5 Jan 2011

A U TO Z OF SILLY STORIES.

U is for unpleasant. Tram drivers in Osijek, Croatia, have been told not to let smelly people on board. Deputy transport director Josip Nadj explained the situation saying "It's unpleasant enough travelling in hot conditions, without being stuck next to someone who stinks."

V is for vegetation. A hapless golfer started a fire that raged over 12 acres and needed 150 firefighters to put it out. The man, who has not been names, swung his club, missed the ball and hit a stone, causing a spark that ignited nearby vegetation.

W is for whisky (OR, if you like, wee). Student James Gilpin collects his diabetic granny Patricia's wee to make whisky from it. He boils it, then mixes it with grain, malt and water. "It's very nice," says James.

X is for x-ray. A retired teacher thought he had cancer when an x-ray revealed a dark patch on his lung - but doctors found a small pea plant growing inside him. Doctors think Ron Sveden, 75, must have eaten a pea which went down the wrong way and sprouted in his lungs.

Y is for year. An Italian man has been arrested for allegedly keeping his dead aunt in a freezer for almost a year while he claimed her monthly pension.

Z is for zimmer-frame. A 75-year-old bank robber using a zimmer-frame was arrested by police 45 minutes after his heist while making his getaway. He was found still plodding his way down the same street the bank was in.
Just in case you are having trouble reading the caption it reads:-
"I didn't know you could do wheelies Stan."



23 comments:

Arti said...

Lol... Especially the ones of X and Z... A very funny post!!
Have a nice day:-)

Vivienne said...

The poor golfer - what bad luck. He must have been gutted to cause so much damage.

Su said...

Where do you find these things??

GMR said...

Whoa...okay those are some interesting/stomach churning stories in this collection. Thanks for the shock and share (LOL)! ^_^

brandileigh2003 said...

A very happy new year to you too!

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

Wow, wee whisky, what is the world coming to?
This list is Zensational!
Happy 2011, Witty Pet to you and yours.

Suko said...

Things that make you go "ugh"--whiskey made with Granny's wee and a frozen Auntie! Many of these things are pretty unbelievable. (I read about the pea sprout in our newspaper a while ago.)

Dorte H said...

Groan! It is difficult to say which one is best - or worse?

Heather said...

I am definitely staying away from W. eeks.

Thanks so much for all your wonderful posts. I know that when I come visit with you, I will learn something, I will be amused, and sometimes I will cry, and I keep coming back for me.

Melissa Gill said...

These always crack me up. Remind me never to drink homemade whiskey.

I feel bad for a pensioner desperate enough to rob a bank while using a zimmer frame.

I guess when your mother told you if you swallowed a seed it would grow in your stomach she wasn't far wrong, huh? Wow, I wonder how they got it out of there?

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

ha ha! Cute! :)

Kelly said...

I'm not much for whiskey and I SURE don't want "wee whiskey"!! That's just nasty sounding!

I had to laugh at the first one. Who's to say who stinks? The driver?? There have been times I've been near someone with so much perfume/cologne/aftershave on that it's gagged me. Not a bad odor, but offensive just the same.

Suzanne Jones said...

Aw, bless Z. But yuk to a couple of the others :0)

Hope you don't mind me asking, but did the dvd arrive?

XX

GABY said...

Very funny, specially the X.

Thanks for commenting on my blog about The Running Dream. I had to return the comment...I also have a injury but not on my leg but on my arm. I still feel bad about it but I'm recovering very well. That's why I thought about reading this book....maybe it would made me good.

Misha said...

Another hilarious post! :)
W - OMG!

Short Poems said...

Thank you so much for all your amazing posts. love them!
Happy 2011, Witty Pet :)
Hugs
Marinela x

Betty Manousos @ CUT AND DRY said...

Funny!! haha!
Thanks for the giggle.
B xx

Dizzy C said...

The story about Granny's wee will stay with me all day now LOL

carol

naida said...

lol!! OMG the whisky one is sooo gross! And shame on that Italian man with the aunt!

http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/

Jenners said...

I just can't get over the fact that pea plant was growing in the man's lungs!

Alexia561 said...

People are too funny! Think the one about the bank robber is my favorite!

Sanand said...

That was really an interesting list that you've put together, must say.

Wish you a great year ahead in 2011.

purplume said...

ha ha like the joke. Thanks for the warning about the book.