VEGGIE ID PARADES AND FENCE FACTOR?

Its not the fact that this poor man fell off a ladder - its the fact that it was a health and safety officer who fell off the ladder, that and the fact that this all happened in my home town of Gateshead.

HEALTH AND SAFETY OFFICER VIDEOED FALLING OFF A LADDER. A building health and safety officer has been suspended after a video of him falling off a ladder became a YouTube hit.

Paul Cavanagh, who works for housing maintenance firm Morrison, was filmed climbing a ladder outside a home in Gateshead to teach colleagues a new safety measure.

However, the demonstration went wrong when Mr Cavanagh, who was tethered to the ladder, slid sideways and crashed into a neighbour's garden.

As he lay on the ground, one worker succinctly observed: "That proves the system doesn’t work then". - The Telegraph (08/11/2011)Please note: You can see video footage of this by clicking on the article link but be warned the language is, err, rather colourful.

WARNING: Those with a weak stomach might like to give the following article a miss.

Coal, soap, leather shoes - just some of the strange things craved by certain women. All preferable to this womans cravings I would have thought.

PREGNANT WOMAN DEVELOPES TASTE FOR ROADKILL. Artist and taxidermist Alison Brierley has found herself craving feasts of roadkill as a result of her pregnancy.

The 42-year-old has been eating an array of animals killed along her local roads in Harrogate, North Yorkshire.

Brierley often used her roadkill to make jewellery from their hides, but now the mum-to-be has gone full throttle with her new diet.

'Usually I eat really healthily but now I'm pregnant I get strong cravings for roadkill,' explained Brierley. 'It's more gamey than other meat and I love the taste. I also don't have to feel guilty about eating it because I know it's had a completely free range and natural life.' - Aaron-Spencer Charles, The Metro (08/11/2011)

It's safe to look!!!!!!!!

Well, we've had some meat, now for the veg .......

DETECTIVES HOLD VEGETABLE ID PARADE. Detectives in Cambridgeshire had to dig deep to get to the root of an allotment theft – so they held an identity parade of vegetables.

The crucial evidence against Lawrence Miller and Steven Randall was planted – literally – after they were caught with a bag of fruit and vegetables.

Police invited allotment holders in Brampton, Cambridgeshire, to pick out their produce. And it was that line-up that sowed the seeds for Miller, 44, and Randall, 46, who appeared at Huntingdon magistrates’ court, where they were given a conditional discharge, and ordered to pay £20 in compensation and £85 costs. - Hayden Smith, The Metro (09/11/2011)

And sticking with crime ........

POLICE LURE CRIMINALS WITH FREE BEER.Nineteen wanted criminals were arrested by police after being tricked into meeting officers by the lure of a free crate of beer. 

Undercover officers at Derbyshire police sent letters to dozens of people who had evaded arrest asking them to ring a marketing company to collect a free crate of beer.

A total of 19 suspects fell for the hoax and called the number on the letter, which put them through to police officers based at Chesterfield Police Station.

They were told that they needed to arrange a date and time for the free alcohol to be dropped off at an agreed address.

But instead of being handed free ale the wanted men found themselves confronted by police, handcuffed and under arrest. - Claire Duffin, The Telegraph (11/11/2011)

The most boring competition ever?

BRITAIN'S BEST FENCE REVEALED. It's the moment we've all been waiting for - the winner of Fence Factor has been announced as farmer Gary Harrison from Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, whose fence offers a spectacular view of the field behind his house.

The proud owner of Britain’s new best fence, 37, beat 50 other fence owners to win what was dubbed the ‘most boring competition ever’.

Mr Harrison put his creativity to use with a pair of glass patio doors to revolutionise his fence after his wife complained that she didn't have a view of their land through their garden's 6ft structure as it was. - Tariq Tahir, The Metro (09/11/2011) And you can click HERE to see the other shortlisted fences.

And from boring competitions to, err, less than interesting collections.

RALPH HAS LARGEST COLLECTION OF ........... SPANNERS. Ralph Blackett, a  retired handyman and farm labourer has been collecting spanners for 15 years and now has about 4,000 in his home, in Holmdale Road, Syston. - Leicester Mercury (10/11/2011)

It wasn't that long ago I was bringing you articles about supermarkets banning shoppers wearing their PJ's to shop in and schools complaining about mothers dropping off children whilst still wearing their night attire ....... aah, how times have changed.

If you were thinking about getting out a little black dress for the office party, you might like to reconsider. What about heading out in a pair of pyjamas instead?

Not that we are talking about flannelette PJ's with a teddy bear motif. Instead, think (very expensive )pure silk with a polka dot, stripe or paisley swirl, trimmed with traditional piping.

A (PJ) jacket with lots of piping helps to create some definition and the trousers should ideally skim the floor or hover above the ankle bone. And what to wear over them? (Not a dressing gown that's for sure) a sharp blazer or structured cardigan will do. (Oh and don't forget) the heels and discreet little clutch bag. - Carolyn Asome, The Mail (12/11/2011)

Suggested party wear designed by Rachel Roy.

Coming to the UK soon .........

A virtual tailor that can take your measurements and offer style advice like your best friend is set to arrive in Britain within months.

The computer programme takes less than three minutes to tell you yes your bum does look big in this note your dimensions while you stand in front of a webcam at home.

Once recorded, a database of measurements of 100,000 people is used to make recommendations for clothes that might steer you away from a fashion disaster. - Kevin Dowling, The Sunday Times (13/11/2011)

PLEASE NOTE : Wherever possible I will endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.