13 Mar 2013

THE DAY I SET FIRE TO THE MICROWAVE.

A disaster in the kitchen as many of you already know. I wouldn't go as far as to say I could burn water BUT it isn't for nothing the ma-in-law bought me a cup bearing the legend .....
and a coaster stating ......

But did I ever tell you about the day I set fire to the microwave?

I thought not.

As newly weds our only means of cooking was a microwave that we had been given as a wedding present and whilst I had got fairly handy at 'cooking' ready meals about the only thing I'd ever actually made from scratch was ..... 

Drum roll if you please ....

Jacket potatoes.

That is until the fateful Sunday when disaster struck.

Now I don't know quite what happened, I may have mistimed the amount of time it took to cook the darned thing (40 minutes instead of 4, not that I'm admitting anything of course) or maybes I pricked/didn't prick (I never remember which you are supposed to do) the potato (tatty as we call them here in Newcastle) with a fork (again I'm not holding my hands up to anything) OR, as I still swear to this day, it was a machine malfunction, BUT the end result was, yeah, I set the microwave on fire.

What to do, what to do?

Hmm, water and electricity? Never a good combination. Throw it out of the window? Probably not the best idea - we're in an upstairs flat, supposing our downstairs neighbour came out? Could I live with myself if they were to be killed by a falling microwave oven?

I know, first things first, I'll switch the darn thing off at the switch ..... yeah, good thinking.

But wait a minute - supposing I electrocute myself? I've always wanted curly hair but this really isn't the way to achieve to. (I exaggerate a bit here as at the time I had a perm but, hey, it sounds good.)

Oh I know, aren't you suppose to earth yourself? Aren't rubber supposed to work? Yeah, more good thinking - I put on a pair of rubber gloves and stand in a plastic bowl for good measure.

Ah thank goodness. Certain doom averted, the flames naturally die down, I open a window and ..... 

Call the cavalry ..... OK, then, Husband dearest.

His reaction?

Laughter which though I hope is the type that comes with great relief I have my doubts about.

No, he just finds it funny that he finds his wife in rubber gloves, standing in a plastic bowl, the microwave looking, err, a bit worse for wear.

But do you know what the really funny thing was?

Go on, guess.

Even though the potato was totally incinerated it still maintained its shape until poked when it dissolved into nothing but a pile of ashes.


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15 comments:

Joan Robertson said...

thanks tracy , you.ve given me my first laugh today, thanks for my birthday wishes on fb and also leaving a comment on my blog, as you may guess i'm off work this week so hence spending more time on my ipad, going in to town now to treat myself

Kelly said...

Oh my gosh, Tracy.....this is SO funny!! The stories we tell on ourselves are always the best!

Jean said...

I for one HAVE managed to burn water. I put a kettle on for tea and forgot about it. That was one kettle that would never be usable again.

I'm unsure if I destroyed any microwaves - I've arced a couple of spoons at the least.

I did set my oven on fire once...had the fire department out...it was a beautiful Easter Sunday so the entire neighborhood came out to watch.

I'm actually not a bad cook but I tend to get distracted...

It's always funny when you look back, but at the time?

Mary (Bookfan) said...

LOL, great story (and I love the coffee mug!).

Gina R said...

Wow...that IS quite the story. *-* The only thing I've set fire to was a candle once, but it sorta did it itself. There I was, BIG jar candle burning away, talking on the phone and WHOOSH! Huge flames erupt from same said candle, the wax had caught fire! Weird...course first though was water, yeah, not a good idea. Then I thought baking soda, like a grease fire...totally worked. ^-^

Cherie Reich said...

Oh my! I'm glad it wasn't much more of a disaster, although I'm not much for cooking either. Heated frozen pizza, anyone? :)

Yvonne@fiction-books said...

Hi Tracy,

Can cook, but HATE cooking is more like it in my kitchen!!

Hubbie has his very own little microwave incident, which he is never going to live down ... Deciding that he would quite like a hard boiled egg for lunch, he diligently places the egg in a jug of water and puts it carefully in the microwave .... IN ITS SHELL!!

The next thing he knows, there is a loud bang, the microwave door shoots open, the jugful of boiling water shoots arcoss the room and hits the deck and one hard boiled egg plus shell catapaults all over the kitchen in a million tiny crumbs.

Amazingly, the microwave still worked, the jug didn't smash and the egg .... well the only evidence of anything amiss was the aroma of cooked egg which hit me as soon as I opened the front door and had permeated the entire house!!

He has never admitted just how long it took him to clean up though!!

What a great post Tracy, you can always cheer up an otherwise miserable day,

Yvonne

Brandi Kosiner said...

HA! I love the toaster comment, but it is microwave for me.
Brandi @ Blkosiner’s Book Blog

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

ROFL! Loved the last bit.

Hm... I don't think we should get together and cook. The house and occupants wouldn't make it out alive. :D

Naida said...

lol Tracy! I'm sure seeing the potato bust into ashes was too funny.

I've set fire to the microwave myself. Popcorn. I misjudged the timing and when I smelled something burning I ran to the kitchen to find it full of smoke. There were flames inside the microwave, so I hit the 'off button' and opened all the windows. The flames died down, but when I opened the microwave door it was burnt yellow all inside...lol. And it was brand new!

I've also set toast on fire once at home. Again, the smell warned me. There wasn't fire in the toaster, but the bread was burnt to a crisp. So I unplugged the toaster, pulled the burnt bread out with tongs and stupidly placed it on top of my oven mitt. I left the kitchen for a moment, when I came back in the oven mitt was on FIRE because the burnt toast was so hot it sparked it. I threw water on it as I screamed my head off.
And, finally, I set the toaster oven at work on fire twice. Once with cornbread, and another time with a pop tart. The entire office smelt like smoke for a little while.

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha ha, thanks for the laugh. I can picture the potato collapsing at the end!

Sandy M. said...

Lol - loved the mind picture of you in rubber gloves, standing in plastic bowls - while the oven burned.

I've set fire to a microwave oven too. In my case (it was years ago and I was very young), I thought I would use it to quickly dry out some fresh lavender that was in a cardboard box - by setting the timer for a couple of hours. Lots of flames. No oven left to salvage. Back then, microwaves cost about $1,300! Oops

Mama Zen said...

I would never have thought of standing in a plastic bowl!

Dizzy C said...

Tracy

You are very brave to share this story with us. Not only because of what could have happened if you had not taken the action you did, but also for the image of you in rubber gloves standing in a bowl.

carol xxx

Stephanie@Fairday's Blog said...

I loved this story. I am sure it was scary when it was happening- but so funny to read about now that I know you are safe. :) The kitchen is not for me either!