23 Dec 2014

A SEASONAL SPAM BOX.

I'd always presumed the song The Twelve Days Of Christmas was the twelve days before Christmas. Seems I was mistaken.

Beginning on the 25th of December and running until January 5th though some traditions have it beginning the eve of December 25th (the first day of Christmas being the 26th) until the 6th of January.

Usually seen as a nonsense song with secular origins it has however been suggested that it is a sixteenth century instructional piece with hidden references to the basic teachings of the Christian Church, a device to teach the catechism to children, the true love of the song not an earthly suitor but a reference to God himself.

The ...

Partridge in a pear tree .... Jesus
Two turtle doves ............. The Old and New Testaments of the bible
Three french hens ........... The three virtues 
Four calling birds ............. The gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
Five gold rings ................. The first five books of the Old Testament
Six geese-a-laying ............ The six days of creation
Seven swans-a-swimming .. The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit
Eight maids-a-milking ........ The eight Beatitudes
Nine ladies ladies dancing ... The nine fruits of the Holy Spirit
Ten lords-a-leaping ............. The ten commandments
Eleven piper piping .............. The eleven Faithful Disciples
Twelve drummers drumming . The twelve points of the doctrine in the Apostles' Creed.

Anyway, whether a mnemonic device to teach children OR simply a nonsense song I thought I'd do my own version using the actual contents of my spam box .... if not exactly in these numbers.



On the first day of Christmas
my spam box had for me 
incontinence pads should I wee.

On the second day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the third day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the fourth day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked fireman
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the fifth day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked fireman
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the sixth day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the seventh day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
seven bank accounts hacked
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four movies of the adult kind
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me
eight credit card application forms
seven bank accounts
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the ninth day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
nine herbal pills for slimming
eight credit card application forms
seven bank accounts hacked
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the tenth day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
ten Lapland holidays 
nine herbal pills for slimming
eight credit card application forms
seven bank accounts hacked
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
eleven sexy Santa suits 
ten Lapland holidays
nine herbal pills for slimming
eight credit card application forms
seven bank accounts hacked
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my spam box had for me
twelve Boxing Day sale promotions
eleven sexy Santa suits 
ten Lapland holidays 
nine herbal pills for slimming 
eight credit card application forms
seven bank accounts hacked
six detox facilities
five cheap car leases
four x-rated movies
three calendars of naked firemen
two Russian women looking for love
and incontinence pads should I wee.

HAPPY HOLIDAY

13 comments:

Kelly said...

While I did know the twelve days led up to Epiphany and that the gifts had other meanings, I couldn't have told you what any of them were. So thanks for sharing this bit of trivia.

I must admit to being quite impressed with your own composition, as well. Of course I'm trying to sing it as I read along. Good job!

Tracy Terry said...

Despite loving this song I never knew any of its history and as I wrote always thought it was about the days leading up to Christmas.

Good luck with singing along, its not something that sounds good sung - and believe me I tried - but I had fun writing it just the same.

Betty Manousos said...

i love this song...one of my all-time favourites. i never knew any of its history either.
thanks for sharing:))

wishing you and yours a very merry xmas!!
big hugs and lots of love!

Karen Alderman said...

Oh that's hilarious. Mine would be different ethnic/religious dating opportunities, several multi-million inheritances, and supplements to enhance something that I don't possess lol

Karen @ For What It's Worth

Tracy Terry said...

Believe me Karen I get those as well. Naughty teens wanting to send me their photos being very popular at the minute.

Yvonne@fiction-books said...

Hi Tracy,

Luckily I don't get too much spam mail, as Mr.G does a great job at blocking it. My blog runs on Wordpress and on average my akismet software manages to block at least 1500 spam comments each day. That's scary sats when you see it written down.

Your 12 days of Christmas song does actually sing out not too badly, or at least it sounds okay to me, shut here in a room on my own, whilst hubbie watches a cheesy film on television.

I hope that yourself and your family celebrate a peaceful and happy Christmas and enjoy your reading.

Yvonne.

Suko said...

Oh, my! You are very creative to "recycle" your spam box in this manner. (It's like making lemonade out of lemons.) Have a very Merry Christmas, Tracy!!

Literary Feline said...

Oh, Tracy. I needed this. I'm crying because you have me laughing so hard. LOL

StarTraci said...

I knew that it was the 12 days after but I didn't know that it was teaching the ccathecysm. I prefer your version, however, as my spam box looks very similar.

Merry Christmas, my dear friend!
XOXO
Traci

DMS said...

I always thought the 12 days of Christmas involved the days leading up to Christmas! And I never had any idea the song might be a learning device! Your version had me cracking up!

Merry Christmas!
Jess

Brian Joseph said...

This is a hilarious post Tracy! Anyone who needs to manage a spam box would really appreciate this.

I also thought that the twelve days of Christmas were the days leading up to 12/25.

The possible symbolism relating to the original lyrics is fascinating.

So many books, so little time said...

Can you believe I don't know the words to this song? Sure I would have sung it as a child but as an adult, I don't remember it much. Funny how we never think of origins of these things or if there is a deeper or hidden meaning to them.

Loving the spam song, fabulous

Lainy http://www.alwaysreading.net

Alexia561 said...

I always thought the 12 Days of Christmas were leading up to the 25th too, so thank you for the interesting lesson! And I have to say that your spam box is much more interesting than mine! lol