* Bank staff in Poland refused to hand over money to a robber who tried to hold up a branch ..... with a SPOON.
** Would-be robber Takashi Owada, 54, changed his mind after storming into a shop waving a stick and demanding money. When the cashier told him to "stop being so silly", he apologised and rang the police from his own mobile to report himself.
*** A customer, who had chilli sauce thrown in his face by a kebab shop owner after a row over the lack of napkins, called police when his eyes became bloodshot. Now he wants the sauce classified as a dangerous weapon so the owner can be charged with assault.