A JAR OF PANDA URINE? AS SURE AS EGGS ARE EGGS.

PETTY WITTER POST.

Well it didn't make any of the national papers but ......

Petty Witter and Husband dearest are proud to show a photograph of their great-nephew born on the 29th of December 2010.

THE GUARDIAN.

Sounds like this driver could have used a satnav system or at least asked for directions.

A 72-year-old man was rescued on Christmas day by police after spending three days and nights driving around the M4 motorway, trying to find his way home.

(Reported missing by his family) Mr Bellazrak was traced through the number plate recognition computer which had recorded him driving around in numerous towns in Berkshire, Buckinghamshire and Oxfordshire. - (27/12/2010)

THE TELEGRAPH.

And talking of Satnav systems - they now have a list of celebrities waiting to have their voices added. Personally, no matter whose voice is booming out telling the driver to take the next left, I find them irritating and it seems I am not alone.

There can be few motorists who have not been tempted to hurl a satnav system out of the window after it has guided the car into a jam.

However, navigation devices could in future know when they have upset the driver and react accordingly (with flowers and chocolates?).

"You could devise a system which would see how a driver was feeling at the time and concentrating" said Professor Robinson (head of emotional robotics at Cambridge university). "If a driver was stressed it could (give them a nice head and shoulder massage?) stop mobile phone from ringing, turn the the radio off and even stop giving instructions until the driver had recovered his composure." (And no before you ask these devices cannot be installed into your husband/wife no matter how desirable that might be) - David Millward (30/12/2010)

As if all that Christmas shopping wasn't enough, many shops started their sales on Boxing Day (26th December) - many as early as 7am with some people (largely woman) queueing from midnight.

The average British woman spends eight months of her life bargain-hunting according to a poll.

A survey of 4,000 women found that they spent up 20 minutes of each of their eight shopping trips a month rooting through clothes racks for the best deals.

Nearly 40 minutes a week were taken up looking for bargains being offered in supermarkets, and 23 minutes a week were spent online in the hunt for the best deals. - (29/12/2010)

Now I hate the thought of being offensive to anyone but surely this is political correctness gone mad.

Police have been banned from using the phrase 'sure as eggs are eggs' * in case it offends women with fertility problems, a senior officer has claimed.

Writing on a popular blog (click HERE for the actual post), the whisteblower, said colleagues had been ordered not to use the expression on 'diversity' grounds. - John Bingham (01/01/2011)

England - increasingly a Nanny State**?

Stairs in stations and public buildings could be adapted to play tunes as people stand on each step, making them 'fun' to climb, a government report has suggested.

Encouraging people to take the stairs instead of lifts and escalators could cut obesity and increase public fitness.

The suggestion was made by the Behavioural Insights Team (BIT) at the Cabinet Office, a group of (pompous, self righteous) economists and scientists who are devising ways to change public behaviour without passing new laws.

Its work is central to (Prime minister) David Cameron's promise to end nanny state government and put more faith in people to make their own choices (by creating yet another level of bureaucracy who won't tell us what to do, only suggest it?  Sounds like a nanny state to me). - James Kirkup (01/01/2011) READ FULL ARTICLE to see some other ways BIT hopes to 'nudge'us into being more responsible.

* Absolutely certain.

** A government perceived as having excessive interest in or control over the welfare of its citizens, especially in the enforcement of extensive public health and safety regulations.

Isn't it illegal to take perishable foodstuffs abroad without proper permission? Perhaps this passenger should have purchased a ticket for his 'companion'.

An airline passenger tried to take a 10lb frozen turkey on a flight from Britain.

The holidaymaker planned to board a plane at Cardiff airport with the bird in his hand luggage.

When security staff challenged him, he said "Why are you making a fuss - will it thaw at 30,000ft?"

The turkey was packed to provide a festive meal for the traveller after arriving in Malaga as he was "worried that he couldn't find the right bird in Spain." - (30/12/2010)

THE TIMES.

(31/12/2010)

And whilst on the subject of planes .....

A company that offers couples the chance to make love while flying above the clouds has been grounded.

For the past two years Mile High Flights has offered the service from about six hundred and forty pounds, but the Civil Aviation Authority has refused to renew its licence.

And so onto another form of transport - buses.

A box of kittens, a decorated Christmas tree and four thousand pounds in cash were just a few of the staggering array of strange belongings left on buses in the past year. National Express logs more than 50,000 pieces of lost luggage every year.

Other finds have included a selection of false limbs, the same tuba five times n different buses, a set of false teeth ... attached to a zimmer frame and a jar of panda urine.


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