As far as liking royalty goes, there are three groups of people here in the UK
- (A) Those who love our Royal Family
- (B) Those who loathe our Royal family and, probably by far the biggest group,
- (C) Those who don't have an opinion one way or another.
Me? I belong to group C. However, that could all change as already I'm tired of hearing about Princess Eugenie, daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, 6th in line to the throne, who has chosen to study here at Newcastle University.
The local television news and papers are full of stories and, on the whole, give us the same information but I had to laugh at this article which appeared in one of the local Sunday papers. Entitled 'HER ROYAL HINNYNESS' (Hinny being a term of affection here in the North East of England), it reports:
A BIG welcome this week to Princess Eugenie who is settling in at Newcastle University. The 19 year-old, is in Geordieland for three years studying for a degree in English Literature, History of Art and Politics.
I trust HRH read up on the region and discovered all about the strong identity of its people, its stunning coastline, rich history and culture and acres of wilderness.
But having arrived in the North East myself three years ago I would like top offer HRH these titbits of advice:
Always pretend to know something about North East football, even if you don't. We spend a lot of time talking about it.
Be prepared to say 'pardon' a lot. I still have problems with the Geordie twang especially if someone talks too quickly.
Don't get confused between Mackems* and Geordies. They are an entirely different species.
Try and say ' Newcastle', instead of NewcaRstle. I manage this only two per cent of the time.
Don't confuse "lets gan doon the Bigg Market**for the crack" with a stroll around the bric-a-brac stalls of Portabello market. The only thing you will find in Bigg Market is booze.***
"What's the crack?" - "What has been happening in your world, Eugenie?"
"Champion" - "Everything is spiffing/good."
"Fancy gannin doon the toon?" - "Would you like to accompany me into the city?"
"Alreet lass/How ye deeing?" - "How are you, Eugenie?"
"Ye knaa what ah mean leik?" - "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
"Did ye hev a canny bait?" - "Was your meal delightful?"
"Ahm feeling really knackered the dayh." - "Gosh I'm feeling so exhausted today."
"Al tak ye doon the club to see the turn." - "Let's see some entertainment at the local public house."
"Whay aye man." - "Of course, Eugenie."
"Av niver been oot wif a real Princess afore, pet, al tak ye for a kebab sometime." - "I think you are really special, would you like to join me for a traditional Turkish banquet in the near future?"
"Owt fa nowt." - "Do you you have anything available free of charge?"
"Gerrof, get yer arn chips." - Eugenie, please purchase your own chips/fries."
And, Eugenie, if you really don't understand then nodding your head is better than saying nowt (nothing). Good luck. Oh and make sure you hook up with a good Geordie bloke. Believe me, they are one of a kind.
SOURCE: The Sunday Sun's Philippa Tomson.
*Mackem - someone from Sunderland, a town some eight or so miles east of Newcastle.
** The Bigg Market - A well known area of Newcastle, populated by pubs and nightclubs.
*** Booze - Alcohol.