24 Dec 2013

FATHER CHRISTMAS BREAKS WITH TRADITION.

 Dear Friends,

I know it has become something of a tradition for me to post my Christmas message on Boxing Day but this year I thought it would make a nice change for me to post something on Christmas Eve before I set off on my journey around the world and given how bad some of the so-called jokes in Christmas crackers are I'm so pleased I did.

Relaxing after the Christmas rush last year, Mother Christmas and I sat down to beans on toast. Well, can you blame us? To be honest if I never see another mince pie, cookie, glass of sherry/milk again I'll be just as happy. And as for the reindeer and all those carrots. Least said but let me tell you cleaning their stalls out after they have eaten their body weight in them is hardly fun. Still, I suppose that's what the elves are for.

Anyway, back to Christmas cracker jokes. Hardly funny are they? Which is why I've selected a few of my own which I hope you like.

  Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on Ebay?
They were too deer.

    Mary and Joseph? Talk about a couple in a stable relationship.

    How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 9oz when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger.

    Why is it getting harder to buy advent calendars?
There days are numbered.

    How many letters are there in an angel's alphabet?
24. There is 'no EL'. 

    What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby.
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

    How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer, Olive?
You know 'Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names'.


Happy holidays and remember I know whether you've been naughty or nice,


The Terry's Alternative Christmas Tree.
Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

15 comments:

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Merry Christmas! And as for the naughty/nice... I can explain and lets forget about most of the year, shall we? :D

Thanks for the smile!

Alexia561 said...

Dear Father Christmas - Don't quit your day job. Those jokes were.... well, not good. But I love you anyways.

Love the Terry's Alternative Christmas Tree! And the train is too cute for words!

Happy Christmas everyone!

Suko said...

Great jokes, Tracy, all new to me! Your alternative tree is grand. Wishing you a wonderful Christmas!

Arti said...

Thanks for my 'Ho Ho Ho', Tracy! And I love your Christmas tree - it is SO beautiful! Wish you and yours Merry Christmas and lots of happiness and joy in the coming year.

Mary (Bookfan) said...

Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

chitra said...

Merry Xmas. have a nice time:)

Betty Manousos said...

merry xmas!

lots of love
xx

Kelly said...

I really like your alternative tree!

Hoping the holidays have been wonderful for you and your family.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Merry Christmas! Love the jokes. :)

Camila Rafaela Felippi said...

Hello! Beautiful tree... I love Christmas decoration! And nice jokes :b

Merry Christmaaas! :D

Brian Joseph said...

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Kimberly @ On the Wings of Books said...

I hope you had a great Christmas!

Loved all the jokes :)

marinela said...

Beautiful.... I love Christmas decoration x

Merry Xmas. have a nice time :)

Stephanie@Fairday's Blog said...

I hope you had a Merry Christmas! I love your alternative tree! Adorable. :)

The cracker jokes are ones my nephew would enjoy!

Naida said...

I like your Alternative Christmas Tree Tracy and fun jokes :)