FROM CHEMICAL SYMBOLS TO JOKES AIDING COMPREHENSION.

To begin with ...... Well done to our quiz team and, in particular, Husband dearest. Unable to attend last night (all this rain does nothing for my joints), the quiz, we lost but the snowball, thanks to a certain individuals knowledge of the periodic table, we won - hurrah!!!!!!! That's another £100 towards our Christmas night out.

Want to see how many of these chemicals symbols you can identify? Answers tomorrow.

AL

CL

HG

MN

PO

And now for today's round-up of the newspapers.

Carrying on from yesterday's post about Christmas presents, Husband dearest (who I must say isn't half bad at buying gifts) found this article.

MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL - WITH A CLOTHES LINE.

A garden centre chain has provoked anger among its female customers after suggesting that men make their wives "feel special this Christmas" by buying them a rotary clothes line as a present.

Equality campaigners criticised the store saying the advertisement was like something from the 1970s and promoted the idea that a woman's place was in the home.

The store admitted the 'joke' was ill advised.

- An edited version of an article in The Daily Telegraph. (For the full story, click HERE.)

Practical? I suppose so but it's hardly romantic, is it? Unlike this next Christmassy article that had me wanting to change my name.

A popular North eaterie is offering a freebie for special couples this Christmas.

In the true spirit of giving, couples called Mary and Joseph will get free grub at Tayburns in Newcastle, on Christmas Eve.

Couples and friends called Mary and Joseph can turn up in pairs, but photographic ID must be shown to prove your identities.

- An edited version of an article in the Sunday Sun.

Getting away from Christmas, you remember a while ago I did a post about the row over FENTIMANS lemonade? Well, a similar row has just erupted but this time it's Lucozade (another well known brand of soft drink here in the UK) that's causing the alarm.

Pupils aged 11 and 12 at a top private school got "high as a kite" - on Lucozade.

Four youngsters out of 25 assessed by paramedics had to be treated after having too many free samples of the brand's new Alert Plus energy drink which they were given on their way to school.

Now makers GlaxoSmith-Kline are probing how they got so much - as it's website says it is "designed to improve mental performance" but is "is not recommended for children with its caffeine content".

A source said "The teachers noticed they all seemed full of energy and their behaviour was different to normal.

"Some of the kids complained of feeling sick and so the teachers decided the best thing to do was dial 999. One kid had six bottles." (Hardly any wonder they were feeling sick then, is it?)

- An edited version of an article in the Daily Mirror.

And, whilst on the subject of drinks I couldn't help but have a chuckle at this article.

A shockwave passed through the organisation that champions traditional methods of beer production and the old-fashioned pub after an alarming incident at their Annual General Drink-in recently at the Old Beard And Sandals (now there's a name for a pub). Several delegates were caught on mobile-phone footage ordering (shock, horror...) bottles of alcopops at the bar.

"Things got rapidly out of hand," said a witness, who asked not to be identified for fear of beer-related reprisal. "One man even asked for a diet coke."

- An article by Jim White reporting in the Telegraph.

One last thing......

I knew it, just knew it. All of my stupid jokes do serve a purpose - apart from making people groan that is.

Telling jokes in the classroom can boost pupils' reading skills, according to researchers.

Children's grasp of comprehension is dramatically (not just slightly but dramatically) improved after being exposed to short gags and riddles, it was claimed. Jokes which revolve around word-play - such as "How do you make a sausage roll?" "Push it down the hill" - help expand young children's understanding of how English works. A study by York University, reported in THE TIMES EDUCATIONAL SUPPLEMENT, tested four groups of eight and nine-year-olds over a year. One group, which focused solely on speaking and listening skills, including learning jokes, overtook their classmates in reading comprehension.

- An edited version of an article in the Guardian.

FOOTNOTE: As it is not always practical to post the complete version of an article, I will endeavour to provide a link to the full version wherever possible.