21 Dec 2011

YOU CAN BLAME HD FOR THIS ONE AND MP FOR THAT ONE.

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.


One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:


Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.. Can you please help me?
Sincerely, Edna.

The postal worker was touched.. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds.



By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £90, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.


The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.


Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.


All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.


It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was a tenner missing.
I think it might have been those thieving ******** at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna.

- Thanks to Husband dearest for this.


A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough".

"Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her".

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this".

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife and says, "Done! Not only are they're coming for Christmas - but they're paying their own way too."

- And thanks to Mad Priest for this.

17 comments:

Lilly said...

Hahaha!! Brilliant jokes!

Vivienne said...

Oh I love Edna's story!

NRIGirl said...

Ha ha ha!

NRIGirl said...

Actually, I meant to say, Ho Ho Ho!

Arti said...

Loved the first one! Hilarious:)
Wish you a Happy Week Tracy:)

carol said...

Thanks for the laugh.

chitra said...

Very very good...Loved the first story.. How are Xmas preparations PW, still waiting for those deliveries.:)

GMR said...

OMG...too funny! Thanks for the holiday smiles Tracy. ^_^

Dizzy C said...

very funny :)

carol

Jenners said...

Thanks for these! A good dose of holiday merriment.

Dorte H said...

Great letter :)

In Denmark we tell the first story about the richest businessman instead of the postmen.

Kelly said...

Both so funny!! Thanks for sharing them. :)

Suko said...

Thanks for sharing these "touching" stories!

Mama Zen said...

These are hilarious!

naida said...

lol, both very funny!!

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

hahaha. both very, very funny!!
thanks for sharing.

Alexia561 said...

Thanks for the Christmas smiles! Hope you and Husband dearest both have a wonderful holiday!