'I decided to sell my hoover .... well it was just collecting dust'
- Voted best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2014, Tim Vine.
'I've just been on a once-in-a lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again'
- Voted best joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2010, Tim Vine.
Having been runner-up in 2011, 2012 and 2013 comedian Tim Vine's joke has been voted best joke at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. A winner in 2010, this is the first time anyone has won the award more than once.
See the 10 2014 funniest jokes here and more jokes from Tim Vine here.
And meanwhile here's my latest favourite joke as told to me by our nephew.
'Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He Neverlands'
Always in the mood for a good joke please feel free to share yours.
16 comments:
I love jokes but I am terrible at remembering them and telling them. Thus, I usually take the passive stance on this stuff.
I like your nephew's joke the best out of the three.
I can see why Tim Vine won both years...I think his are funny.
Maybe your nephew should enter next year. ;) He sounds like a contender.
Lol. Love the hoover joke.
Oops... messed up the joke... Here it is..
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of dog food at Wal-Mart. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the dog food again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to give it a try again. (I have to mention here that everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to sniff the butt of a poodle and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.
I love it, keep them coming people. I am not good with jokes but I will share one with you that the first time I heard it it had me in tears. Wether it was lack of sleep and near hysteria or just the joke it anyones guess. ok here it is
What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What is blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff that can't breath :P
That one totally cracked me up. My o/h loves:
Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
I hate the fish joke lol
Lainy http://www.alwaysreading.net
Wow- what an honor for someone to win that award twice! Congrats to Tim.
I love your nephew's joke. I have never heard it before!
ha! I like the neverland one :)
I think Tim Vine is great. There's not many comedians these days who can do short, witty jokes like that and so quickly too! :)
No new joke, just want to say that you added a smile to my day.
I like the Peter Pan Neverland joke…I'm one of those people where the dumber the joke - the more I laugh. I guess I'm easy to please that way lol
Love the hoover joke. :-)
My daughter has recently discovered the idea of jokes and makes up her own. I can't say they are particularly funny, but she's so cute telling them it's hard not to laugh. :-)
that's cool he won twice; I like his joke for this year! too funny. The Peter Pan one is too cute as well.
-lauren
I like the one your nephew told! Made me smile.
I read these and my partner loved the hoover one, I prefer the once in a life time holiday. :D
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