1 Jun 2012

A 'NOT THE FIZZIEST DRINKS IN THE FRIDGE' SPECIAL.

I love the articles featuring the antics of the, err, shall we say, the criminals that are a teddy bear short of a picnic and now, thanks to various newspapers, can post these 'awards' in honour of these less than intelligent criminals.


Most casual criminal?

And the award goes to .....



This caffeine-loving criminal who casually strolled into a a newsagent with his head covered carrying a cup of coffee.

Most polite criminal?

And the award goes to .....


This robber was dubbed the world's politest criminal after his raid on a Seattle petrol station. He bought a coffee before calmly asking cashier John Henry to empty the till.

Best disguised criminal?

And the award goes to .....


Two would-be burglars who 'covered' their faces by drawing on 'masks' with magic-marker pens.

With a runner-up prize for .....



A serial armed robber dressed up as Elvis Presley.

Most inept thief?

And the award goes to .....


This tiny female thief who arrived at a jewellery store in her wheelchair, pushed by her partner in crime, before jumping out and putting on her cunning disguise - a black bin bag with two eye holes.

Best 'Get Away' vehicle?

And the award goes to .....

Police are hunting for a an armed robber who, dressed as Star War's Darth Vader, fled the scene of his crime on a ......  BMX bike.

Best case of trespassing?

And the award goes to .....



Rankin police Officer Jason Rocco is charged with trespassing and criminal mischief for allegedly breaking into a neighbor’s home to wash his clothes.
Rocco lives next door to the Marie Avenue, Avalon house, which is on the market to be sold.
The owner hasn't lived there for months so found it odd that his electric bill was unusually high.

Best 'Great Escape'?

And the award goes to .....

After hatching a plot to tunnel their way out of jail, prisoners David Crossfield and Jordan Morgan set about digging a hole in their cell wall.
Using a metal drawer runner, the pair spent hours scraping away at mortar and hid the rubble and dust in a pair of old tracksuit pants in a plot described as ‘Colditz’ by a judge.
But, Preston Crown Court heard, they hadn’t done their homework.
Their tunnel would not have given them freedom, instead it lead to an enclosed area inside the prison wall.

For more contenders including 'The Cookie Criminal', 'Cutlery Crime' and 'Burglar In The Buff' click HERE.



PS 'Not the fizziest drink in the fridge', 'a teddy bear short of a picnic' - know any more euphemisms' that suggest a person who does rather silly things?

18 comments:

Dizzy C said...

A sandwich short of a picnic is the one we use here :)

Have a great holiday weekend, Tracy.

carol xx

Jeannie said...

Not the sharpest tool in the shed

Her blonde roots are showing

there are more, I'm sure but can't think of them at the moment

themethatisme said...

Lights are on but no-ones home.
Two springs short of a pop up toaster.

Just personal favourites...How many more would you like?

GMR said...

Good grief! *shakes head* Oh...total side note, that site you mentioned in a comment on my site where we first connected...JUST remembered, BOOKARMY! ^_^ Was a good little site...

Suko said...

Too hilarious! I hope the "best disguised" guys did not use Sharpies!

naida said...

lol!! oh my gosh. Are people really this dense??? The magic marker masks take the cake....lol!!!!

Blond Duck said...

Not the sharpest crayon in the box, goofier than a road lizard (Texas)

Betty Manousos said...

lol! very funny! thank you for the good laugh.

the tiny female thief totally cracked me up!

wish you a beautiful weekend!

big hugs!
xx

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Oh I like these stories, especially the sharpie one. LOL They need to bone up on their drawing skills, tho.. LOL

Nikki-ann said...

I remember seeing the article about those two who covered their faves with marker pen... How stupid can you get?! LOL. I do love these posts of yours!

JenM said...

"Not the brightest bulb" or "a bit dim" are popular sayings Stateside for people who are brainpower challenged.

I've heard that the reason most lawbreakers are caught is because they aren't very smart.

Fairday Morrow said...

These are too funny! The drawn on masks were the best.

Not the brightest bulb...
One beer short of a six pack...

~Jess

NRIGirl said...

Hard to believe they actually thought they could get away with it - except of course the "masked" men!

chitra said...

Instead it lead them to enclosed area in the prison...all efforts going kaput:)

anilkurup said...

I pity the borrowing criminals.

As for the police man i, he perhaps felt invincible and important than the law he is to upkeep, else will he trespass?

Jenners said...

Oh Lordy. What a crew!

Claudine G. said...

These are so funny! I like how cool that guy with the coffee was.

I've only heard of the 'sharpest tool' and 'brightest bulb' versions. Now I get to know more ...

Kelly said...

I think the drawn-on face masks made me laugh the most!