MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010.

FC enjoying the surf on holiday December 2009.

Dear Friends,

Did you realise that I have only 31 hours to do my job thanks to all the different time zones? And that's only if I travel from east to west. Hardly surprising I'm exhausted and in need of a holiday once it's all over.

But first there's the little matter of the annual staff party. If only it were different from last year when, as per usual, Mrs Christmas had one too many spoonful's of the sherry trifle and kept telling everyone who would listen that Bing Crosby's White Christmas is the best-selling Christmas song of all times. Then, there was the unfortunate incident with one of the elves who, having overdosed on one candy cane too many, decided to photocopy and e-mail pictures of his naked bottom to the Tooth Fairy who refused to come to our gathering after last year when she kept on being accosted under the mistletoe by the Easter Bunny. A shocking state of affairs I must say.

Anyway, Petty Witter, who has been a very good girl this year apart from that awful post in which she mentioned something about having read a book about someone called the HOGFATHER taking over MY role, sends her love to you all and wishes you every blessing. She also wishes to apologise that she didn't get to visit you all but will do so soon.

Be good,

Father Christmas. x

PS You might like to click HERE to read the interview I did for Alok Jhad of the Observer newspaper. It really is very insightful, even if I do say so myself.