A NEW YEAR DIALOGUE.

MORTAL: 

“The night is cold, the hour is late, the world is bleak and drear;

    Who is it knocking at my door?”

THE NEW YEAR: 

“I am Good Cheer.”

MORTAL: 

“Your voice is strange; I know you not; in shadows dark I grope.
What seek you here?”

THE NEW YEAR:

 “Friend, let me in; my name is Hope.”

MORTAL: 

“And mine is Failure; you but mock the life you seek to bless. Pass on.”

THE NEW YEAR:

 “Nay, open wide the door; I am Success.”

MORTAL: 

“But I am ill and spent with pain; too late has come your wealth. I cannot use it.”

THE NEW YEAR:

 “Listen, friend; I am Good Health.”

MORTAL: 

“Now, wide I fling my door. Come in, and your fair statements prove.”

THE NEW YEAR: 

“But you must open, too, your heart, for I am Love.”

- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

(1909)

Here's hoping 2014 brings you and yours good cheer, hope, success, good health and, most of all, love.

Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

A 2013 POST RECAP.

      Can you believe that this Tuesday sees the end of 2013? That's another 12 months of posts on Pen and Paper which can only mean one thing .......

A walk down memory lane.

It's interesting and fun and all you have to do is .........

  

"Take the first line of each month's first post over the past year and see what it tells you about your blogging year"

• JANUARY: Wishing You All The Best: An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
• FEBRUARY: Prom Nights From Hell: The first book read for ....
• MARCH:Author Catch-UP: Lisa Becker: Perhaps the biggest bookish surprise of last year for me was Click: An Online Love Story
• APRIL:When Two Out Of Five Aren't True: No, I'm not going to bake a napkin in your pancake, stick a buzzer in your handshake or any of these other things but what I am going to do is share with you five stories about myself only three of which will be true, the other two being April Fool's Day tall-tales.
• MAY: The Cottage Tales Of Beatrix Potter: The Tale Of Hill Top Farm: With many thanks to Kelly for sending this ..... Husband dearest was right you can make good friends on-line.
• JUNE:A New Science Of Navigation: LONDON: a network of living symbols threatened by the digital tentacles of an alien power spreading throughout the capital.
• JULY: Beyond Hairy Stockings: As if last week's 'hairy stocking weren't enough now we have the limited edition £2,499 fur coat made entirely from ..... male chest hair.
• AUGUST:TaleSpins: Meet Creepy and discover the truth behind the Snow White story you thought you knew.
• SEPTEMBER: A Skydiving Teddy And A Chocolate Castle ..... It's All Happening In Brighton: A cat owner has apologised to neighbours after her cat, Nibbles, was found to have pinched items including dishcloths, sports bras, gravy paste and even a bath mat.
• OCTOBER:Sorry ... Sorry ... Sorry: Husband writing…. Sorry for the interruption to beloveds blog.
• NOVEMBER: Stormbringers: Luca Vero is a member of the secret Order of Darkness, tasked with searching out and reporting signs of the end of the world. 
• DECEMBER: Of Ducks, Sprouts And Paper Clips: Children from Stoke have been banned from feeding the ducks at their local park after the County council claimed it was encouraging 'intimidating' wildlife.

Hmm, I wonder what 2014 will bring.

Other bloggers who have posted about their year (Please feel free to link up to your blog in my comment box and I'll happily add you) .......

• SUKO'S NOTEBOOK
• Arti's MY YATRA DIARY
• Nina THE BOOKWORM ...

Protection: All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission.
In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

ISLAND OF THE SEQUINED LOVE NUN.

ISLAND OF THE SEQUINED LOVE NUN by CHRISTOPHER MOORE.

SOURCE: Ex-library stock.

Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise — a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guys body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his bosss pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jeans goons. Now theres only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells.
...... Authors website

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1: The Cannibal Tree): Tucker Case awoke to find himself hanging from a bread-fruit tree by a coconut fiber rope.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 260):The bat had indeed changed from rhinestone glasses to aviators, but once you accept a talking bat, the leap to a talking bat with an eyewear wardrobe is a short one.

MY THOUGHTS: If I were to tell you I'm a bit of a prude who doesn't generally understand satire and that Christopher Moore is something of a satirist with a sense of humour that tends towards the adult you'd probably put money on the fact that I wouldn't 'get' this somewhat bizarre novel let alone find its sometimes bawdy humour funny. And yet I loved every outrageously, often laugh out loud, page of it.

Not just the story of a bumbling (dare I say rather geekish) hero or mad scientists. Not just a tale of a religious cult, an elderly cannibal, a Filipino transvestite, a ghost pilot, or, perhaps, best of all, a talking fruit bat. Island Of Sequined Love Nun is a rather ethical novel in which the author examines such issues as faith, hypocrisy, scruples and retribution albeit it in a way that rather than 'hitting the reader over the head' subtly plants the seed of a message allowing the reader to make of it what they may.

Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

FATHER CHRISTMAS BREAKS WITH TRADITION.

 Dear Friends,

I know it has become something of a tradition for me to post my Christmas message on Boxing Day but this year I thought it would make a nice change for me to post something on Christmas Eve before I set off on my journey around the world and given how bad some of the so-called jokes in Christmas crackers are I'm so pleased I did.

Relaxing after the Christmas rush last year, Mother Christmas and I sat down to beans on toast. Well, can you blame us? To be honest if I never see another mince pie, cookie, glass of sherry/milk again I'll be just as happy. And as for the reindeer and all those carrots. Least said but let me tell you cleaning their stalls out after they have eaten their body weight in them is hardly fun. Still, I suppose that's what the elves are for.

Anyway, back to Christmas cracker jokes. Hardly funny are they? Which is why I've selected a few of my own which I hope you like.

  Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on Ebay?

They were too deer.

    Mary and Joseph? Talk about a couple in a stable relationship.

    How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 9oz when he was born?

They had a weigh in a manger.

    Why is it getting harder to buy advent calendars?

There days are numbered.

    How many letters are there in an angel's alphabet?

24. There is 'no EL'. 

    What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby.

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

    How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer, Olive?

You know 'Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names'.

Happy holidays and remember I know whether you've been naughty or nice,

The Terry's Alternative Christmas Tree.

Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

TWAS THE WEEK THAT CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY.

What a December it's been so far ..... Father Christmas must have known that rather than being naughty I'd been nice.

• I always feel its such an honour to be asked to read and review a book so you can imagine how honoured and delighted I was when author Michael Mullin for whom I reviewed TALESPINS emailed me to say that he was publishing a comic book version of 8: The Untold Story next year and he wanted to include a quote from my review on the back cover. Talk about excited.

• My thanks to my blogger buddy Barbara over at MARCH HOUSE BOOKS from whom I was honoured to receive this ....

in exchange for my answering the following .....

A favourite Christmas song? Hmm, that really does depend on what kind of mood I'm in. I do however have a soft spot for Roy Orbison singing Pretty Paper which always brings a tear to the eye. 

And then there's that song with no lyrics that I like so much. Yeah that's the one, In Dulci Jubilo by Mike Oldfield (I can't believe that I put 'That Christmas song with no lyrics' into a search engine.)

What or who inspired you to start writing your blog? Husband dearest had been nagging encouraging me for a while (he'd actually set up a blog for me about a year before I first did my first post) and then we met some of his blogger buddies who convinced me to give it a go.

Do you remember the first book you ever read? No. But I do remember the first book I ever bought. You can read about The Pebbles Go To Town by Michael Cooper HERE.

Do you prefer physical books or e-books? I don't even have to think about this one, its proper books every time.

Do you have a favourite Christmas movie? If so what is it? I do like A Muppets Christmas Carol. Then there's 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation', and, of course, 'Bad Santa' and the Finnish film 'Rare Exports' which are both something of a guilty pleasure of mine.

Do you have a favourite series of books? Relatively recent favourites have been The Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood books by Charlaine Harris (I am however glad they are finished) and I've also been enjoying Philippa Gregory's The Cousin's War series and, how could I fail to mention, CJ Sansom's Matthew Shardlake books which are simply divine.

How often do you blog? It all depends. It was every day but at the moment its 3 to 4 times a week.

Do you blog about books or a mix of topics? Its mainly books but I do post about a variety of things including my Media Monday posts in which I take a look at the previous weeks newspapers hi-lighting the articles that stood out for me.

Do you have a favourite author? I have several. For historical fiction I love the afore mentioned Phillipa Gregory and CJ Samnsom. For crime I like Kathy Reichs and Faye Kellerman. And then of course there's all of the up and coming authors whose debut novels I've read who I'm sure will become favourites. 

If you won the lottery what would be the first thing you did? Buy a house with a library with seats in the bay windows, an open fire (one that as if by magic cleaned and lit itself) and one of those ladders that slides across the shelves - ok, so with my mobility problems this is hardly of any use but I can dream.

A couple of random facts about myself?

Err, given the time of year, how about ......

1. As a child/teenager it was a family tradition that on Christmas morning we'd eat tinned hotdogs in a bun at my grandparents home
2. I love Christmas crackers. Every year Hd buys a box just for me and just like a excited child I eagerly await Christmas Eve to pull the first one
3. Want to hear a Christmas joke? 'I live in an Advent calendar, it’s freezing come December 24th because all the windows are open'
4. I'm really no good at deciding who to pass these awards onto sooooo as its the season of good will and all that how about I give you all an early Christmas present and give you and you, and, yes, you this award with my fondest wishes.

And as if all this isn't enough I've received some real goodies in the post which given how busy he is delivering Christmas cards and parcels our postman must be cursing me.

• THE BOOK LOVERS' COMPANION: WHAT TO READ NEXT by various authors.

• ON THE RAILS by Suzan Collins (Thanks to JB @ BROOK COTTAGE BOOKS for this and The Book Lovers' Companion both of which were Blogoversary wins).

• BEYOND MY CONTROL also by Suzan Collins who having discovered I reviewed books asked me to review this her latest book. (See my review HERE. 

• Kirsty over at THE LOVE OF BOOKS who shared her prize of this gorgeous keyring and bookmark by sending me the keyring. How kind was that?

• CHRISTMASTIME 1940 by Agnes Irene (See my review HERE) who along with the book kindly sent a Christmas card and magnet. (A GoodReads win).

• CHRISTMAS AT CARRINGTON'S #2 by Alexandra Brown. (Another GoodReads win, didn't I do well?).

• A PLACE CALLED PERFECT along with a bookmark and poster from author Helena Duggan. (My thaks to Lindsay @ THE LITTLE READER LIBRARY for this).

• TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW by Miranda Dickinson. (An Avon Books UK win).

Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

CHRISTMASTIME 1940.

The eighth book read for the 2013 Christmas Spirit Reading Challenge, details of which can be found on my sidebar.

CHRISTMASTIME 1940: A LOVE STORY by Agnes Irene.

SOURCE: A GoodReads win.

Christmastime 1940: A Love Story is a tale of transformation involving a struggling single mom who is trying to make a fresh start in life and a man who has lost his connection to humanity.

 The curmudgeonly Charles Drooms is perfectly content with his life as the owner of a successful accounting firm. However, his narrow world is suddenly shaken up when the beautiful widow Lillian Hapsey and her two young sons move down the hall from him. The converging forces of the Christmas season, the presence of the widow, and the mysterious appearance of a little boy serve to stir up memories from Drooms’s boyhood, and ultimately force him to make a life-altering decision that will affect them all.
..... Outer back cover

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1): The first light of morning revealed a heavy sky over Manhattan, dappled cloud that promised snow.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 70): Some older children were bringing home a Christmas tree on a sled. That image, along with the lingering smell of gingerbread, put him right back in the old farmhouse kitchen when he was twelve years old.

That Christmas. There was his mother bent over the oven, checking on the gingerbread. His older sister Kate, her apron white with flour, was rolling out cookie dough on the wooden table .......

MY THOUGHTS: As well written characters are just as (perhaps even more) important to me as a good plot I found Christmastime 1940's Mr Charles Drooms a real treat.

A seemingly solitary, curmudgeonly man who put me in mind of Dickens' Scrooge - I could clearly see him sat at his kitchen table beavering away night after night once work had finished, his generally sparse meal eaten - it was wonderful to see him transformed by the power of Christmas and a certain young widow.

Not that the plot wasn't good. A story of family and friendships. A tale of love, loss and, most of all, hope this is a touching love story that though set in the 1940's is somehow delightfully old fashioned (dare I say almost Dickensian like?) making it perfect festive reading.

Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

BEYOND MY CONTROL.

BEYOND MY CONTROL: WHY THE HEALTH AND SOCIAL CARE SYSTEM NEED NOT HAVE FAILED MY MOTHER by SUZAN COLLINS.

With 33 years' experience in health and social care, Suzan Collins was delivering training on best practice when she was first contacted with the news that her mother had broken her leg at her nursing home and been transferred to hospital. There followed a chain of ongoing bad practice and poor care that Suzan, with all her knowledge and experience of 'the system' could not influence. What had really happened? Who was responsible? How could they be called to account? How could this be prevented from happening again? What would you do in her place? Share her experience and what she learned that could help you and those you care for.
...... Amazon product description

SOURCE: Received for review from the author.

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1:Accidents don't happen): It was 11 March when my sister called; our mother had a broken ankle due to an accident with the hoist in her nursing home.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: Suzan's reflections on what should/could have been done.

MY THOUGHTS: A chronicle of what happens when the authors mother is failed by the very people who should have been caring for her. Beyond My Control is a topical read written by a health care trainer who, with over 30 years experience, found herself battling bureaucracy after her mother, having broken both her legs at the nursing home where she is a resident, is admitted to hospital where once again she is failed by a flawed system.

A harrowing read that one cannot help but be moved by. Given my personal circumstances I did think twice about reading this but, despite having shed more than a few tears, I did find all of the advice including the extensive appendices (much of it written using bullet points) concise, very informative and, best of all, easily read by the layperson. 

Though undeniably a shocking account of grave negligence I'd recommend this to anyone who finds themselves in the position of a loved one needing care for as the saying goes 'to be forewarned is to be forearmed'. And as for those in the care profession? This is definitely something they should read.

Disclaimer:  Read and reviewed on behalf of the author, I was merely asked for my honest opinion, no financial compensation was asked for nor given.
Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

MEDIA MONDAY: GADGET AND GIZMO SPECIAL.

Whilst I normally bring you a mixed variety of news items from around the UK given that there are so many world wide articles regarding technological 'advances' in last weeks news I thought I'd share some of my favourite with you.

 
     Using a polygraph (lie detector test) this inquisitive Santa won't take you word for it, he'll test to see if you have been naughty or nice this year. FULL ARTICLE

From the inventors of the 3D printer comes Foodini – a prototype machine designed to revolutionise home cooking by allowing you to 'print' out meals. FULL ARTICLE

The iPotty - a gadget that combines a child's potty with an iPad holder - designed to encourage youngsters to go to the toilet - hasn't gone down well with parents and campaigners for The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood who, describing it as 'oppressive and destructive to young children' have awarded it the 'Worst Toy Of The Year'. IMAGE & FULL ARTICLE

iBanana: The most impractical iPhone case in the world? IMAGE AND FULL ARTICLE

It is hoped the Smarty Ring which uses Bluetooth to update users on their texts, calls and social network notifications could prevent you from looking at your phone so much. FULL ARTICLE

Put on a curfew, his whereabouts monitored by a taggging device, a man set off the electronic tag after going into the loft to collect Christmas decorations. FULL ARTICLE

Ramblers in Devon may have received a surprise this week when a life-size replica of the Tardis from hit TV show Doctor Who took to the skies. Unfortunately though the iconic police box was sent crashing to the ground damaging it beyond repair. FULL ARTICLE

Copyright: Tracy Terry @ Pen and Paper. All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission.
In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

A TRIO OF 'CHRISTMAS' READS BY AUTHOR KATIE FLYNN.

The fifth, sixth and, wait for it, seventh books read for this years Christmas Spirit Challenge (Details on my sidebar). This can only mean one thing (Drum roll please) as well as Visions of Sugar Plums with this trio of books by KATIE FLYNN bought for me as a present last Christmas I've achieved Christmas Tree level.

IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS

(For book description click on book title.)

FIRST SENTENCE(Chapter 1: March 1936): "Look out, Nick! Help, help, I'm slipping! Oh, dammit, look what you've made me do!"

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 58): "We are the new poor," his mother had said at Christmas with a rueful smile, when he noticed that the big oil painting of a long dead Frobisher relative was gone from the large entrance hall.

MY THOUGHTS: Not knowing what the book was about, given the cover and title of In Time For Christmas you would presume it was a Christmas novel and thus ideal for a seasonal reading challenge, right?

Yes, both myself and the person who bought the book for me thought so as well but how wrong we were.

Following two sisters (Addy and Prue) and their counterparts twins (Giles and Gillian)  throughout the mid 1930's and World War II. Putting aside my disappointment that this wasn't a Christmas story per se, I was disappointed with just about every aspect of it.

Perhaps not the best introduction to this authors work (it's the first of Ms Flynn's books I've read). With its unconvincing characters - I thought Addy and Prue (children at the beginning of the story) with their 'middle aged' speech and ways particularly inconceivable - and a plot that was plodding, monotone and largely depressing I didn't find this a good read be it a seasonal one or otherwise.

A MISTLETOE KISS.

(For book description click on book title)

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1: July 1934): Hetty Gilbert wandered slowly along St Domingo Road, trying to look completely casual, completely indifferent, but when she reached the library she could not help turning towards it and staring at the imposing doors with the big glass panels with the gold writing upon them.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 305): "Did you see the mistletoe?" he asked, still holding her in his arms. "You must know that a fellow can kiss a girl - any girl - underneath the mistletoe at Christmas time! ....."

MY THOUGHTS: Another case of what looks and sounds ('It was only a mistletoe kiss, Miss Preece told herself, stepping out into the icy December evening and locking the library doors behind her. A mistletoe kiss means nothing, everyone knows that; but this did not quench the warm glow inside her....') like a Christmas read being anything but. 

Still, at least this was a marginally more enjoyable read than the last book and given that its largely about main character Hetty's love of books and relationship with librarian Miss Preece it should appeal to all bibliophiles out there.

CHRISTMAS WISHES.

(For book description click on book title)

FIRST SENTENCE (Chapter 1: October 1945): When Miss Jensen came into her classroom, the Lawrence twins were fighting.

MEMORABLE MOMENT (Page 50): Cuddled close, both girls examined their trophies, not needing their eyes to tell them what the stockings contained. 'Paperback book, a bag of humbugs, a tin whistle - don't you dare blow it, Joy, or you'll wake the whole perishin' street - and an orange,' Gillian said.

MY THOUGHTS: Another novel from Katie Flynn that despite its cover (with its scattering of glitter it really is very pretty) and tagline of 'Their first peacetime Christmas must be special' is hardly a festive read.

Whilst I'm still of the opinion the books are unimaginative - all set in Liverpool during the war/shortly afterwards, two out of the three featuring a parent who is a widow/widower (in another the parents are in fact an aunty and uncle), twins with the name Gillian, day trips to Llandudno, even the mention of gingersnap biscuits - I did think that this with its plot line of a young girl newly blinded in an accident the best of the three, the exploration of how Joy and her twin, Gillian's, relationship changed quite interesting.

Please note All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission.
In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.

TALKING OF EUPHEMISMS AND CIRCUMLOCUTION ........ WHAT THOSE JOB TITLES ACTUALLY MEAN.

1. Five-a-day collection operative
2. Media distribution officer
3. Highway environmental hygienist
4. Transparency enhancement facilitator
5. Talent delivery specialist
6. Brand champion
7. Sanitation engineer
8. Education centre nourishment consultant
9. Public waste technician
10. Mobile sustenance facilitator  
11. Colour distribution technician
12. Field nourishment consultant
13. Communication executive
14. Gastronomical hygiene engineer
15. Director of First Impressions/Welcoming agent and telephone intermediary
16. Surround mastering & restoration engineer
17. Personal and family protection consultant
18. Vertical transport engineer
19. Wet leisure assistant
20. Beverage Dissemination Officer

 Thank you to  Paul, a friend in Human Resources, for bringing these job titles to my attention.

Care to guess what in reality they are?

Answers below (simply hi-light the text) but no sneaky peeping until AFTER you have guessed.

1. Fruit picker
2. Paperboy
3. Road sweeper
4. Window cleaner
5. Recruitment agency worker
6. Sales assistant
7. Bin man
8. Dinner lady
9. Toilet cleaner
10. Mobile food van worker
11. Painter and decorator
12. Waiter/Waitress
13. Call centre worker
14. Dish washer
15. Receptionist/Hotel receptionist
16. DJ
17. Sells life insurance
18. Lift engineer
19. Swimming pool lifeguard
20. Bartender

Please note All original content on http://pettywitter.blogspot.co.uk/ is created by the website owner, including but not limited to text, design, code, images, photographs and videos are considered to be the Intellectual Property of the website owner, whether copyrighted or not, and are protected by DMCA Protection Services using the Digital Millennium Copyright Act Title 17 Chapter 512 (c)(3). Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission.
In addition I would also urge that if you are reading this on any other page you contact the original blog owner/reviewer.