- You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.* - Stewart Francis.
- Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly - Tim Vine.
- I was raised an only child, which really annoyed my sister - Will Marsh.
- You know your'e working class when your tv is bigger than your book case - Rob Beckett.
- I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y - Chris Turner.
- I took part in the sun tanning olympics - I just got bronze - Tim Vine.
- Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating ** - George Ryegold.
- I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting - Stewart Francis.
- I waited an hour for my starter so I complained. It's not rocket salad ** - Lou Sanders.
- My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism .... she wouldn't fancy her chances - Nish Kumar.
* 'Pop Star' Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham and footballer husband David Beckham, notorious for naming their children what are largely considered odd names - their first child is named Brooklyn as that is where he was conceived.
** Sorry I just don't get these jokes.
So, I've told you my favourite, now it's your turn to tell me yours.
16 comments:
That was a good one Tracey!
Let me share a few I heard from my kids recently:
1.If lions, tigers and cheetah are in a race what happens?
Lions lie, tigers tie and cheetahs cheat!
2. What is black and white and red all over?
It has two possible answers:
A. A zebra road kill
B. A newspaper
Have a great weekend Tracey. Tell us what you did this weekend.
Lol. I don't have any, but I agree with the first one. They do give awful names to their children. :)
The first few were pretty funny. I don't understand #9 at all, but I could just be slow.
My favorite from this list was #3!
Back when we did the "favorite jokes" posts I didn't think about my favorite limmerick:
There once was a fellow from Yuma
Who told an elephant joke to a puma
Now under hot western skies
His skeleton lies
For the puma had no sense of huma
Lol Tracy, thanks for sharing these.
I can't think of any offhand but we recently listened to a comedy show by Dane Cook and it was hysterical.
Hi Tracy,
What a fun post, I loved all the top ten and I'm sorry, but I 'got' them all, I must have a disgusting sense of humour!
My least favourite was the top joke about Posh and Becks!
Being a bookaholic, my favourite has to be #4.
I am useless at remembering jokes, but there are some great comedians about these days. One of my all time favourites is Michael McIntyre, I have seen him live a few times (and been picked on for sitting in the front row!).
Yvonne
#9 is a play on the phrase "it's not rocket science", but the key to understanding it is that "rocket" is what Aussies call arugula. Hopefully it makes more sense now?
Hahahaha! I love Tim Vine's jokes and I have to say, I did like the rocket salad one but my favourite is the Stewart Francis one about the documentary on shipbuilding. This is a great post, and perfect for the day I've had! xxx
I hear drums and a cymbal crash... ;)
I'd have to say my fave was #3. I am an only. LOL
Enjoyed your "humerus" post! These jokes are great--I don't think I can match them (I am not good at collecting jokes).
I don't usually pay a lot of attention to jokes, but these are hilarious!
#3 is hilarious!
Too funny! My fave is #4 about the bookcase, but #8 made me laugh too! Sadly, I didn't really get #7 or #9 either. :(
I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y".
I like this
However not to forget the frown watching porn
I can't think of a favorite right now- if one hits me I will come back and share it. My favorites from this list were #2 and 3 and I didn't understand #7 or 9. Thanks for sharing!
~Jess
I think I like 5 best. I'm always up for a good pun.
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