LOVEFILM: DECEMBER '14.

Having enjoyed Kelly's 'One Sentence Movie Reviews for some time now (see her latest selection here) Mr T and I decided to join in the fun and post our LoveFilm.Com reviews.

THE LEGO MOVIE. For the most part computer generated (there is live action later on) and yet for much of the time thanks to the choppy animation looking like its filmed in stop-motion. The Lego Movie started well with lots of in-jokes - be warned though blink and you risk missing them - but I quickly lost interest in what despite nods to everything from Star Wars to Harry Potter to Batman and The Matrix (in other words pretty much every geek's dream come true) was essentially an hour and a half or so long advertisement. TT

Yes, well I suppose it's ok. Bit of tongue in cheek stuff extracting the Michael from itself, the makers of Lego, have a bit of a anti-establishment, anti-conformity rant with a few jokes in between. NJT


THE CROODS. The Croods live in fear. Well in a cave actually, because their pre-historic existence is ruled by the fear of the new and different. Living ever with only what they know, never adventuring, never seeing the sun unless they are really hungry. Until their world is threatened, their cave destroyed and they have a new guide for their unwilling journey.  Good fun for a reflection on Plato's allegory of the cave and some lovely little touches in the characters. NJT

A fun, adventure filled, prehistoric family saga with a simple enough premise that held some surprisingly big themes. Beautiful animation and a great plot aside I loved that the characters weren't all Disney cute, that the females, ultimately saved by the menfolk, for the main were more than capable of taking care of themselves. TT

THE WOLVERINE. I wonder how many more films can be got out of one character... Not that it's a bad movie. Drags in parts, but enough action to drag through the plot.  The Wolverine is slowly driving himself into madness, haunted by nightmares and the losses that are numerous for an immortal.  An old war acquaintance, dying, gets in touch to say goodbye and your man finds himself drawn into a power struggle in Japan. Corporations, Yakuza, and the old man's family doing its best to rip each other to bits...and for some strange reason the old self-healing gene seems not to be doing its thing. NJT

Not to be confused with Wolverine, the first in this spin-off franchise starring the X-Men favourite. Personally I thought this second outing (the sixth in the X-Men series) a far better film. Gratuitously violent? In places, arguably so. Highly implausible? Most definitely, but then isn't that part-and-parcel of the whole superhero thing? What really made this film for me were the scenes which saw the most muscle-bound, well coiffed ever Wolverine struggle with his immortality/mortality. TT

POMPEII. Hugely watchable. Undeniably cheesy. Camper than, well, Christmas. Laughable accents. I loved it. TT

Not quite as corny as Frankie Howard's version but almost. Highlight was Kiefer Sutherland's accent which was ... extraordinary. NJT  

IDENTITY THIEF. Having picked some really bad films of late the best I can say about this is I didn't choose it. Not a fan of fat jokes, gratuitous violence or simulated sex scenes I found nothing whatsoever to like in what is essentially a mean-spirited story. TT


Casual, harmless bash at comedy trailing one man's attempt to catch up with the woman who has stolen his credit card details etc...  Bit of slapstick, an edge of double entendre, some naughty words and not a lot else really. Not sure why Mellisa McCarthy is cropping up in films, she doesn't seem capable of much beyond the character type impressed by her stand up. NJT

MALEFICENT. Beautifully set, should win awards for art direction, costumes and screenplay. The story of Maleficent personified in Angelina Jolie, delightfully sad and wilful whilst learning the lessons of regret and the doom her own behaviour sets in train. A tad slow in parts, some elaborations to please the  creative passions of the animators I'm sure, still all's well that ends well, it is Disney after all. NJT

An imaginative re-imagining of a fairy tale classic told from a different point of view. Part kiddie flick, part comedy, dark and gritty but also poignant. TT

BORROWED TIME. A snapshot of UK urban life as experienced by young people evinced as Greek tragedy. Sad kids, seeking meaning in the sad fantasy of their gangsta-rapper imaginations or X-box illusions and being utterly crap at reality in the mean-time. The lonely old man, Philip provides a dose of thinking for one of them to save his skin from the bullying harpies.  Some very funny moments but essentially a tragic vision of youth. Phil Davies is delightfully off the wall and foil for the pathetic Kevin played by Theo Barklem-Briggs. NJT

Though not without its humourus moments, far from being a comedy per se, I thought this a Greek Tragedy come Morality Tale. A bitter sweet tale about self discovery and unlikely friendships wonderfully acted by mostly little known/unknown actors. An Independent British film its a shame this didn't make it to the big screen. TT