THE EASTER FLOWER.

The Easter Flower by CLAUDE MCKAY.

Far from this foreign Easter damp and chilly

My soul steals to a pear-shaped plot of ground,

Where gleamed the lilac-tinted Easter lily

Soft-scented in the air for yards around;

Alone, without a hint of guardian leaf!

Just like a fragile bell of silver rime,

It burst the tomb for freedom sweet and brief

In the young pregnant year at Eastertime;

And many thought it was a sacred sign,

And some called it the resurrection flower;

And I, a pagan, worshiped at its shrine,

Yielding my heart unto its perfumed power.

Today's post is part of a weekly meme, FreeVerse hosted by Cara @ OOH ... BOOKS!

THE SOOKIE STACKHOUSE BOOKS.

Having read all the nine books in the Sookie Stackhouse series I thought I'd review them as one rather than separately and in order to do this decided on a different format to my usual book reviews using some of the questions posed by family and friends. I hope you enjoy it.

THE SOOKIE STACKHOUSE SERIES OF BOOKS by CHARLAINE HARRIS.

Q. Haven't I heard the name Sookie Stackhouse somewhere before?

A. Yes, she is the heroine of the tv series TRUE BLOOD.

Q. What exactly are the books about?

A. Sookie Stackhouse (pictured to the right with Bill as they are portrayed in the tv series) is a small-time cocktail waitress in small-town Louisiana. She's quiet, keeps to herself, and doesn't get out much. Not because she's not pretty. She is. It's just that, well, Sookie has this sort of 'disability'. She can read minds. And that doesn't make her too dateable. And then along comes Bill: he's tall, dark and handsome - and Sookie can't 'hear' a word he's thinking. He's exactly the type of guy she's been waiting for all her life.

But Bill has a disability of his own: he's a vampire. Worse than that, he hangs with a seriously creepy crowd, with a reputation for trouble - of the murderous kind ....

..... From the outer back cover of Dead until Dark, the first book in the series.

Q. So it's about vampires, right?

A. Yes, the books contain vampires. After the invention of an artificial blood product, True Blood, the vampires have revealed themselves to the world at large and now have the right to legally exist.

Q. Whoa, you said nine books. What are they called?

A. There's DEAD UNTIL DARK, LIVING DEAD IN DALLAS, CLUB DEAD, DEAD TO THE WORLD, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL, DEFINITELY DEAD, ALL TOGETHER DEAD, FROM DEAD TO WORSE and lastly DEAD AND GONE.

Q. Can they be read independently?

A. You could do as each one brings you pretty much up to speed about what happened in the previous novel(s) but I think you'll get more out of them by reading them in order.

Q. OK, so which was your favourite?

A. That's a hard one but probably the last book, Dead And Gone, as it has it all - romance and adventure AND it's sad as well as funny.

Q. But what's it about?

A. I don't want to give too much away but .......

What Sookie doesn't realise is that there is a far greater danger than this killer threatening Bon Temps (The small town she lives in): a race of unhuman beings, older, more powerful and far more secretive than the vampires or the werewolves, is preparing for war. And Sookie is an all-too-human pawn in their ages-old battle......

.... An extract from the inner front cover of Dead And Gone, the 9th book in the series.

Q. So there are other out of this world characters as well as vampires?

A. Yeah, we got to meet shapeshifters and not just werewolves but other were-animals. Then there was a goblin, witches, fairies, a demon, and, oh yes, a britlingen .

Q. Which character was your favourite?

A. Well there was fairy, Claudine - a truly modern 'kick-ass' heroine. I also got to really like Eric who, for want of a better word, was the head vampire in the area. Then there was the cat, Bob, who wasn't what he at first seemed. But most of all, there was Bubba - I just loved the idea of a huge rock legend coming back as a vampire though not a very good one.

Q. TV series or books?

A. Most definitely the books. They are full of so much more humour and a lot less sex.

Q. Better than the TWILIGHT books?

A. Better by far. The vampires are much more traditional, the stories are so much more grown up and are extremely humorous in places - altogether more cleverly written.

Q. You'd recommend them then?

A. Most definitely.

All nine books were purchased through the BOOK PEOPLE catalogue.

WOT! NO EASTER EGG.

OK, OK, I confess! I'm not religious but I do love Easter. And why do I love Easter? In one word - EGGS or, to be exact, CHOCOLATE EGGS. And so with Easter Sunday only 6 days away I thought I'd post this.

Husband dearest and I rarely bother with Saint Valentine's Day but, bless him, every Easter Sunday without fail there is a chocolate egg waiting with my name on it. Never a bar or a box of chocolates though we all know that you get more chocolate this way, it's always an egg as they somehow taste different - don't ask me why, they just do.

This year however things may be different as this year he had 19 teeth removed less than a week ago and so is feeling rather battered and bruised.

SO being the good wife that I am, I thought I'd come up with a list of suitable (and not so suitable) alternatives that he could purchase on-line though (and I'm sure he'll have thought of this himself) there are, of course, similar sites where an egg may be purchased.

* Not content with plain-old shop bought peanut butter anymore, I saw this PEANUT BUTTER MAKER advertised at the bargain price of £29.95. But wait for it ...... it doesn't just make peanut butter, it makes "any other nut butter" as well.

Not really a present for me but I'm sure my teddy bear, Necessity, would love this one.

** A Prague travel agency is offering sightseeing tours ... for teddy bears! For £80 (Just a little more expensive than an egg I'll grant you) they'll take your bear around the city and photograph it to show you where it's been AND for an extra £50, they will even give it a massage and aromatherapy treatments.

*** An emergency bra that doubles as, not one but two, gas masks which as it's inventor, Elena Bodnar, informs us "Can provide a person with a crucial window for escape".

But not only that, during the forthcoming UK IG NOBEL TOUR, Bodnar will also set out to demonstrate that "The emergency bra is not only an effective, economical and readily available personal-protective device but that, first and foremost, it is a beautiful piece of lingerie".

**** Definitely more expensive that any chocolate egg, an android.

Part of a project that began in in 2005, when Kerstin Dautenhahn, professor of artificial intelligence at Hertfordshire, was working on a European-wide piece of research, the aim of which was to create a "cognitive robot companion" for humans. (To find out more and see a video clip, click HERE).

***** As seen in this month's BOOK PEOPLE catalogue, a much more reasonably priced, book. Priced at only £2.99 (plus p&p), not just any book but THE BARACK & MICHELLE OBAMA PAPER DOLL & CUT-OUT BOOK.

And now for something that will no doubt please the 'green' amongst you. Not that I'm against being environmentally friendly you understand, goodness only knows I love recycling but, for me, this is perhaps going a bit too far.

'Green' underwear, for as The Observer newspaper informs us:

Received wisdom tells us that cotton, the main underwear fibre, is the type of natural material we need in these delicate regions. Received wisdom is wrong. Although cotton covers less than 1% of the earth's landmass, it soaks up 25% of all pesticides and herbicides with a single pair of pants using 10ml of the stuff.

BUT not to worry, help is at (err) hand for GREENKNICKERS "offers zero-carbon pants from ... recycled sources".

TOILET HUMOUR.

Mention the English to anyone from another country and surveys show they generally think of these three things:

(1) Our teeth. Ok so we haven't got the best teeth in the world and aren't exactly known for our 'Hollywood' smiles but things are changing.

(2) I'll give you this one, yes, the weather is of national interest to us - in fact I'd even go as far as to say, if moaning about it became an Olympic sport, we'd be up there with the best of them.

(3) Our sense of humour which people of other nations tend to think of as quite lavatorial in nature.

And so, not wishing to disappoint I give you these fine examples which are weirdly wonderful and yet true.

* Jennifer Bliss was shot in the leg in Florida, USA, while sitting on the loo, when the gun belonging to a person in the next cubicle fell out of a holster. Fortunately she wasn't badly hurt.

** A girl in Hungary had an amazing escape after she was saved by ...... a wee! Beata Goenzc, nine, got up in the middle of the night to go to the lavatory when a lightening bolt struck her home in the town of Kisbarapati - turning her just frequented metal bed into dust.

*** George Hudson, an 80-year-old chorister, sang himself free when trapped in a toilet in a Tumbridge Wells hospital. No one responded to the emergency cord so he sang a hymn to be heard.

And meanwhile in an attempt to be environmentally friendly ......

**** In a bid to combat water shortages, the Brazilian conservation group SOS Mata Atlantic have launched a series of tv adverts encouraging people to urinate in the shower. "If a household avoids even one flush a day, it could save 4,380 litres of water annually," said a spokesman.

***** In Japan, All Nippon Airways (ANA) has come up with a unique way of reducing carbon emissions - by insisting passengers take a wee before flying! "Passengers with empty bladders weigh less, so we use less fuel," said a spokesperson.

THE DOUBLE EAGLE.

THE DOUBLE EAGLE by JAMES TWINING.
In Paris a priest is murdered, the killers dumping his mutilated body into the Seine. Only he has taken a secret with him to his death. A secret that reveals itself during an autopsy and resurrects the spectre of a seventy-year-old heist.

Jennifer Browne, a young and ambitious FBI agent is assigned the case. This is her last chance to kick start a career that has stalled after one fatal error of judgement three years before.

Her investigation uncovers a daring robbery from Fort Knox and Tom Kirk, a brilliant young art thief, is her prime suspect.

Tom caught between his desire to get out of the game and his partner's insistence that he complete one last job for the criminal mastermind Cassius, finds himself on the run in a race against time to clear his name. A race that takes him from London to Paris, Amsterdam to Istanbul in a search for the real thieves and the legendary Double Eagle.

...... From the outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (from the profile): They were late.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: Only one eyelash remained where it had fluttered down from his briefly unmasked face to the floor. It glinted black in the moonlight.

A wanabee DA VINCI CODE - sadly this in no way compares with the Dan Brown novel.

Nowhere near as thrilling a thriller as it thinks it is, The Double Eagle is what I can only describe as a fairly average read with some equally average characters and though it was good to see that one of the main characters was a woman who was both strong and resourceful, sadly this didn't make up for the fact that, on the whole, they were weakly written.

Not particularly good at working out clues as to 'who done it' and why, even I managed to work out the plot without too much trouble. That said there were one or two surprises in the last 60 or so pages when the pace picked up slightly though this went nowhere near to making up for what was an otherwise disappointing read.

Purchased from a PDSA charity shop, The Double Eagle was the first book read for the TYPICALLY BRITISH READING CHALLENGE.

TYPICALLY BRITISH BOOK CHALLENGE 2010.

To be honest book challenges didn't really hold any real appeal to me as so many of them seemed to be so restrictive but not wanting to miss out on the fun that so many bloggers seemed to experience having taken part in these things last December I decided to take part in my first challenge which didn't last too long and was very seasonal it being a Christmas Book Challenge.

As a challenge I quite enjoyed it but thought I could have been better prepared in my choice of book as partly due to there being less seasonal library stock available than I had anticipated I ended up reading three book (LAST CHRISTMAS by Julia Williams, A CHRISTMAS PROMISE by Anne Perry and CHRISTMAS ON THE HOME FRONT by Mike Brown) none of which were truly enjoyable or inspiring.

Having had the experience (with very little of the fun) I thought that would be an end to that but, never say never, I've once again found myself wishing to take part in another book challenge thanks once again to Vivienne over at SERENDIPITY who is also taking part in this years TYPICALLY BRITISH READING CHALLENGE which is being hosted by Book Chic City.

The 'rules' as such are simple -

Timeline: 1st Jan 2010~ 31st Dec 2010. Only books started on January 1st count towards this challenge.

Details:

1. Anyone can join. You don't need a blog to participate.

2. There are four levels:
• "Put The Kettle On" – Read 2 Typically British novels.
• "Gordon Bennett" – Read 4 Typically British novels.
• "Bob's Your Uncle" – Read 6 Typically British novels.
• "Cream Crackered" – Read 8 Typically British novels.


3. Any book format counts. Must be fiction not non-fiction.

4. You don't have to select your books ahead of time, you can just add them as you go. Also if you do list them upfront then you can change them, nothing is set in stone!

5. The books you choose can crossover into other challenges.

6. If you decide to participate in this challenge please use the link set up, this way others can find their way back and join in the fun. A button is available for this purpose, simply click on the above link for the Typically British Reading Challenge to obtain it.

7. Obviously only British authors count!

So what level will I be aiming for and what books (if any) have I decided on?

With one book read (Double Eagle by James Twining -I'll be reviewing it tomorrow), another (Hetty Feather by Jacqueline Wilson) already started, and another two waiting (The Long Song by Andrea Levy and Winston's War by Michael Dobbs) I'm hoping to aim for at least 'Gordon Bennett' if not 'Bob's Your Uncle' but who knows I may even achieve 'Cream Crackered' status.

TRUE OR FALSE?

Let me start by saying that in no way shape or form do I condone the malicious people who make hoax 999 calls to our emergency services at the cost of, not only, great financial expense but sometimes at the expense of life. However that said I had to have a chuckle at these individuals who did call for 'back up'. Something for which I feel quite guilty as part of me thinks whilst there was nothing malicious in their intent and, other than wasting the time of the emergency service operator, they were causing no real harm but, on the other hand, supposing by them wasting this time someone with a real emergency was not able to get through to make that all important emergency call? A lot of if's and but's I'm sure you'll agree and so it was after much thought that I decided to go ahead with this post.

Some of these were actual calls received by emergency service operators ...... or were they? All you have to do is decide which ones (if any) are true and which (if any) are false. Answers at the bottom of this post tomorrow.

(1) A 46-year-old teacher from London complained to a 999 operator that her dog was barking too loudly and wagging it's tail too quickly and she was fed up with it, could they suggest how to make it stop.

(2) The operator at an emergency call centre wasn't sure what to say when a 76-year-old gentleman from Swansea called. He was complaining the children in the playground at the school opposite his house were making too much noise. "I opened my window, and now I can't hear the telly," he told her. "Um, close the window," she suggested.

(3) When a woman couldn't get through to a tv show (Strictly Come Dancing) to place a vote for her favourite (actor, Tom Chambers) in the final, she called 999 to complain.

(4) In July 2008, 15 people called 999 to report UFOs they'd seen in the sky over Cornwall. It turned out the spectacle was a laser show, part of a concert.

(5) When a woman in Florida, USA, called the emergency operator saying she was stuck in her car with the window up in a car park, the 911 operator's advice was "Unlock the door, and pull up the handle."

(6) A man phoned Devon and Cornwall police in December 2008 to complain that his Chinese takeaway meal was late. He told the operator "I want you to prosecute the takeaway for ripping me off."

(7) A pet owner in Manchester told a 999 operator in December that her cat was "doing her head in," because it was playing with a ball of string. She stressed that it was an emergency because it had "been going on for two hours."

(8) A police officer in Michigan, USA, who ate a lump of marijuana he'd confiscated and kept after making an arrest, called the operator and confessed everything. Among his garbled sentences, he told the 911 operator: "We made brownies, and I think we're dead."

And now, as promised - THE ANSWERS.

Apart from numbers 1 and 2 which are false, the rest are true.

BLACK EYES AND BEETLES.

As well as for all my other blogger buddies out there, this one is especially for a work colleague of Husband dearest who it seems is one of the few who actually appreciate my jokes.

A woman goes to her doctors, sporting an impressive black eye.

"That looks nasty," says the doctor, "What happened?"

"Well," replies the woman, "I opened the door and a six foot beetle punched me in the face, blacking my eye."

"I see," says the doctor, "There are some really nasty bugs going around at this time of year."

WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?

There were so many arguments as to why I wouldn't blog.

One being "But I have nothing to say". Yeah, right! Now you can't shut me up.

And another, the main one, being "Who'd want to read anything I had to say?"

So today I'm pleased to be able to post that I've reached my 2000th visitor to Pen And Paper. 'Small fry' compared to the visitors some bloggers have passing through their blogs I know but I'm more than happy with that number and would like to say a huge thank you to each and everyone of you as well as pass on the this badge that I received from a blogger buddy who, though she doesn't blog herself, wanted to thank me for my blog. Please feel free to include it on your blog if you so wish as, in my friends words, "a reminder of the wonderful people who make up the jigsaw that is life".

EVERYBODY SAY "CHEESE!".

...... A common enough saying when one's having one's photograph taken but where did the phrase come from?

Despite much research, I still don't really know though perhaps the closest I've come to finding out is:

Photographers ask their subjects to "say cheese" because by pronouncing the word, the subjects mouths form into a smile as long as they hold the "ee" - Thanks ANSWERBAG for that snippet of information. I can verify you are correct in your reply in that you do indeed smile whilst prolonging the 'ee' in cheese.

I'm doing it again, aren't I? Planning a post and letting my mind wonder. Back to topic .....

As a bairn I loved cheese though it had to be English cheese (or at least, like DAIRYLEA TRIANGLES, produced for the UK market) - CHEDDAR, CHESHIRE or, beloved cheese of animated character, Wallace of WALLACE AND GROMIT fame, WENSLEYDALE.

However that all changed when I met Husband dearest who introduced me to the delights of more 'exotic' cheeses like the still very English STILTON as well as the (not quite so English) French BRIE and CAMEMBERT to name but a few.

Still not onto my post proper, I just wanted you to know I like cheese - cheese and pickle sandwiches, cheese on toast, cheesy pasta bake etc - but I'm not overly sure about cheese in this context.

A New York restaurateur is offering customers cheese made from ............ his wife's breast milk.

Daniel Angerer decided to experiment and posted a recipe - which includes 4 cups of milk, yoghurt, rennet and sea salt - for what he called Mother's Milk Cheese on his blog - as reported in the Sunday Sun.

Umm, breast milk cheese? Not something I'd personally like to sample so, swiftly moving on, how about Cheese Art?

Sourced from Full House magazine: 'Food artist' Prudence Staite has taken things to a whole new level by making sculptures of celebrities out of (you guessed) cheese.

Her work includes a bust of US president Barack Obama, a mosaic of Geordie lass and singer Cheryl Cole as well as a sculpture of burlesque dancer Dita Von Cheese, sorry, that's, Von Teese in her famous wine glass pose which you can view, courtesy of the BBC website, by clicking HERE.

And so on to another casualty of health and safety regulations, sad news from the world of sport.

Cheesed off (excuse the pun) competitors reckon it's the thin edge of the wedge.

But after more that 200 years of broken bones and twisted ankles, a historic cheese-rolling contest has been axed.

The wacky event, where locals chase 7lb wheels of DOUBLE GLOUCESTER down a one-in-two (I presume we are talking very steep here) hill, is held every May near the Cotswold village of Brockworth. But this year's Bank Holiday roll is off following worries over the expected 15,000 spectators and problems getting insurance - An edited version of an article by Richard Smith writing in the Daily Mirror.

Then, if you are anything like me and are beginning to think it couldn't possibly get any more strange - think again.No I'd never heard of it either but to find out click HERE and you'll meet Sarah who will tell you all about it ...... or perhaps not.

AS INSPIRED BY SAINT PATRICK.

I wasn't feeling particularly inspired poetry wise today until I came across some Saint Patrick's Day poems, one of which is:

St. Patrick's Day

Leprechauns peeking,
Around a willow tree,
Pussy willows waking,
Longing to be free.
Colleens and shamrocks
And castles old and gray,
Put them all together
To make St. Patrick's Day.

Found on a wonderful site called CANTEACH which offers some great resources to elementary workers, you can find some further Saint Patrick's Day poetry by clicking HERE.

And talking of links to poems Martha at A SENSE OF HUMOR IS ESSENTIAL posted another ode to the Irish on her blog, click HERE to view.


Today's post was part of FREEVERSE, a weekly feature hosted by Cara at OOH ... BOOKS!

HOW WILL I KNOW?

HOW WILL I KNOW? by SHEILA O'FLANAGAN.

Claire fell for Bill Hudson when she was just five years old. First they were best friends, then lovers, then husband and wife, then parents. But the love affair ended when tragedy struck and Bill was snatched away.

In the three years since, Claire has devoted her life to her daughter Georgia. But what teenager Georgia needs now Claire just can't give her - advice on boys. There's only one solution: Claire's going to have to start dating.

Claire's willing to try anything - from Internet Lonely Hearts to theatre trips with hunky wasp exterminators. What she hasn't reckoned on is that the people she meets will have their own complicated reasons for being there - and that her safe little world might be about to change in the most unexpected ways ...

... From the outer back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE: Claire woke up earlier than usual on the morning Georgia was due to go to summer camp for a month.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: She wasn't quite sure whether her high-heeled shoe caught on something on the glossy floor, or whether it was the way she'd moved towards him. All she knew was that, quite, suddenly, she was shooting forwards, tripping out of her shoe, and shrieking as her full glass of red wine spun out of her hand in an almost perfect arc .........

The main strand of this novel was the story between mother (Claire) and daughter (Georgia) who had one of those relationships where the mother seemed to view herself as more of a friend than a parent - I found both of these characters both bland and irritating in the extreme.

Much more interesting, believable and worthy of the book were grandparents, Eileen and Con, and friends, Eavan and Glenn whose stories also featured quite heavily though not nearly enough for my liking.

Overlong and predictable, with certain elements to the plot that were totally beyond belief and with an ending that, quite frankly, made me want to hold my head in my hands and groan out load, there was still something (what to be honest is anybodies guess) about How Will I Know? that was fairly readable despite all it's many flaws. I don't know perhaps it was just a case of the right book at the right time, my still being fairly poorly at the time of reading and not really able to concentrate. Either way, this is not a book for the shelves, certainly not something I'd read again.

How Will I know? was purchased at an OXFAM charity shop.

TA-TA! I'M BACK AND ALL IS WELL.

Hijacked by adwear (I stand corrected, Adware), I've been unable to blog for most of the week-end but I'm pleased to say it's now sorted and Pooter and I have been reunited thanks to Husband dearest without whom I'd still be sitting here, wondering just what I'd done and, more importantly, how I could fix it as even I could tell that using that old trick of switching the machine off and then on again wasn't going to work.

Actually it was fairly scary as, all of a sudden, as if by magic, a clock appeared, the screen went blank and a voice boomed at me "BE MOTIVATED".

Oh dear !!!!! (Or words to that effect).

Not a violent person by nature, I can't begin to tell you the things that went through my head with regard to the individual(s) who create such havoc. Ultimately though I just think its a huge shame that they don't put their 'talents' to good use instead of bad - enough said.

Assured by 'Blogger' that this could not be transmitted to any other blog, I, never-the-less, apologise for any inconvenience caused.

AND I wouldn't care but Thursday's offerings, in which I posted my take on some of the items to hit the papers, took me ages to do (and that was only the title). Still I suppose that's one of the good things about blogging, the post will still be there today and tomorrow and the next day and ..... the day after that.

That said, onto today's (which is, of course, THE IDES OF MARCH as well as Ma-In-Law's Birthday) post which was going to be a book review until I took 'the ladies prerogative' and changed my mind in favour of ...........

........... AN IMPERSONATION

.

Yes that's right, today I'm going to be doing my world renowned impersonation but in order for this to work, you are going to have to work with me by listening hard and using just a little (Ok, a lot) of imagination.

"Don't push me! Don't push me!" *

No silly, not Sylvester Stallone, it's HUMPTY DUMPTY. **

* As quoted by fictional character John Rambo in RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD, a film, many of you, like me, may not have actually seen though you may well be familiar with the phrase as goodness only knows it has been used by enough impersonators/comedians over the years (or am I showing my age now?)

** Well that's Rambo sorted. I'm presuming most of you have heard of Humpty Dumpty but do you know the facts behind the fiction, the reality behind the rhyme? No? Me neither so click HERE to find out.

AWARDS, PJ'S, A WATER BUS, 80 CONDOMS, A DRUNKEN ACTOR AND, OH YES, GIRAFFES.

Firstly my congratulations to Molly over at LIFE WITH THE CAMPBELLS who yesterday (On Facebook) announced that she had won second prize in the ERMA BOMBECK WRITING COMPETITION. Well done Molly.



Many thanks to CHITRA for the Happy 101, Sweet Friends award and BETTY for the Beautiful Blogger award. Always a pleasure and an honour to receive, I was especially delighted with them given that I was feeling so poorly at the time.

You know apart from missing all of you, I had expected to really miss posting my book reviews but, strangely enough, it was my newspaper feature that I really missed doing - browsing through the papers I'd often see an article and think "Oh that's a great story for my blog" and Husband dearest admitted to feeling the same so here is a selection of what 'tickled my fancy'.

Remember way back in September of last year I reported on TESCO BANNING JEDI KNIGHTS from its stores. Well they've been at it again but this time its women doing their shopping in their pyjamas that has gotten them all annoyed.

Elaine Carmody, who happened to be pottering around in her PJ's in the Cardiff branch when the sign went up - "Footwear must be worn and no nightwear is permitted" - is outraged. She has, she says, "lovely pairs of pyjamas". They've got "bears and penquins on them". But they weren't considered good enough for the superstore that is our new flagship of respectability, and she was promptly shown the door - GILL HORNBY, THE TIMES.

Having particularly good transport links where we live combined with the fact that we are a household of non-drivers, I totally endorse the use of public transport. HOWEVER I do recognise that it is not everyone who has the luxury of such good links and so was pleased to read of bus company Stagecoach who, last month, introduced Britain's first amphibious bus service though, sadly, its maiden voyage was not without problems.

The bright yellow vehicle is part coach and part boat. It has the conventional chassis of a passenger bus but with the addition of a hull. It has four wheels for the road and two air jets for the water - SEVERIN CARRELL, GUARDIAN.

Not a huge fan of modern art, this piece of so-called art did nothing to persuade me otherwise.

Fine art student (Joseph Steele) has created his most recent project using three kilogrammes of explosives, 35 litres of paint and 80 condoms in his back garden to make six pieces of art - KATIE DAVIES, SUNDAY SUN.

Talk about taking your work too seriously!

Cast fall off tables, chairs - and stage - during "experimental" bender at Schauspielhaus in Frankfurt - KATE CONNOLLY, GUARDIAN.

And last but by no means least, something for all you animal lovers - a story that is sad because it has become necessary to go to such lengths in order to protect these beautiful animals and yet, at the same time, inspiring in that people care enough to want to protect them.

Rare giraffes under threat in west Africa from drought, habitat loss and conflict with humans have been equipped with satellite collars by conservationists - ADAM VAUGHAN, GUARDIAN.

FOOTNOTE: I endeavour to post the whole article wherever possible, in order to view today's stories in full simply click on the relevant links.

NOT JUST MOTHER'S DAY.

Its been a tiring few days. I actually started this post a while ago as, things being what they are, it takes me a few days to research, not to mention type (and correct), these longer posts. Anyway planning to schedule it for Sunday, I pressed the wrong button (doh!!!!) and so we have it now. Oh well just imagine it's Sunday.

Yes, it's the fourth Sunday in LENT which means that here in the UK we'll be celebrating Mothering Sunday by giving our mam's breakfast in bed, sending them cards/chocolates/flowers etc. All very nice but does it really take this one day in order for us to remind our mams just how much we love and appreciate them? Yes, it would seem so and don't all of those card manufacturers know it. I mean to say not content with us sending a card to our mothers, there are now a range of cards available for every other woman in our lives - Happy Mother's Day To My .... wife/aunty/grandmother/sister-in-law and so on. For goodness sake, a friend even received a card "Happy Mother's Day, with love from your dog". Not that I'm against the day itself, far from it, I'm just against the over commercialisation of a day that, after all, started out as a RELIGIOUS 'HOLIDAY'.

And talking of religious holidays/celebrations, March seems to be awash with them, with, not just one Saints Day, BUT two. Yes, DAVID, patron saint of Wales had his 'day' earlier in the month and now it's the turn of SAINT PATRICK of Ireland.

Born in either Scotland or Wales, Patrick was taken to Ireland as a slave only to escape six years later when, after much studying, he went on to become not only a Priest but a Bishop. Today St. Patrick's Day is celebrated not just in Ireland but in many other countries (England, Germany, America) which have large Irish communities. Special masses are said and there are many community based activities often involving parades, the wearing of the Irish emblem, the SHAMROCK , and the drinking of green beer (yes you read correctly, green beer) though these are generally only laid on for the tourists.

Not just a month for Christian celebrations though, today (read that as Sunday) also sees Sikh's the world over celebrate VAISAKHI which commemorates not only New Year but also 1699, the year Sikhism was 'born' as a collective faith. A celebration of many parades with much dancing and singing, many choose to be baptised into the faith on this day.

Then on the 21st many Pagans will celebrate the festival of Ostara (look familiar? Ostara/EASTER?) more commonly known as the SPRING EQUINOX which sees the renewed life of the Earth.

A solar festival (as is the Autumn Equinox), Ostara is celebrated when the length of day and night are equal with some Pagans choosing to carrying out symbolic rituals involving the courtship of the Spring Goddess and God though traditional pastimes such as the painting/rolling/hunting for eggs are also popular.

Which brings us to the 28th when there is yet another event in the Christian Calender. Part of 'Holy Week', PALM SUNDAY commemorates the arrival of Jesus in Jerusalem.

With special services being held in churches, many will participate in processions involving the carrying of large palm branches though certainly in Anglican churches here in the UK it is much more common for the congregation to be given a small palm leaf cross.

And so we come to the end of what seems like an extremely exhausting month and the Jewish faith's FEAST OF PASSOVER which commemorates the liberation of the Children Of Israel who were led out of Egypt by Moses.

Celebrated since 1300 BC, Passover takes place over 7 to 8 days depending on where in the world you live. Preparations before hand involve the thorough cleaning of the house from top to bottom whilst the Passover Meal itself sees the food, all of which symbolises something, being eaten in a certain order.

Though, as many of you already know, I'm not overly religious I do find the beliefs of others fascinating. Thinking about it, it's amazing just how many different elements show up time and time again in these celebrations with food and drink playing a huge part in many of them. Call me naive but wouldn't it be nice if, instead of war, all our 'differences' could be sorted out over a cup of tea and slice of cake?

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY.

March the 8th - INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY is a worldwide day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future.

Started in 1911, next year sees it centenary celebration.

Probably not as knowledgeable as I should be on the matter, I'd not describe myself as a feminist and yet according to the dictionary DEFINITION I am as I "believe in the need to secure rights and opportunities for women equal to those of men" and yet .........

Grief, here it becomes complicated!

I don't for one moment think we are the same as men, just as strong (generally in different areas I grant you), but definitely not the same. AND to be honest I dislike the term 'GIRL POWER' with a passion and even more so when it is used by 'women' who ceased to be 'girls' a long time ago ( and yes I include myself in this).

I don't know, perhaps I've got the whole thing wrong, the 'wrong end of the stick' so to speak, as to what it truly means to be a feminist but for many of today's women (and in particular young women) the idea of feminism seems to result in them choosing to behave as men. Nothing wrong with that, I hear you say. Maybes not, but to me there is when that behaviour sees women wanting to act out all of the worst behaviour traditionally associated with men - drinking too much, swearing too much and 'sleeping around' etc. All of which I dislike equally in men as well as women I hasten to add.

No, I definitely wouldn't call myself a feminist as (laughing) I enjoy men holding doors open for me, I enjoy men standing to give me their seat, I enjoy ....... (I could go on but won't) and yet, at the same time, woe-behold any man who insinuates that I'm a lesser person, a (dare I say it?) 'weaker' person just because I happen to be a women.

Still it makes you think what the SUFFRAGETTES, as the first women to campaign for women's rights and in particular the vote for women, would have made of it all. 'Turned in their graves' is a term that comes to mind.

That said, yes, by all means lets celebrate women in all their glory. But which women? For me it certainly wouldn't be any of the so-called celebrities that seem to inspire so many of our young women. I mean what happened to being inspired by the likes of FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE, MARIE CURIE or indeed the women mentioned on the INSPIRATIONAL WOMEN site? Talking of which Aine over at THE EVOLVING SPIRIT has an interesting blog, one of the themes of which is 'Women Who Inspire Me Wednesday', women like the first female president of Chile MICHELLE BACHELET or protester NAOMI KLEIN.

Anyway enough of my wittering. Which woman/women inspire you? Are they women like those mentioned in the post or are they women closer to home?

WHY OH WHY .......?

WHY DID THE BANANA CRY?

BECAUSE HE WASN'T PEELING VERY WELL!

THE HERRING SELLER'S APPRENTICE.

THE HERRING SELLER'S APPRENTICE by L.C. TYLER.

Ethelred Tressider is a crime writer with problems.

His latest novel is going nowhere, midlife crisis is looming and he's burdened by the literary agent he probably deserves: Elsie Thirkettle, who claims to enjoy neither the company of writers nor literature of any sort. But however bad things look they can always get worse.

When Ethelred's ex-wife vanishes close to his Sussex home, the indefatigable Elsie bullies him into embarking upon his own investigation. And, as their enquiries proceed, she begins to suspect that her client's own alibi is not as solid as he claims ........

........... From the outer, back cover.

FIRST SENTENCE (from the postscript): You'll have found the same thing yourself, of course.

MEMORABLE MOMENT: "You went off with the only woman I ever loved, if you don't count my primary school teacher," I said. "She may possibly be the only woman who ever loved me. Apart from my mother, I suppose, though she was sometimes rather vague on that score."

I was instantly intrigued by this novel with it's quirky, jolly looking cover - even if I was almost finished reading it before I realised it was a red herring on the gravestone and not a goldfish. The red herring being the 'trademark' of Peter Fielding which is one of the three 'pen names' of our rather unlikely detective Ethlered.

Enthralling and extremely witty with just the right amount of twists and turns , I really enjoyed The Herring Seller's Apprentice.

The characters were well thought out and very believable whilst at the same time being quite eccentric. I especially loved Elsie (the 'apprentice' of the title) who was very resourceful and more than capable AND a total chocoholic.

Written in several different styles, the story was told from the point of view of both Ethelred and Elsie as well as having snippets from the not-quite-written book of the afore mentioned Peter Fielding, which could have made for complicated reading - something the author managers to avoid - making this a very readable, if somewhat different, crime novel that had me guessing until the very end.

The Herring Seller's Apprentice was a competition win. Thank you DORTE.

AN ODDYODDYO ORIGINAL.

Whilst having a bit of a blog around yesterday I came across this powerful piece from Oddyoddyo 13 entitled DAY 98 (Who Am I?).

An interesting writer, Oddyoddyo 13's blog DANI'S LETTERS is certainly well worth a look.

Freeverse is a weekly meme hosted by Cara over at OOH ... BOOKS!

And talking of blogging about.

I came upon PAY IT FORWARD, a blogger gift exchange meme, whilst having a (virtual) cup of tea with BRIZMUS. Basically the idea is you receive a small gift from her and in return agree to send one to three other bloggers anywhere in the world (hence the small gift). I'd love to take part and hope to do so at a later stage but if you'd like to join in now why not go visit?

AND .........

Whilst over at SHARE A STORY SHAPE A FUTURE I came across this Blog Tour - IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A READER which runs from the 8th to 14th of March. Sounds like it could be informative as well as fun, I'll leave a badge on my sidebar in order for you to contact them or, of course, you can simply click on the above link.

ST. DAVID'S (DEWI SANT) DAY.

HAPPY SAINT DAVID'S DAY.

Saint David or Dewi Sant as he is known in Welsh is the patron saint of Wales. Living in the 6th century, he came from an aristocratic family, his mother being SAINT NON.

Founder of a large monastery in West Wales, David was one of the early saints who helped to spread Christianity among the pagan tribes of Western Britain and is perhaps most 'famous' for preaching to a large crowd when the ground, it is said, rises up, creating a hill that enables him to be seen and heard by an even greater number of people.

Celebrated by the Welsh since the 18th century, today many people will wear either a daffodil or a leak, both of which are symbols of Wales and the Y DDRAIG GOCH (The Red Dragon, Wale's national flag) will be much more prominent as will the wearing of TRADITIONAL WELSH COSTUME by young girls.

Find out more about Saint David by clicking HERE.