20 Jun 2010


Recent research shows that a whopping 41% of English men will not stand up on a bus for a pregnant woman in case she isn't actually pregnant.

"Such a shame," I uttered to Husband dearest, "I think it's nice for a man to offer his seat to a woman pregnant or not."

His reply "A bit of a mind-field really as you are just as likely to be told to 'go away' (or words to that effect) and called a patronising 'so-and-so' (once again I'm being polite) as you are to be thanked."
Surely not?

But then I recalled an instance a few years ago when Husband dearest offered his seat to a rather elderly woman. His thanks? Certainly not a "thank you" - he was rewarded with a 'clout' to his ankle by said woman's walking stick and the words "Do you think I'm so old I'm not capable of standing and need (looking him up and down as if he was something nasty she'd stepped in) the likes of you to give me your seat?"
My point? Despite what many would have us believe, I think there are more gentlemen out there then we think, many of them are simply scared of doing the 'wrong thing' and being accused of being a sexist pig (why a pig I'll never know. Why not a sexist sheep or a sexist horse? Are pigs particularly sexist animals? You tell me.)

Anyway, today being FATHERS DAY (which incidentally only started to be celebrated in the early 20th century) I thought I'd say a big thank you to all the decent men out there.


Jessica said...

hmmm when I was pregnant the only people that were rude on public transport were old women. I think they realised they had a bit of competion.

chitra said...

In India in most of the South Indian buses there is reservation of seats for ladies. But even pregnant ladies or ones carrying small babies board the bus women offer heir seats to them

chitra said...

In India in most of the South Indian buses there is reservation of seats for ladies. But even pregnant ladies or ones carrying small babies board the bus women offer heir seats to them

Karen said...

Here Here!! To all the "good guys" out there!

Valerie said...

Here in the US public transport isn't very common (only in a very few cities such as New York) so I can't say whether men would be likely to give up their seats to the pregnant or elderly women. I can say, though, when I was pregnant, male employees would be more likely to offer help out to the parking lot (such as loading groceries in the car).

I'm sure your husband's happy to be home from the hospital! Hope his day goes well.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Just goes to show how little used common courtesy is used today. :(

Its really sad that people react that way to manners-I once heard of a man that opened a door for a woman with her arms full and she yelled at him for it. So frustrating that these are the reactions-after all, they're just trying to be polite. Unless I've missed something.

Anyway, Happy Father's Day!

Dorte H said...

I have never met a sexist pig, but I have also met kind and polite men who dared not help a woman because they feared she would be rude and ungrateful. So stupid, really, and difficult to see why bad behaviour should make you a better feminist.

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Kelly said...

Your husband is right and that's really a shame (not that he's right, but that polite men are often scorned).

I always appreciate having a door held for me and do the same for others. It's just proper manners, in my opinion. (same would go for the bus business if we had public transport where I live)

awitchtrying said...

Excellent point! It's a confusing world when we try to define 'gender roles' but I think it would be a better world if it just came down to the fact that it's nice to be nice. We should offer pregnant women our seat, or older women, or older men for that matter. Even people who just look like they've had a long day. Alanis Morissette has a song called "A Man" on the album Under Rug Swept that speaks to this exact issue.

Anonymous said...

Gosh people are so rude! I think a man should offer his seat to a woman whether she is pregnant or not...It is a shame that rudeness has caused more rudeness if that makse sense...I like the new Template!

GMR said...

I tend to agree...they may be hard to find, but they're out there. Will certainly pass the father's day sentiments to dear old dad....happy day to you and yours!

Traci said...

I think that you are right but I still cheer your husband on for being gallant.

My husband is still a door-holding man and he is teaching our son the same. I just hope he doesn't get pummeled by a Monty Python style gang of stick-weilding old ladies.

purplume said...

I haven't thought about this, but as a person who once mistakenly thought a lady was pregnant, I have spent the rest of my life avoiding that error again. I understand their hesitation. Maybe they could just vacate the seat, not offer it to the person?

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Your husband is right.
I think our society is getting ruder :(
If w e focus less on ourselves and more on those around us, I think is the best way to rid ourselves of rudeness.
~B xx

P.s. I'm sorry for being late to comment.
This week has been very busy..but better late than never right.LOL!