5 Jan 2010

CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS?

I don't know if these people have day jobs but if they do my advice (for what it's worth) would be not to give them up in favour of a life of crime.

A Dad who sent cannabis through the post was caught after putting his name AND postcode on the parcel.
Clinton Bernstein, 55, planned smoking the drugs at his daughter's (way to go, Dad) in Brighton and was trying to avoid being caught by sniffer dogs at the city's station. But sorting office staff became suspicious of the 'strong smell' of cannabis. (Probably best not to ask how they knew the smell of cannabis. Giving them the benefit of doubt, perhaps they are trained in such matters.)
A drunk woman who fled a top restaurant without paying was traced because she left her phone number when she booked.
A Californian man on trial for stealing a car was arrested again immediately after the case, because he'd arrived for the hearing in another stolen vehicle. He told police it was the only way he could think to get to court. (You have to admire the man for trying, don't you?)
Supermarket owner Antonio Oliveria arrived at work to find a male bottom poking out of a window. A thief got stuck breaking into his shop at Almancil, and as the robber, 22, tried to wriggle free, his trousers fell off. Onlookers gathered to point and laugh (Oh the embarrassment) as firemen took two hours to rescue him.
And just to show that crime really doesn't pay, the 'dopey' dad was given a community service order whilst the woman diner was told to pay the bill of £177 and given a 10 week suspended sentence and as for the trouserless felon? Who knows? Though I'd like to think his (err) face would be recognised everywhere he went.

12 comments:

Tina said...

I like this one! If you had a retweet button for twitter, I would retweet it!

Jenners said...

I suspect that if I took up a life of crime, I would be featured in one of these stories.

chitra said...

all this just points out that one cannot always get away with all the misdeeds . Like the story of the trouserless fellow ,had a similar one here . But not for smuggling or theft he was protesting on the street and the police tried to remove and caught his pants , it fell down and nothing was underneath... and the cameras clicked it right on time. I just wonder how that poor fellow will face the public after that incident:)

Vivienne said...

Some people are just plain daft!

Nina said...

LOL. These people are really .... stupid. :)

Kelly said...

These are hilarious!! Thanks for the morning laugh!!

GMR said...

LOL. You've got to love some of the things people do...I mean there are actually books of these types of antics as well. (Wait, is that truly funny...or merely sad?...Naw...I'm going with funny.)
Thanks for the laugh! =0)

Doctor FTSE said...

Hi P.W . . .

My brother-in-law, recently retired from the police up in Moray, swears the following are true.

One of the wee sub-post offices in Elgin was robbed. The police were called, and in 15 minutes, confronted the burglar on his doorstep. "But how d'ye ken it was me, sae quick?" he said in perfect Doric. "Well, y'see, son. We just followed yer footprints in the snow, up the street, across the cemetry, right to yer bliddy door, ye prat!"

The police learned about a drug run coming up from down south to Lossiemouth (or somewhere). Waiting in complete radio silence, they intercepted the gang on the road up from Granton to Aberlour.
"But we never heard ye layin' the trap" protested the discomfitted drug-runners. "And we've got police band radios so we can hear whit you're a' doin'"
"Aye lads! And we've got 'em too. So we can hear what YOU'RE doing. But see . . we kept quiet aboot waitin' for ye!"

'Twas your lovely tales reminded me of these two.
Thanks for the chuckles

The Doc

....Petty Witter said...

Thanks for sharing these with us Doc, I especially liked the first one - all very elementary my dear Watson.

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

I'm still laughing!!
What can I say for those people?
lots of love and hugs

Dorte H said...

LOL!

But if I wrote anything remotely as stupid as that in a crime novel, the readers would think *I* was stupid.

Trac~ said...

LOL gotta love dumb crooks! Hope you are having a great week! ;o)