27 Aug 2012

I NOSE I SAW A TORTOISE ....... OR TWO.

BACK FROM THE DEAD?
When Margaret Parker and her daughter Lorraine spotted a stray tortoise in their garden they raced into action calling the Knoxwood Wildlife Rescue Centre, near Wigton, Cumbria.   
It was only when rescue volunteer Pauline Adams arrived that the pair discovered the tortoise was not real. ‘I was worried it might have died,’ said Mrs Parker, 67. ‘But then the lady from Knoxwood looked at it, picked it up and turned it over. 
‘She said: ‘‘It’s not dead, it’s ceramic.’’ More

Tortoise on 72 mile cross country run crawl!
Slow and steady may win the race but for intrepid tortoise Noddy it may have taken months to complete his mammoth cross country crawl.
The resilient reptile was discovered wandering through the streets of Stirling, Scotland, an astonishing 72 miles from his apparent home in Arbroath.
It would have taken the tenacious testudine 554 hours, or more than 23 days, to complete the trip travelling non-stop at average tortoise speed.
Unable to trace his owners, anyone who recognises Noddy can call the S(cottish) S(ociety) for the P(rotection) of C(ruelty) to A(nimals) on 03000 999 999.  More


To think this man has obviously kept his sense of humour is nothing short of inspiring, don't you think?
Nasal cancer patient Bert Eastham has come up with a cool way of never losing his magnetic nose - he keeps it stuck on his fridge. 
"I used to wear my nose to bed when I first got it, but one night it fell off and landed in my slippers, when I got up in the middle of the night I stood on my own nose, I got the shock of my life." More

If you can't stand the heat stay out off the kitchen don't steal the chillies ........
A shoplifter was caught doubled over in pain after he decided to eat his haul of Scotch bonnet chillies while still in the shop.
Marcus Banwell made the mistake of eating his red hot haul from Singh Stores in Bristol before trying to make his escape.
Bristol magistrates heard that within a matter of seconds, the 39-year-old was coughing and being sick as the fiery food took effect. MORE

I really can't think of anything less tasteful than this ..
Reality TV star Lucy Mecklenburgh had a special treat for her guests at her 21st birthday bash - an ice sculpture shaped like her fiance's manhood filled with vodka.
(And it gets worse) And because it had to be to scale, Lucy ordered her man to strip off so she could measure him up. More


Oh well! Each to their own BUT it is kind of creepy..... isn't it?
Maternal Alice Winstone, 39, a mother of five real children, has spent £12,000 over seven years turning her home into a nursery for 50 Reborn Dolls that are made from a spookily life-like vinyl material and cost up to £1,200 each. More




18 comments:

Nina said...

That last one is very creepy! OMG!

naida said...

cute turtles, but that last story is super creepy!

So many books, so little time said...

Great wee snippets, I actually feel sorry for the last lady. What is missing in her life that she has to resort to this.

Lainy http://www.alwaysreading.net

Come At Me Bro said...

This is great!

Suko said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suko said...

You've proved it: truth IS stranger than fiction! And often less tasteful!!

Alexia561 said...

Love the ceramic turtle story, but I agree with the others that the last story was sad & creepy!

Nikki-ann said...

That last one is just weird!

Kelly said...

I find the nose on the fridge a bit creepy, myself.

dr.antony said...

So funny.I wonder where you get all this stuff from,and you always have more to come,for sure.

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

The first turtle one made me laugh! I loved the second one as well.

However, the dolls... going to that extreme is just creepy.

DMS said...

You always find the most fascinating stories. I am amazed at the traveling turtle. Wow! I think the fridge is a good place for the nose. :) And the last two stories- I keep being shocked- but I guess I shouldn't be.
~Jess

anilkurup said...

A typical Monday posting. The wonder is why the tortoise did not take a light year to travel the distance. Who said they are slow, crawl?

GMR said...

OMG. Really? Ceramic? KUDOS to the maker of THAT lifelike replica! *shakes head at vodka story* Yeah, I'm with you on the kinda creepy bit for the dolls.... *-*

ashok said...

as usual...every bit interesting!

fiction-books said...

Hi Tracy,

I am loving your sense of humour, I can so relate to it.

We bought my sister-in-law 3 baby ceramic guinea-pigs for her birthday and displayed them in a hutch she still had in the garden, after the recent demise of her real 'pig. The amount of guests who came to her party and actually thought they were real and just too scared of all the noise to move much, was incredible!! They were pretty life-like, I have to say!

There was a programme on mainstream television, a couple of years ago, about women who order these reborn dolls and then treat them exactly like babies, even in public. The programme was very odd and spooky and I am sure that this person was mentioned as one of the main suppliers.

http://www.reborn-baby.com/

Is this site spooky and creepy, or what!

Yvonne

Alyce said...

The stone turtle and the nose were so funny! The bit with the dolls - very weird and creepy.

Jenners said...

The doll story reminds me of my college friend's mother who had an entire room full of dolls, and she had clothes for them and everything. It was very very very creepy -- and I kind of think this lady is too.