A disaster in the kitchen as many of you already know. I wouldn't go as far as to say I could burn water BUT it isn't for nothing the ma-in-law bought me a cup bearing the legend .....
and a coaster stating ......
But did I ever tell you about the day I set fire to the microwave?
I thought not.
As newly weds our only means of cooking was a microwave that we had been given as a wedding present and whilst I had got fairly handy at 'cooking' ready meals about the only thing I'd ever actually made from scratch was .....
Drum roll if you please ....
That is until the fateful Sunday when disaster struck.
Now I don't know quite what happened, I may have mistimed the amount of time it took to cook the darned thing (40 minutes instead of 4, not that I'm admitting anything of course) or maybes I pricked/didn't prick (I never remember which you are supposed to do) the potato (tatty as we call them here in Newcastle) with a fork (again I'm not holding my hands up to anything) OR, as I still swear to this day, it was a machine malfunction, BUT the end result was, yeah, I set the microwave on fire.
What to do, what to do?
Hmm, water and electricity? Never a good combination. Throw it out of the window? Probably not the best idea - we're in an upstairs flat, supposing our downstairs neighbour came out? Could I live with myself if they were to be killed by a falling microwave oven?
I know, first things first, I'll switch the darn thing off at the switch ..... yeah, good thinking.
But wait a minute - supposing I electrocute myself? I've always wanted curly hair but this really isn't the way to achieve to. (I exaggerate a bit here as at the time I had a perm but, hey, it sounds good.)
Oh I know, aren't you suppose to earth yourself? Aren't rubber supposed to work? Yeah, more good thinking - I put on a pair of rubber gloves and stand in a plastic bowl for good measure.
Ah thank goodness. Certain doom averted, the flames naturally die down, I open a window and .....
Call the cavalry ..... OK, then, Husband dearest.
Laughter which though I hope is the type that comes with great relief I have my doubts about.
No, he just finds it funny that he finds his wife in rubber gloves, standing in a plastic bowl, the microwave looking, err, a bit worse for wear.
But do you know what the really funny thing was?
Go on, guess.
Even though the potato was totally incinerated it still maintained its shape until poked when it dissolved into nothing but a pile of ashes.
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