I SAY, I SAY, I SAY ......

• What is your beard/moustache like? Scanty? Bushy? Clipped?
• Have you visited a farm in the previous week?
• How many wives do you intend to bring with you?
• What side of the bed does your partner sleep on?
• In times of either peace or war have you ever been involved, or suspected of involvement, in war crimes, crimes against humanity or genocide?
• Have you ever been involved in, supported or encouraged terrorist activities in any country?

If you think some of the above questions which were being asked on Visa applications sound a bit bizarre, how about the below questions asked by individuals tackling the forms?

• "Do you know if it's easier to find a wife in England? I'm struggling here." 
• "Is everybody friends with the Queen?"
• "I want to be closer to Elton John. He doesn’t come to Togo. Do you see him much in Britain?"
• "Is it legal to marry your car?"
• "Somebody told me that Australia was founded by criminals. Do I have to have a criminal record to move there?"

Thanks to Paul for sharing what I'm assured are these true howlers via FaceBook.

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