8 Oct 2010

AN F TO J OF SILLY STORIES.

F is for fading. Police Officers in Greater Manchester have been ordered to stop washing their trousers so often to keep them from fading. Officers said the new dark blue uniforms were losing colour quickly and turning grey therefore they had been instructed to clean them less often to stop the colour running.

G is for gulls. Postmen are refusing to deliver mail in a road in Paignton, Devon, because of attacks ..... by groups of up to 20 seagulls. Local residents are attempting to protect themselves from the birds with umbrellas.

H is for hamburger. A spate of jaw injuries has been blamed on a trend for eating over-sized hamburgers. Professor Hsu Ming-Iun of the Yang-Ming University School of Dentistry said the problems only started when fast food restaurants began serving burgers more than 8cm high.

I is for ice-cream. Ice-cream it seems can trigger emotions linked to its origins or so says a survey which found:
Eating ice cream made in Cornwall with its waves of dairy creaminess creates a "Cornish state of mind" - relaxed, happy and stress free. Eating ice cream from Scotland with its sweet, milky taste conjures up feelings of indulgence.
American-style ice cream, which contains chunks or pieces, results in feeling "frenetic and busy"- a bit like a "modern teenager".
Italian gelato, with its swirls, creates feelings of sophistication and indulgence, and conjures up images of Naples as being "bright and interesting".

J is for jellied eels. A 2ft-thick sandwich filled with 17 British foods including jellied eels, Marmite, Cheshire cheese and Yorkshire pudding has been made by bakers.

20 comments:

Bibliophile By the Sea said...

ThIs was hysterical. Those seagulls can be nasty!!!

Misha1989 said...

Your posts make my day! Had a good laugh.

brandileigh2003 said...

Good stuff!!

Brandi from Blkosiner’s Book Blog

Melissa Gill said...

Great, now I'm laughing hysterically at my desk and my boss is giving me dirty looks. Just kidding. These are sooooo funny. I'm glad you followed up the Ice Cream with Jellied Eels though, because I was getting a horrible craving for something sweet and creamy.

Christina Lee said...

Hi there!

Well, I guess I'm frenetic and busy, like a teenager!

chitra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chitra said...

Jellied eels , hearing for the first time.Your post made an interesting read.

Kristina Barnes♥ said...

Rofl! xD

I loved the seagulls one -- hey, they can be vicious! Those nasty buggers tried to destroy the humans with their poop bombs. :s

SG said...

Nice one. Info on seagulls reminds of the Hitchcock movie, The Birds.

Janna Qualman said...

What a fun post! And what crazy stories. ;)

Thanks for visiting my blog today! It's Friday morning here in the US... I hope you have a great weekend!

awitchtrying said...

Ha ha! How appropriate that American ice cream makes people feel frenetic and busy! And what do the gulls do to the people? This is all so weird and wonderfully funny!

Vivienne said...

We had seagulls at the school I was teaching. One of the teachers could not go out in the playground at breaktime as they would swoop at him and peck his hair all the time. All because he helped put a fallen chick back in their nest. That is gratitude for you.

Alyce said...

When we visited Manchester the first person we spoke to was a police officer, who took one look at my husband carrying four bags and me carrying none and said, "Why aren't you carrying anything?" The answer was that I had back and neck problems and wasn't supposed to carry anything. :)

Then he gave us directions to the university. Funny about the uniforms!

Suko said...

Fun post, Petty! I adore your sense of humor (or humour)!

Nikki-ann said...

Brilliant post!

A colleague of mine got attacked by a seagull near the library in town. A few other people did too, so it made our local newspaper, but they didn't seem to bother the mailmen! :D

Kelly said...

Ewwww on the jellied eels!! I'd rather have the ice cream (with or without chunks).

Fun entry!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

I love the policeman story...and the American ice cream. I don't know about any other Americans, but I feel especially teenage-ish. :)

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Oooh, I haven't had Marmite, Cheshire cheese, and Yorkshire pudding in years. Not sure I would like them all together in a sandwich . . . along with pork pies.

And could you imagine the fat and calorie count? ;)

Heather said...

prehaps it's not the washing, but the standing around in the sun, or cheap dye used in the process.

Loved the whole post. Thanks

GMR said...

Oh, so they would rather the officers have dirty clothes than faded clothes, am I reading that right? O_O LOL on the gull gang....as sad as it may seem, I bet they are pretty frightening. OMG on the hamburgers, YUM on the ice cream and no comment on the eels ~shudders~. Thanks for sharing! ^_^