OF TURNIPS AND TREES.

Remember my mention of The Turnip Prize last week?
Well, 'The Three Tenas' scoops pub's first prize for art that lacks creativity in Somerset.
Created by Miss Quick, a midwife, the 'art work' consists of a pack of Tena ladies incontinence pads with three pairs sticking out the top. MORE

And following on from my post on the END OF THE WORLD .......
British authorities, in a bid to quell fears of doomsday, have issued light-hearted advice on how best to respond to the potential crisis, such as installing a fire alarm and listening out for weather forecasts.
A London Fire Brigade spokesman said: 'Fit a smoke alarm on each level of your home, then at least you might stand a chance of knowing that the end of the world is nigh ahead of those who don’t a'If you survive the apocalypse you’ll be alerted to a fire more quickly should one ever break out.'
The AA advised: 'Before heading off, take time to do the basic checks on your car and allow extra time for your journey.
'Local radio is a good source of traffic and weather updates and for any warnings of an impending apocalypse. Should the announcer break such solemn news, try to remain focused on the road ahead and keep your hands on the wheel.' MORE
Like one of its key ingredients you'll either love it or loathe it ........
According to British perfume brand Union, Marmite is a surprise hit ingredient in its new £125 perfume, Celtic Fire. 
The company claims that combined with notes of peat, oak, fir and bog myrtle, a fragrance that 'speaks eloquently of primordial terrain ensues'. MORE


Thirsty? In need of the flasktie?
Despite looking like a standard striped tie wearers of the £24.99 FlaskTie can fill a hidden flask with half a pint of their favourite drink.
Ray Couch, from AG Distribution Ltd in the UK, who sell the FlaskTie, said: 'This is the only tie in the world which doubles as a flask, it’s completely unique. MORE

We've had the Christmas dinner in a sandwich and the deep-fried Christmas dinner,now it's the turn of the seasonal sizzler.
James Taylor, 32, from Greater Manchester has created a unique festive dinner inside a sausage by pumping sprouts, bacon and chestnuts into them for his new 'Santa Grills' range.
He and wife Heather, 42, painstakingly hand-chop the sprouts and bacon before crumbling the chestnuts and adding the lot into the sausage meat ready to be mixed up shaped and  grilled. MORE

Imagine driving along, minding your own business when .......
A bushy-tailed rodent caused £5,500 insurance claim after falling from skies on to a motorist driving open-topped car.
The woman was driving her convertible when suddenly the squirrel dropped on top of her and caused her to lose control and plough into a tree. MORE

And it's not just squirrels either ....
Julie Anne Gilburt, 39, had just popped out of her studio in Brighton, East Sussex, when she was hit by something “squidgy”.
Artist Julie Anne thought someone had thrown a ball at her head then looked at her feet and saw that it was a bright orange starfish that was still alive. MORE

When Santa came to the rescue!
Super-Santa stopped robbers from snatching a pub landlord's takings.
The masked muggers fled when Father Christmas confronted them after publican Dave Holden yelled for help as they pounced on him on his way to the bank.
He said "I yelled for help and Santa came running." 
Simon Chapman, who was in his Santa outfit 50 yards away, explained: "As they left, I shouted at them, ‘I’m going to put you on my naughty list for this Christmas.’” More

Not a game to be played with your granny let alone your children!
Based on the latest bonk-buster, The 50 Shades Of Grey board game has hit the shops just in time for Christmas. 
Players listen to risque questions before secretly voting on which of their friends they believe it most applies to. MORE 

And finally, boffins at Sheffield University have come up with the equation for the ......  perfect Christmas tree.

 MORE