15 Nov 2009

FROM PANTS TO A (DEAD) CAT(ASTOPHE).

All was well in the Petty Witter household yesterday and so, for the first time in a few weeks, we both made it to the breakfast club where, amongst several other articles, the following were discussed.

From The Guardian.

WHAT A MAN'S PANTS SAY ABOUT HIM.

A new survey from Debenhams (a large department store found in many British towns and shopping centres) claims to shed some light on men's underwear-buying habits. While the average 23-year-old allegedly buys up to 31 pairs a year "of all styles, tightness and colours", and even 40-year-olds manage a dozen pairs in as many months, once you reach 44 Debenhams reckon you give up the habit for life. Not because by then you have bought 284 pairs and never need to fork out for Y-fronts or tangas again, but because a woman is doing it for you. (So I've got another 8 or so months of Husband dearest being capable of buying his own before I have to do it - there's something to look forward to.)

"Even the most macho men delegate the duty of buying underpants to women as soon as they can" claims Rob Faucherand, the store's head of men's accessories buying.

There's obviously some truth in this (after all the survey never lies) but it does leave some questions unanswered. Firstly, what about men who love men? Who buys their smalls? (their mothers? Only an idea.) Just as importantly, what about all the single straight blokes out there? (definitely their mothers.)

- Phil Daoust.

SALT IN JAMIE OLIVER SAUCES A RECIPE FOR ILL-HEALTH.

I strongly dislike Jamie Oliver (aka the naked chef) - an English chef and so called 'media celebrity' who is well known for his food focused tv shows, perhaps the most popular being Jamie's School Dinners which saw him campaigning against the use of processed foods in national schools in favour of more nutritional, healthy, locally produced foods.

Surely this is a good thing, I hear you say. Yes, it is but it's the way the man went about it. So arrogant and full of his own self importance. He preached to the nation as if he was doing us all a huge favour - never once mentioning all of the money he was making from it.

Anyway, giving my dislike, I couldn't help but smile at this article.

According to Jamie Oliver, his range of pasta sauces is "all about offering exciting flavours, using great quality ingredients at decent prices. I want to get people excited about having pasta and sauce, to really get their tastebuds going." Unfortunately, he has been heavy-handed in using one particular ingredient: salt.

Despite taking school caterers to task for dishing up the likes of Turkey Twizzlers (a frozen product that is lucky if it contains any turkey at all. High in, you guessed it, salt) on the grounds that they were bad for children's health, Oliver has been accused of using more salt in his tomato-based pasta sauce than any other range.

According to research published by Consensus Action On Salt And Health (CASH), which examined the salt content of 190 jars, pots and packets of pasta, the highest salt product was in Jamie Oliver's olive and garlic sauce, with 3g per 100g, or 5.3g of salt per recommended 175g portion of sauce. That is equivalent to 88% of an adults recommended limit of 6g of salt a day in just one serving and roughly the same as eating more than 10 packets of ready salted crisps (put that way, it's an awful lot of salt.)

(Oliver's defence?) He claimed the sauces were designed to serve 4 to 6 people a jar, perhaps as a pizza topping or a pasta dressing, so the salt would be distributed more sparingly.

(And to prove it isn't just because I dislike him) Oliver wasn't the only celebrity chef to fall foul of CASH: Loyd Grossman's tomato-based sauces also contained high levels of salt.

- Jill Insley.

From The Daily Telegraph.

POOH AT CENTRE OF DISNEY LEGAL FIGHT.

Winnie-The-Pooh is at the centre of a legal storm over his adventures in Hundred Acre Wood.

Disney is being sued for unpaid royalties by a company whose founder helped to turn the bear into a global success after giving him a red T-shirt. (for the full article click HERE.)

And finally, From the Daily Mirror.

THATCHER DEAD.

The text message was starkly simple: "Thatcher is dead." (Cause for celebration amongst many, not least of which, many British miners who still hate her for the part she played in the MINERS STRIKE of 1984/5.) And word spread like wildfire among guests at a high-powered diplomatic do. Diplomats and dignitaries scrambled to pass on the historic information.

But tragic though it was, the news didn't quite merit such widespread claws, sorry cause, for concern.

Thatcher it turned out, was Canadian transport minister John Baird's beloved cat - named after his political heroine.

He sent out a text message about the 16-year-old tabby's demise and the news reached Prime Minister Stephen Harper at a black tie gala event attended by 1,700 luminaries in Toronto.

The after-dinner chat quickly turned to expressions of shock over 84-year-old Lady Thatcher's apparent demise. The dodgy rumour was only quashed as Harper's aide, Dimitri Soudas, was preparing an official statement. He rang puzzled officials at Buckingham Palace and Downing Street, only to be told former PM Baroness Thatcher was very much alive and well.

Soudas is reported to have said: "If that cat wasn't dead, I'd have killed it myself by now." (Not
really the cats fault though, was it? After all, it wasn't the cat who sent the text message.)

PLEASE NOTE: The first two articles, both from The Guardian, were edited for the purpose of this blog. Wherever possible, I will include links to the unedited version - unfortunately, I was unable to do so on this occasions.

13 comments:

Dorte H said...

Thank you for a good Sunday laugh, but I also have a complaint: now my husband doesn´t understand why he has to buy his underwear himself.

Rob Innis said...

Trust me to be different, of all the things woman have bought me over the years I don't think pants are on the list and I have reached qualification age. Some of the things have been 'pants' but one must not be ungrateful.

Rob Innis said...

PS I have lost that link to the Geordie translation site which I need for the comments explanation...

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

LOL - perfectly entertaining! I read this right after I have put the new items I bought my husband yesterday on his side of the bed....
pants, socks, and yes, underwear...

I am 42 and he is 41. I guess we are right on target, although I think I have done this since we were married at 18 and 19.

Hmmm..... ;)

brizmus said...

I'm not a huge fan of Jamie Oliver, either (esp since I'm a vegan), but that's awesome that he's campaigning for healthy food in schools. But hilarious that hsi foods are so salty.
Thanks for a great Sunday laugh.

Kelly said...

I do tend to be the main underwear buyer in our home.

Still shaking my head over the Pooh business.

Alice in Wonderland said...

Loved your Sunday Words! I buy The Telegraph, and it takes me all week to read! Week days is always The Sun!
Hate Lloyd Grossman, but love to hear Jamie talk! Laughed my sock off when I read that Thatcher was dead!
OOPS! Wrong Thatcher!
See ya agin soon hinny!

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

I am back! I have an award for you - stop by when you have time :)

TheLittleFlower said...

Jamie Oliver? Isn't that the guy who goes to people homes and teaches them how to cook,if I'm not wrong?

I watch it sometimes,even though I don't really know what he's cooking! And to me,the way he cooks is kinda..fast? LOL!

Realtor in Toronto said...

Haha, well written, it made me laugh. Well, as for the Thatcher scandal - yeah, it was a mistake of Canadian politicians, not of the poor cat. How much confusion can a misunderstood text cause.

Elli

Hazra said...

I couldn't stop laughing! The Thatcher scandal was hilarious; I agree, why blame the cat for the message? Thanks for these entertaining stories!

Erika Baker said...

His mother would never even think of allowing me to buy his pants!

....Petty Witter said...

Rob: Good to have a males view on this. If you scroll down the page to 'LINKS' you will come to 'GEORDIE TRANSLATION' - click on here and it should take you to your link.

Sheila: Many thanks for the award and the link to my blog.

LittleFlower: I do believe that yes, J.O went into homes to give cookery lessons - another one of his campaigns.