15 Feb 2011

FROM GARDENERS TO HITMEN.

THE GUARDIAN.

Do you like the great-outdoors? Are you green-fingered? Then this vacancy could be just the job for you.

WANTED A GARDENER. Buckingham Palace is advertising for an eco-gardener. Paying just £15,000 to maintain 42 acres, amongst other things the applicant is expected to manage the 'Royal Arisings'.
(Royal Arising?) This is what the Windsors call straw and manure. Zoe Williams (08/02/2011)

Not what I'd call a healthy diet.

WOMEN LIVES ON CRISPS FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS.   Not a fan of the cooked meal. (Debbie Taylor) is much happier with Monster Munch crisps - beef flavour.
Eating two family-sized bags a day for two years, and little else for the past decade my shopping trolley looks as if I'm having a children's party. - Debbie Taylor (12/02/2011)

Good on 'yer.

PENSIONER FOILS JEWELLERY HEIST. A pensioner who broke up a jewellery heist by running towards the scene and attacking the robbers with her shopping bag explained how it had all come about through a misunderstanding.
Ann Timson, a retired market trader in her 70's, said that her 'mother's instinct' kicked in as she thought the disturbance was being caused by a boy being beaten up. - Amelia Hill (09/02/2011) Click HERE to see 'Super Gran Ann' in action.

THE TELEGRAPH.
(12/02/2011)

Sticking with the theme of burglars .......

SHED OWNERS ADVISED WIRE COULD HURT BURGLARS. Police have warned residents to stop putting wire mesh over their garden shed windows - because they could be sued if a burglar is injured.

In the past we have had rail disruptions due to leaves on the line and the 'wrong sort of snow' falling but never this.

Hundreds of commuters were late to the office after a train driver refused to work because his seat was damp.
The driver had arrived to find his seat soaked through. But instead of putting a waterproof jacket over the wet patch, he walked off, leaving commuters stranded.

Sorry, but I can't help but think this next article would make a great comedy.

A contract killer was so incompetent that his gangland bosses demanded a third 'hit' for free after he bungled the first two.
Simeon Henderson, 27, agreed to take as little as £3,000 a time from criminals to shoot their rivals. But he failed to kill one man as ordered, and on another occasion missed his victim altogether.

PLEASE NOTE - I Will always endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.

20 comments:

Vivienne said...

I saw the old lady on the television, who single handedly took on all those thieves. Well done to such a brave woman.

Lilly said...

Well done supergran!

Misha said...

Another great post! I love reading all the interesting news :)
The one about the Supergran is the best. What a courageous woman!

GMR said...

Umm, yeah..the gardener bit, gonna have to pass. O_O Wow, crisps for 10 years!? My palate would leave me....literally. Way to go super gran! Gotta love the irony on the burglar suing the one they were stealing from...*shakes head*. Great shares Tracy! Thanks for the smiles....

Patti said...

GO granny go, and arisings is funny. I'll have to remember that word when we're driving through farmlands.

Nezzy said...

Oh baby, I have an illness when it comes to yard work. I've named it OCFD (obsessive, compulsive, flower disorder) Poor Hubs has enlarged my yard three times to hold more flowers.

I just love a rockin' granny...you go girl.

You crack me up girl!

God bless and have a beautiful day sweetie!!!

Melissa Gill said...

I thought it was just in the US that people would be stupid enough to sue someone for getting injured on their property while robbing them.

That last one would make a very funny movie.

Jenners said...

The crisps story just proves to me that all that nutrition stuff is for the birds. HAHA.

The Golden Eagle said...

Go, Super Gran! Wow.

Thanks for another interesting post!

Kelly said...

Royal Arisings. Ahahahhaah!!! I think I'll start referring to what's out in our pasture as Arisings. (just not royal)

That business about the burglars being able to sue just burns me up! That's crazy!!

Enjoyed all these.
:)

Suko said...

I "enjoyed" these tidbits, Petty. Terrific post! :)

A said...

Honestly it is hard to miss your posts on Momday. I have to read these on Monday.

Once again very good post

naida said...

way to go 'Super Gran Ann'!
And the woman living on crisps for 10 years?? That cannot be healthy...lol.

Erratic Thoughts said...

Great post Tracy...
Now we have to protect burglars,eh?
Don't crisps make you fat?No?

Arti said...

Loved the chips one... and the garden one was also quite something!!
Great post...
Have a great week ahead :)

Betty Manousos @ CUT AND DRY said...

How could I miss this post?
Interesting tidbits!

The one about the contract killer cracks me up.

Hope your day is a good one.

Hugs to you!
Betty xxcathion

Betty Manousos @ CUT AND DRY said...

Just passing by to let you know that my recent post's comments are ON. I just fixed it.

Heather said...

I saw the clip of the granny clutching her purse on my news.

I saw a story on tv of a young woman who practically lives on cola. she drinks dozens of cans a day and when offered intervention for health reasons, she couldn't hack it.

Short Poems said...

The chips one was really great..... and the garden one was nice as well.
Thanks for another beautiful post, Tracy :)

purplume said...

I'd like to live on nacho chips, although, I think I would gain a lot of weight. Actually, I think I would get tired of eating the same thing all the time. I love the idea of not cooking however and love your joke in the left column about the house coming with a kitchen.