- You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.* - Stewart Francis.
- Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly - Tim Vine.
- I was raised an only child, which really annoyed my sister - Will Marsh.
- You know your'e working class when your tv is bigger than your book case - Rob Beckett.
- I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y - Chris Turner.
- I took part in the sun tanning olympics - I just got bronze - Tim Vine.
- Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating ** - George Ryegold.
- I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting - Stewart Francis.
- I waited an hour for my starter so I complained. It's not rocket salad ** - Lou Sanders.
- My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism .... she wouldn't fancy her chances - Nish Kumar.
* 'Pop Star' Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham and footballer husband David Beckham, notorious for naming their children what are largely considered odd names - their first child is named Brooklyn as that is where he was conceived.
** Sorry I just don't get these jokes.
So, I've told you my favourite, now it's your turn to tell me yours.
That was a good one Tracey!
ReplyDeleteLet me share a few I heard from my kids recently:
1.If lions, tigers and cheetah are in a race what happens?
Lions lie, tigers tie and cheetahs cheat!
2. What is black and white and red all over?
It has two possible answers:
A. A zebra road kill
B. A newspaper
Have a great weekend Tracey. Tell us what you did this weekend.
Lol. I don't have any, but I agree with the first one. They do give awful names to their children. :)
ReplyDeleteThe first few were pretty funny. I don't understand #9 at all, but I could just be slow.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite from this list was #3!
ReplyDeleteBack when we did the "favorite jokes" posts I didn't think about my favorite limmerick:
There once was a fellow from Yuma
Who told an elephant joke to a puma
Now under hot western skies
His skeleton lies
For the puma had no sense of huma
Lol Tracy, thanks for sharing these.
ReplyDeleteI can't think of any offhand but we recently listened to a comedy show by Dane Cook and it was hysterical.
Hi Tracy,
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun post, I loved all the top ten and I'm sorry, but I 'got' them all, I must have a disgusting sense of humour!
My least favourite was the top joke about Posh and Becks!
Being a bookaholic, my favourite has to be #4.
I am useless at remembering jokes, but there are some great comedians about these days. One of my all time favourites is Michael McIntyre, I have seen him live a few times (and been picked on for sitting in the front row!).
Yvonne
#9 is a play on the phrase "it's not rocket science", but the key to understanding it is that "rocket" is what Aussies call arugula. Hopefully it makes more sense now?
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! I love Tim Vine's jokes and I have to say, I did like the rocket salad one but my favourite is the Stewart Francis one about the documentary on shipbuilding. This is a great post, and perfect for the day I've had! xxx
ReplyDeleteI hear drums and a cymbal crash... ;)
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say my fave was #3. I am an only. LOL
Enjoyed your "humerus" post! These jokes are great--I don't think I can match them (I am not good at collecting jokes).
ReplyDeleteI don't usually pay a lot of attention to jokes, but these are hilarious!
ReplyDelete#3 is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! My fave is #4 about the bookcase, but #8 made me laugh too! Sadly, I didn't really get #7 or #9 either. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y".
ReplyDeleteI like this
However not to forget the frown watching porn
I can't think of a favorite right now- if one hits me I will come back and share it. My favorites from this list were #2 and 3 and I didn't understand #7 or 9. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete~Jess
I think I like 5 best. I'm always up for a good pun.
ReplyDelete