieves who stole £20,000 worth of biscuits from the South Wales factory that manufactures Jammy Dodgers.

Favourite headlines of the week ...

Biscuit-throwing incident recorded as violent crime.

A pair of burglars nearly froze after locking themselves in a freezer during a police raid on a Brighton Chinese restaurant. 

One of Britain's leading pianists has been forced to pull out of a concert after being dive-bombed by an angry seagull left him with a sprained finger.

Humberside police have revealed that they had received a phone call from a woman who was so shocked with her haircut she was refusing to pay and had called them to seek legal advice.

Most Politically Incorrect (but funniest?) article of the week ...

An angry dwarf who impersonated a Dalek by sticking a sucker dart to his head and threatened to 'exterminate' two carers was tasered by Hull police who 'feared for their welfare'.

And finally in the news from Europe ...

Having banned the sale of erotic literature before 10pm or after 6am in 2002 the German government have expanded the ban making it illegal to sell erotic e-books before 10pm.


11 comments:

Gina R said...

Those must have been some pretty tasty biscuits! ^-^

Yvonne@fiction-books said...

Hi Tracy,

I like just about all the biscuits mentioned in the article about the Burton's robbery, although I'm not sure I could have eaten a lorry load before they went out of date ... I would have given it a good shot though :)

Your article about the Dalek impersonating dwarf, brought to mind an incident from many years ago. We used to visit with and babysit our godchildren quite often and hubbie used to put himself in charge of the entertainment department. One day he took it in his head to stick one of the lad's sucker darts on his forehead and yes .. you guessed it .. impersonate a Dalek. The playtime was a great success, until hubbie tried to remove the sucker, only to be left with a very large circular bruise, right in the middle of his forehead. Ordinarily this wouldn't have been a major issue, if he hadn't had an important speech to make at an international sales conference, in front of his US employers, the following day. Not one to be too flummoxed for long, hubbie recounted the story before cracking on with his presentation and took all the flack and jokes which were played on him and at his expense, for some considerable time afterwards :)

Thanks for sharing and try to stay cool in this horrid, humid weather!

Yvonne

Kelly said...

Some of those "violent crime" reports border on the ridiculous. Then again, I'm not always accepting of PCness or certain instances of "zero tolerance".

Don't you have issues with birds resulting from something in your childhood? I'm surprised you were able to share that seagull story with us. ;)

Tracy Terry said...

Loving your story Yvonne. Similar happened to Mr T but it involved face paints and 'cowboy and indians'. Too long a story to tell here I'll have to share it with you all one day.

Yes, Kelly. I do have a phobia of birds but only when they are flying. Another story I'll share on my blog some time.

Sherry Ellis said...

I laughed at the freezer thieves. Just brilliant!

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Oh fun stories! that's interesting about the selling of erotic e-books in Germany. haha

-Lauren

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

I'm actually curious about that haircut! LOL

Brandi Kosiner said...

That is quite a lot of bread. Seems like it would be hard to get away

Literary Feline said...

I'm wondering how well the implementation of the extension to include erotic e-books by the German government will go. Hmm.

The biscuit stories were hilarious. :-)

Brian Joseph said...

Great set of stories this week Terry.

Impersonating a Dalek is among the most heinous of crimes.

As for the seagull attack, I know someone who was supposedly knocked down by a goose and who subsequently broke her wrist.

Alexia561 said...

Loved the story about the stolen biscuits, as Jammie Dodgers are pretty good! And I've been tempted to call the police a time or two after a bad haircut! Thank goodness my hair grows quickly! Thanks for the laughs!