FROM SLEEPING ONES TO POLKADOT ONESIE WEARING ONES BY WAY OF AGGRESSIVE MOPPING ONES IN A MONDAY MEDIA 'CRIME' SPECIAL.

WARNING: Whilst I endeavour to keep Media Monday fairly family friendly I feel it only right to let you know that some of the articles featured do contain links to articles that may contain more adult material. TT
 'Goldilocks burglar asleep in elderly couple's bed'. An retired Burnley couple returned from holiday to find what has been described as the most domesticated burglar imaginable asleep in their bed. Alarmed to find three bowls of porridge a pasta dinner prepared in the kitchen and a tub half full of bubbles in the bathroom the pair discovered the thief snoozing under the covers. 

The news from across the pond and my favourite articles of the week ..... 'Man arrested for taking cleaner's mop and aggressively mopping hotel floor'. A 30 year old US man has been arrested when after spotting a hotel employee he thought was doing a poor job of cleaning the floor he grabbed the mop and becoming aggressive mopped over the employee's shoes several times.

'Cock-a-doodle-to-do! Noisy cockerel slapped with ASBO after crowing complaints'. A noisy cockerel has been slapped with an ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Order generally given to a person who has been found to have been engaged in anti-social behaviour) following his disturbing a sleepy Peak District village.

 'Inflatable crocodile sparks police scare'. Plymouth police and wildlife experts from Dartmoor zoo were called to reports of an escaped 3ft crocodile in a women's back garden - only to find it was an inflatable toy.

'Cannabis-eating sheep get high as kite after munching £4,000 worth of drugs'. By the time she had realised what she thought were bags of rubbish were in fact bags of the Class B drug a Surrey farmer's sheep had munched their way through £4,000 of the illegal plant.

'Police hunt thieves pictured in polkadot onesie and red leggings armed with a spade and lightsabre'. In a FaceBook post British Transport Police police officers admit it's a rarity thieves are pictured in such bizarre attire but nonetheless believe their clothing to be crucial identifying features.