Do you like the great-outdoors? Are you green-fingered? Then this vacancy could be just the job for you.
WANTED A GARDENER. Buckingham Palace is advertising for an eco-gardener. Paying just £15,000 to maintain 42 acres, amongst other things the applicant is expected to manage the 'Royal Arisings'.
(Royal Arising?) This is what the Windsors call straw and manure. Zoe Williams (08/02/2011)
Eating two family-sized bags a day for two years, and little else for the past decade my shopping trolley looks as if I'm having a children's party. - Debbie Taylor (12/02/2011)
Good on 'yer.
PENSIONER FOILS JEWELLERY HEIST. A pensioner who broke up a jewellery heist by running towards the scene and attacking the robbers with her shopping bag explained how it had all come about through a misunderstanding.
Ann Timson, a retired market trader in her 70's, said that her 'mother's instinct' kicked in as she thought the disturbance was being caused by a boy being beaten up. - Amelia Hill (09/02/2011) Click HERE to see 'Super Gran Ann' in action.
Sticking with the theme of burglars .......
SHED OWNERS ADVISED WIRE COULD HURT BURGLARS. Police have warned residents to stop putting wire mesh over their garden shed windows - because they could be sued if a burglar is injured.
In the past we have had rail disruptions due to leaves on the line and the 'wrong sort of snow' falling but never this.
Hundreds of commuters were late to the office after a train driver refused to work because his seat was damp.
The driver had arrived to find his seat soaked through. But instead of putting a waterproof jacket over the wet patch, he walked off, leaving commuters stranded.
Sorry, but I can't help but think this next article would make a great comedy.
A contract killer was so incompetent that his gangland bosses demanded a third 'hit' for free after he bungled the first two.
Simeon Henderson, 27, agreed to take as little as £3,000 a time from criminals to shoot their rivals. But he failed to kill one man as ordered, and on another occasion missed his victim altogether.
PLEASE NOTE - I Will always endeavour to bring you the links to articles I have used in my Media Monday posts but this is not always possible.