STARTING AND ENDING WITH TEETH.

THE GUARDIAN.

Wallace (pictured right), of Wallace and Gromit fame, must be pleased to learn that ........

EATING CHEESE CAN HELP YOUR TEETH. It might sound unlikely, but one of the best and easiest ways to combat acid erosion in your teeth is to eat a piece of cheese after every meal.

Cheddar is best, because it contains the highest levels of alkali - soft cheese like brie or feta won't have as much of an effect. - Laura Barnett (15/03/2011)

A few Media Monday's ago we had the video footage of the police dog who wanted to have a game of football ..... today, it's the turn of a rugby playing fox.

FOX MAKES A TWICKENHAM DEBUT. After darting towards the 22-metre line, the star turn on the pitch at Twickenham spoiled a promising debut by panting with exertion and skulking behind the pre-match band. The fox that enlivened the Six Nations rugby match between England and Scotland last Sunday (the 13th) was the latest animal to, ahem, dog a great sporting occasion. - Patrick Barkham (15/03/2011)

Sticking with animals (sort of) and sporting events .....

Well, THE EQUESTRIAN LOOK IS ALWAYS A WINNER.  Proving the point that you can never overestimate the bad taste of rich people, the stupidity of people who gamble on horses, or posh people's preference for animals, a beting company by the name of Betfair has decided that the best way to mark the beginning of  the CHELTENHAM FESTIVAL is to commission and sell  pairs of 'equine' shoes (pictured above left) for charity - the horse hair is real, incidentally. The hoof, thankfully, is not. -Hedley Freeman (16/03/2011)

THE MIRROR.

Fit for a king? Well, maybes a prince.

WILLS AND KATE SCULPTED INTO A CAKE.  Cake maker Michelle Wibowo spent more than 80 hours creating her own masterpiece (pictured below) in honour of next month's royal wedding, featuring likenesses of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

The result is a traditional English fruit cake, carved into 3D busts with an armature inside, covered with apricot jam, 10kg marzipan and 10kg icing sugar.

The icing was sculpted with details then airbrushed with colours to make it look more realistic. - (14/03/2011)  (For video footage click HERE)

WHOOPS!!!!!!!  Keeping with the royal wedding ........ A mug celebrating the wedding of Will and Kate has a slight problem - a picture of Prince Harry and not William. - Sunday Sun (20/03/2011)

Some kind of record?

WOMAN FAILS DRIVING THEORY TEST 90 TIMES having spent £2,790 and that's before she has even sat the actual, practical test. - Martin Newman (17/03/2011)

THE CHRONICLE

(AND HUSBAND DEAREST'S CHOICE)

Ouch!!!!!! Perhaps not one to be read by any of my male followers.

WOMAN CHARGED WITH BITING MAN'S TESTICLES OFF. (Here's me telling you all what a wonderful place my home city is and then this news ........)  A WOMAN has appeared in court accused of biting off her boyfriend’s testicles.

Martin Douglas, 45, needed emergency surgery to reattach his genitals after Maria Topp allegedly bit them off in an early-morning drunken attack.

The badly-injured victim has since recovered in hospital following the incident last month.

Topp, a mother-of-four from Waterloo Street, Newcastle, has been charged with grievous bodily harm and will appear before Newcastle Crown Court, next month. - (18/03/2011)