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http://www.thepetitionsite.com/413/275/845/discarded-elastic-bands-harm-hedgehogs/?z00m=21391524&redirectID=1441386407

Postards to hand to the postie and letterbox size stickers are also available by email from info@britishhedgehogs.org.uk
i.o


10 May 2010

FOOLISH FELONS.

It's criminal (pun intended) just how stupid these thieves are.

* A thief wasn't so flush when he was caught short making a getaway. He was forced to stop for a wee - and he left his £600 haul on the cistern of the public toilet in Klagenfurt, Austria.

(My favourite) * Two would-be robbers tried to speed up their heist in Connecticut, USA, by ringing up the bank in advance telling them to have the cash ready for them. When they arrived, they were surprised to find police waiting for them in the car park.

* A masked gunmen who tried to rob a bank in Kirchheim, Austria, turned up on it's early closing day. Staff - who were undertaking a training session - laughed as the man, who was wearing a mask of President Obama, banged on the door to be let in.

* A drunken thief who stole a bottle of schnapps from a grocery store in Wyoming, USA, attempted to hide in a nearby building, only to discover it was the ...... local police station.

* A thief who stuffed 75 glass bottles of body lotion down his trousers failed to make a clean getaway. Police in Massachusetts, USA, caught him because he was so weighed down by the five gallons of lotion that he couldn't run. (Brings a whole new meaning to the Michael Jackson song, Smooth Criminal. Body lotion - smooth. Ok so it wasn't that funny.)

(Talking of music) * Police are feeling confident about catching a thief spotted on camera snatching cash from the till of a music shop in Christchurch, New Zealand. Just moments before the robbery, the hapless thief had reserved a Pink Floyd album at the store and left staff with his name AND address.

* Lovesick crook, Stephen Bennet, 20, became so attracted to a woman he robbed that he returned to her home in Ohio, USA, two hours after the crime to ask her out on a date. Unsurprisingly, he was promptly arrested.

(Just to prove that it isn't only Austria, New Zealand and America who have brainless criminals.)

* The manager of an Asda store in Lancashire, England, thought there was something familiar about an applicant he was interviewing for a job as a self-stacker. Then he remembered he'd spotted Simon Holden, 22, on CCTV footage earlier in the week stealing four boxes of lager off the supermarket's shelves. (Mmm, I wonder if he got the job?)

(I shouldn't have laughed but I did) * In England, some Essex jewel thieves chose the wrong getaway driver in John Smith, 18. He has no forearms and needed someone to change gear for him. He drove 30 miles before crashing.

(Back across 'the pond') * On-the-run bank robber, Mark White, 32, was arrested after he hitched a ride with an undercover police officer in Michigan.

29 comments:

brizmus said...

Okay, so that was kind of hilarious, really. . .

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

Foolish felons. Killingly hilarious!
Enjoyed it!
Hope you're having a nice day.

Betty xx

Daylight said...

Hilarious post.

Heard a few funny ones as well:

Graham Price of South Wales stole from the bank where he worked. Nice guy left a note in the safe: "Borrowed, seven million pounds" - signed "Graham Price."

Just one more, pls:

In Middletown, Ohio, Callie Rough was arrested for shoplifting from a General Store with her two young children in tow. Among the stolen items was a book, 101 Ways to Be a Great Mom

Nina said...

Fun! Those thiefs are too funny! :)

jason evans said...

We occasionally have thieves caught here waiting for trains.

Kissed by an Angel said...

Loved all of these!!! So funny and really stupid!!!!
xxxx

Sara said...

Have you ever heard of the Darwin Awards?

They're stories similar to these that are funny, but mostly leave you slapping your forehead, wondering how anyone could be that stupid.

I recommend it.

Chris and Jess said...

Very interesting article, I have to say I feel you missed a potential pun for your Essex getaway driver...something along the lines of 'He was 'armless' (terrible I know!)

Ive encountered some equally bungling crooks in my time and could add a few to that list! lol

Chris

NabilaHazirah said...

funny thieves! the pictures are cute

xx

Arti said...

what a hilarious post..had a good time reading all of them !!! :-D

Jen said...

There used to be a TV show devoted to stupid criminals. The stories are hilarious. There was one guy that took his dog along on a job. The dog jumped out of the truck so the guy left without him. The dog's tags led the police to his home.

chitra said...

A very nice post. made my mind lighter before retiring for the night. Good night..

Christiejolu said...

LOL! I love that the robbers called the bank to have $ ready for them...what dumb asses! LOL! Thank Goodness for dumb people to give us so much entertainment.

Vivienne said...

LOL - where do you find these!

Kelly said...

I love these! (and I laughed at your pun)

Amazing how stupid people can be!!

Tracie said...

I always love reading about how stupid criminals can be. My son thinks it's hilarious too.

Dorte H said...

I have probably said it before, but this proves how important it is for crime writers not to write too realistic stories - their readers would never believe them!

Pam said...

That was so funny. We have a show called World's Dumbest in the US that features dumb criminals from around the world. I love it!

MOLLYC said...

It just isn't a good day without the latest news items from Petty Witter. How you dig up these things is unbelievable. Hope you are fine. love to you! m

Myne Whitman said...

These all got me laughing so hard.

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing. These are hilarious!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Hehe, talk about karma! Where do you find these stories anyway?? They're fantastic!

Trac~ said...

OMGoodness - too funny! My favorite is the one where they called ahead of time and the police were waiting for them! HA!

Marie said...

LOL :-) Great post. Made me laugh away my last few minutes of work.

Jenners said...

I suppose that if I ever took up a life of crime, I would probably be one of the felons in one of these posts!

Alyce said...

It's amazing how ridiculously stupid people can be!

Aine Butler-Smith said...

I am always amazed that no matter how many of these stories circulate that there are still so many people who just seem to never learn. Incredible.

GMR said...

Seriously....to these people really think before they do these things? Oh wait..probably not...as they were commiting criminal activities anyway. Gotta love the way some people work... ^_^

Alexia561 said...

Don't know where you find such amazingly funny tidbits, but please keep them coming! Love the one about the robbers who called ahead to have the money waiting for them! *L*