28 May 2012

HOW ABOUT SAUTEED TORTOISE WASHED DOWN WITH A NICE BOTTLE OF STOLEN ROSE?

Never mind throwing them out, off with their heads!!!!!


The owner of a royalty-themed tearoom threw out three middle-aged customers who refused to stand when she played the National Anthem.
Every 3pm, Mrs Atkinson asks customers to stand and then lets a young customer tap a helium balloon which then plays the tune of the National Anthem. More


And talking of her majesty .......


Council chiefs have banned Jubilee bunting from town centre lamp posts - over health and safety fears.
Traders in Burnham-on-Sea, Somerset, planned to hang several hundred feet of flags along the High Street to mark the event.

But Somerset County Council says every lamppost would have to be ‘stress tested’ to ensure they are strong enough to hold the lightweight paper decorations. More

Not the Olympic Torch but a bottle of rosé ......


The streets were packed and there was barely a child without some kind of flag to wave and then it was heard. The pounding of feet along an ancient Truro street in the shadow of the cathedral, right here on the Olympic torch route.
Would it be 32-year-old Lisa Heal, running her stint in a relay that would parade the torch for another 69 days around Britain?
Well no, actually. It was a young brunette shoplifter, holding aloft a bottle of rosé and being pursued down the centre of the street by two assistants from the Co-op store. More


Though I don't in any way condone thieving ....... you have to admit this bandit did have a lot of bottle.*


A brazen shopper was at the centre of a police probe over claims he stole  supermarket booze worth £2,500 - which was loaded into his trolley by unsuspecting staff.
The man told Asda workers he agreed a ‘buy now, pay later’ deal with the store manager to supply drink for his party.
“Unbelievably everyone took his word for it and even worse is the fact staff were summoned to load the booze into trolleys and help take it out to the car park. More




Talk about stating the obvious, would you pick these flowers?




Unsurprisingly , the delicate woodland flowers at Longleat Safari Park in Wiltshire have remained untouched and untrampled by people for years.
But the attraction's bosses feel the presence of the pride of 12 lions isn't enough of a warning to the visitors.
They have now erected a sign telling them 'Please Do Not Pick the Flowers', though anyone venturing into this particular lions' den is clearly a combination of brave and stupid. More



Yum!!!!!!!


If you're wondering what to whip up for dinner tonight, how about sparrows on toast, live frog pie, or even sauteed tortoise?
These were some of the delights on the menu in the Middle Ages. And for those with a strong stomach can be recreated today, thanks to a new cookbook. More


Who said romance was dead .......




When Bryan Lacey stood up to give his groom's speech at his wedding to Hannah Brown, everyone was expecting the usual list of thank yous  and a tear-jerking recollection of how he met his bride.
But the professional stand-up comedian had other ideas about how to declare his undying love.
The 32-year-old took to the stage to perform an ode to his new wife - in which he promises to love her until she is old and grey, needs a Stannah stairlift, zimmer frame and bladder control pants. More




* To have a lot of bottle = To be courageous.









9 comments:

Blond Duck said...

I bet you the lady with the rose bottle might be dumb enough to try...

StarTraci said...

I love that wedding song!!! Too sweet and funny. I much rather raise my glass with a little giggle than one of those forever long perfunctory lists of thanks!

And I really snickered at the visual of the faces of bystanders expecting the torch runner and instead find a speedy thief with her bottle of wine!

:-)
Traci

R. Ramesh said...

brunette shoplifter holding aloft a bottle of rosé and being pursued...fun...

ashok said...

nice post!

Jeannie said...

Wow! so many interesting tidbits!

Thanks for the birthday wishes.

John McElveen said...

GREAT POST--I would NOT pick any of those flowers!

J

Claudine G. said...

Petty, those blue flowers are gorgeous! (As are the lions, of course. Who would want to mess with them, huh?) Sparrow toast? Oh no, I've recently developed a special love for sparrows and I can't bear to think of them as food! (Frog stuff, I can stand to think, but not eat, of course. I do know they are used in some Chinese dishes.)

Oh, and by the way, I came across this article on Maurice Sendak illustrating 'The Velveteen Rabbit.' Thought you might be interested:

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/11/02/maurice-sendak-velveteen-rabbit/

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Aw... love the flower protection. Also love the song. So great!

GMR said...

OMG. If you're "silly" enough to pick THOSE flowers and make it out to tell the tale...more power to you. That Middle Ages cookbook though...WON'T be on my must read list. *blech* Thanks for the smiles!