NOTES AND QUERIES.

Every week in the Guardian newspaper they have a Notes And Queries column where people are invited to submit questions, some of which are fascinating and leave you wondering while others are just bizarre and leave you with the feeling that the sender really does have too much time on his/her hands. Here is an example of a recent question asked and the answers given.

My computer is getting rather slow. It's five years old. What's that in human years?

* Computers don't get slower, we make increasing demands on them, which makes them appear to get slower {Pooter agrees} .... I reckon that consumer expectation is almost keeping up with Moore's law {? Don't ask me who or what Moore is}, which roughly states that computers will double in power every two years. In other words, {whispering so Pooter doesn't hear} if you don't upgrade or replace your computer but continue to upgrade your software and add applications and data (ie use it), your computer will appear to halve in speed every two years. {Does that mean after 4 years of age it will come to a stop?} G.S.

* I would estimate a computer year to be around 12 human years, so your five-year-old is around 60. He might potter on for another few years, gradually getting more arthritic {Don't we all?}, or {NOOOOO} he might suddenly have a heart attack and take all your precious files with him {He'd better not}. Prepare for the end by backing up anything you can't bear to lose. R.R.

* Oh about 5o years old. So, if you are 50 years old, it looks in good shape and should last for years and years. If you are 20 years old, it's ready for the scrap heap. M.H.

* It is five-years-old in 'human years', 'dog years' or 'politically correct' years. J.ML.

Anyway, all of this got me to thinking {No need for any funny comments here Husband dearest} just what question I might ask.

The answer {or should that be question?}:

Just which star was the poet JANE TAYLOR looking at when she wrote the rhyme TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR?

Enough of my witterings. Do you have any further answers as to how old a computer would be in human years? No? What question would you like to have answered then?

PS. Just in case you are wondering, the question asked of next week's readers was:- "I can do passable dogs, pigs, lions, snakes etc for the children but what noise does a giraffe make?" Any answers?