Anyway, in Friday's newspapers - represented left by 'In Reflection' in which the hands are crossed across the chest, right hand in front of the left, the Buddha (at the Banyan tree), wonders how he can explain the cause of all suffering to others - we have ........
In the Daily Telegraph:-
Traffic officials in China opened a real-life road to nowhere.
Town Hall committees could not agree on a title for the Guangzhou province motorway, so they temporarily marked the plans 'xxx' - then forgot about it.
Normally quite well house-trained, every time Husband dearest is offered a glass of wine at his parents home (generally Christmas) you can guarantee that he will spill it over his mam's best tablecloth.
But now a new tablecloth promises to transform any unsightly spills into a pretty pattern.
The product, called Vino Veritas, appears to be a plain white tablecloth. However, once stained with red wine (blackcurrant juice?) different patterns appear, revealing an intricate damask design.
To restore the tablecloth, which the department store Selfridge's is selling for £69, to a pristine white, it must be washed with 2.2lb (1kg) of salt.
Are you open minded about this tablecloth? Yes? It's in your genes.
Holding liberal views could be in the blood, scientists said after identifying a gene that makes someone more open-minded.
The 'liberal gene' opens up a person to new ideas and alternative ways of living and could influence their belief in left-wing politics, according to the research.
It may mean that liberals are born, not made, although the effect is exacerbated if an individual has many friends during their formative years. - Richard Alleyne. (READ MORE)
From the Guardian:-
A fair amount of column inches have been given over to the reported death of a stag on Exmoor. The stag, known as the EXMOOR EMPEROR, is a 'celebrity' and as such many conspiracy theories are 'doing the rounds' - Is he really dead? Who/what killed him? Has he been kidnapped/abducted by aliens?
The reported demise of the Emperor Of Exmoor, the celebrated wild stag which graced the Devon countryside for more than a decade, came with several mysteries attached, not least of who shot Britain's largest land wild animal, where they did it and what happened to the body.
Now has come another twist: the Emperor might not be dead after all.
Some locals, witnessing the continued failure of dozens of reporters and TV crews to pin down details of the demise of the 2.75metre (9ft), 135kg (300lb) beast, much less the carcass, are taking a sceptical eye to the saga. - Adam Gabbatt and Pete Walker. (FULL STORY.)
A film begging to be made? Lets hope McDonald's was in no way involved with the Emperor'd demise.
A Brazilian court has ordered McDonald's to pay a former franchise manager $17,500 (£11,000) because he gained 29.5kg (4st, 9lbs) while working there for 12 years.
The 32-year-old man said he was forced to sample food products each day to ensure that standards remained high.
Hmm, I wonder if he celebrated his 'victory' with a McDonald's?
And so onto Saturday's papers. Saturday (to the right) representing Buddah Sitting in meditation, protected by Mucalinda's cobra hood. (Mucalinda being the King of the Naga)
For years now the pressure has been on us women to look good, the lengths to which we are expected to go to achieve this being, quite frankly, ridiculous. I wonder if, as an act of revenge, some woman came up with this idea?
It is usually superheroes that sport under-wear with special powers, but British men are rushing out (yeah, right! *)to buy hi-tech smalls that promise to suck in beer bellies, tauten buttocks and offer what marketers politely call 'frontal enhancement'.
While women have been sucking in their wobbly bits for centuries, with stays, girdles and magic knickers (not to mention other torturous items), now men are coming under the same pressure to create the 'perfect' shape.
Marks & Spencer's (M&S), the UK's biggest underwear retailer, said it's Bodymax pants, which have a built-in 'shelf' in the crotch area, had been flying off the shelves since their launch.
And finally from Sunday's Sunday Sun.
Raymond Scott, who tried to sell a stolen copy of Shakespeare's First Folio, has landed a prison job ....... in the library.
Scott hit the headlines after he walked into one of the worlds leading Shakespeare research centres with the 17th century book.
Worth £1.5m, it had been defaced to hide its true identity, which a judge went on to describe as 'cultural vandalism' of a 'quintessentially English treasure'.
Scott claimed he discovered the 387-year-old book in Cuba and denied any knowledge of it being stolen. - Adam Jupp.
Sunday: In Pensive Thought, the enlightened Buddha stands with hands crossed over his abdomen (right hand over the left) contemplating his achievement of complete knowledge under the Bodhi tree. * I say this so cynically because RESEARCH SHOWS