28 Jan 2012

NAMING THE FOUR SEASONS AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFF.

The following questions were set in last year’s GED (General Educational Development) tests which, when passed, certify that the taker has American or Canadian high school-level academic skills. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)........... and they will breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.

Thanks for these Urszula.

16 comments:

Kelly said...

This kind of stuff always makes me laugh! You have to tell yourself some of these kids weren't really being serious, but just being funny. Let's hope.

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

awesome stuff!

thanks for the good laugh...i really needed that!

big hugs!

Dizzy C said...

Oh dear, hope these students faired better filling in job apps.

carol

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Those last two were so funny! :)

Nikki-ann said...

Got to love those last couple of questions/answers! :D LOL

John McElveen said...

Tracy-- You must issue a Class 3 Beverage Alert when posting substance of this nature! It causes spewage and Keyboard destruction!!!!!! LMBO!!!!!!!

Thanks,- I'm gonna steal!

J

Mama Zen said...

Dead sheep and canoeists?

We're so doomed.

GMR said...

The ironic part about this is that....it doesn't surprise me. *-* When I was in 10th grade....the World History teacher at my new school gave us a pop quiz on the first day of class. REAL easy stuff....like name the seven continents. I kid you not, I had a student next to me ask in all seriousness ... what are continents? O-O

Nina said...

lol. Very interesting to know! haha. lol.

naida said...

ha! If these were answers from young children, it would be laughable, but from 16 year olds?
Thats scary!

StarTraci said...

Oh dear! I can't say that it makes me particularly proud of the American education system.

:-)
Traci

Alexia561 said...

Oh the one hand, this is laugh out loud funny! Who knew that dew was leaf sweat? On the other hand, I fear for our future if these kids were serious. *sigh*

The Golden Eagle said...

Oh good grief . . . I wish I could say I can't believe they were from the GED, but I'm afraid I can. :P

Jenners said...

I want to laugh … but also I'm frightened and sad by these.

Brandileigh2003 (Blkosiner's Book Blog) said...

Heh. Love the seasoning one.
Hope you get to read Fever soon :)

Suko said...

Oh, no! Too hilarious!