Novels Challenged.

"Each year the (ALA) American Library Association's Office Of Intellectual Freedom records hundreds of attempts by individuals and groups to have books removed from library shelves and classrooms. According to this at least 42 of the Radcliffe Publishing Course Top 100 Novels Of The 20th Century have been the target of ban attempts."

I had no idea that such a list existed but then I'm not totally surprised by it either. After all books like the Harry Potter series and The Da Vinci Code to name but two have been criticised and people encouraged not to read them. To me this could be like a red rag to a bull, make enough fuss about something and lots of people will find themselves wanting to find out just what all the fuss is all about.

Who needs the gym?

Fidgeting may be frustrating but researchers at the Mayo Clinic in the United States have found it also helps people stay slim.

People who regularly twitch, tap, stretch or yawn can burn up to an extra 350 calories a day. James Levine, who led the research said "There are staggering differences in the amount of fidgeting between people who are lean and people who are not. The amount of this low-grade activity is so substantial it could easily account for obesity."

Research also found that while some people are naturally more fidgety, it's an easy habit to pick up, and it could help you lose 10 to 30lb a year.

AND MEANWHILE

Soft lips can help you lose weight! Fat Burner Energy Lip Balm, £4.95, claims to suppress your appetite.

PETTY WITTER SAYS: Can you imagine the results you could obtain by combining the two - fidgeting whilst putting on the lip balm. Yes, you could end up with balm all over your face but imagine the potential weight loss.

Welcome To Toon.

As far as liking royalty goes, there are three groups of people here in the UK
- (A) Those who love our Royal Family
- (B) Those who loathe our Royal family and, probably by far the biggest group,
- (C) Those who don't have an opinion one way or another.

Me? I belong to group C. However, that could all change as already I'm tired of hearing about Princess Eugenie, daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, 6th in line to the throne, who has chosen to study here at Newcastle University.

The local television news and papers are full of stories and, on the whole, give us the same information but I had to laugh at this article which appeared in one of the local Sunday papers. Entitled 'HER ROYAL HINNYNESS' (Hinny being a term of affection here in the North East of England), it reports:

A BIG welcome this week to Princess Eugenie who is settling in at Newcastle University. The 19 year-old, is in Geordieland for three years studying for a degree in English Literature, History of Art and Politics.

I trust HRH read up on the region and discovered all about the strong identity of its people, its stunning coastline, rich history and culture and acres of wilderness.

But having arrived in the North East myself three years ago I would like top offer HRH these titbits of advice:

Always pretend to know something about North East football, even if you don't. We spend a lot of time talking about it.

Be prepared to say 'pardon' a lot. I still have problems with the Geordie twang especially if someone talks too quickly.

Don't get confused between Mackems* and Geordies. They are an entirely different species.

Try and say ' Newcastle', instead of NewcaRstle. I manage this only two per cent of the time.

Don't confuse "lets gan doon the Bigg Market**for the crack" with a stroll around the bric-a-brac stalls of Portabello market. The only thing you will find in Bigg Market is booze.***

"What's the crack?" - "What has been happening in your world, Eugenie?"

"Champion" - "Everything is spiffing/good."

"Fancy gannin doon the toon?" - "Would you like to accompany me into the city?"

"Alreet lass/How ye deeing?" - "How are you, Eugenie?"

"Ye knaa what ah mean leik?" - "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Did ye hev a canny bait?" - "Was your meal delightful?"

"Ahm feeling really knackered the dayh." - "Gosh I'm feeling so exhausted today."

"Al tak ye doon the club to see the turn." - "Let's see some entertainment at the local public house."

"Whay aye man." - "Of course, Eugenie."

"Av niver been oot wif a real Princess afore, pet, al tak ye for a kebab sometime." - "I think you are really special, would you like to join me for a traditional Turkish banquet in the near future?"

"Owt fa nowt." - "Do you you have anything available free of charge?"

"Gerrof, get yer arn chips." - Eugenie, please purchase your own chips/fries."

And, Eugenie, if you really don't understand then nodding your head is better than saying nowt (nothing). Good luck. Oh and make sure you hook up with a good Geordie bloke. Believe me, they are one of a kind.

SOURCE: The Sunday Sun's Philippa Tomson.

*Mackem - someone from Sunderland, a town some eight or so miles east of Newcastle.
** The Bigg Market - A well known area of Newcastle, populated by pubs and nightclubs.
*** Booze - Alcohol.

What Ba(aaa)d Luck Ewe Had!

A motorcyclist who was left fighting for his life after hitting a sheep has been billed by his local council for damaging its road. Biker Moray Ferguson was sent a bill for £200 by Aberdeenshire council after colliding with the sheep on the unclassified road.

Samurai William.

Samurai William By Giles Milton.

In 1611, London's merchants received an intriguing letter written by a marooned English mariner named William Adams, who had been living in the unknown land of Japan foe more than a decade. Seven adventurers were sent to Japan with orders to find and befriend Adams. It was believed he held the key to exploiting the opulent riches of this forbidden country; but when they arrived they discovered that William Adam had gone native.

FIRST SENTENCE: They had reached the end of the world.

Another well researched book penned by Giles Milton using a wealth of material, including letters, left by the early adventurers to Japan.

Not just the story of William 'Samurai' Adams but also men such as Richard Cocks and Richard Whickham who found themselves arrived in a strange land that though very barbaric was, in many other ways, far advanced as a society. Facing cultural and religious differences, values and beliefs, these men make this land their home.

An excellent read, well crafted and highly descriptive, Giles Milton brings history to life.

MY RATING: 4 out of a possible 5.

Boys Miss Out In Play.

Girls under five enjoy more varied play, which helps their development, while boys miss out, new research suggests.

More girls are allowed to read, play rough and tumble, dress up and play with dolls every day. But the research found that 15% of parents with sons felt certain activities were not suitable for boys, especially trying on clothes or playing with dolls or action figures.

David Whitebread from Cambridge University said "Potentially boys are losing out in vital areas of their development that girls are thriving in. All children need balanced exposure to different kinds of play to aid their development and understanding."

Dr. Whitebread added: "Evidence clearly demonstrates the importance of play in the lives of young children is strongly associated with their development. For children to mature and progress, it is vital to create opportunities for them to take part in a wide variety of play types."

SOURCE: The Chronicle.

PETTY WITTER SAYS: There is always some new research about the advantages/disadvantages of certain types of play. I can remember the study into whether or not toy guns should be allowed in primary schools, then there was the research into whether or not girls who spent too much time playing with prams, dolls and toy kitchen equipment etc were merely being encouraged into the role of the 'perfect' housewife and mother.

I have mixed feelings about toy guns being allowed in schools as no, of course, we don't want to promote overly aggressive play but, at the same time, generations of boys (and girls) have played with toy guns with no ill effect whatsoever and even if an actual toy gun is not readily available children will resort to improvisation.

As for girls playing with dolls etc, no-one loved a doll and pram more then me as a child but did I grow up with no other desires other than to be a 'perfect' housewife and mother? Though nothing necessarily wrong with this aspiration, I personally didn't - I'm a disaster in the kitchen, Hubby does all the cooking (perhaps he spent too much time playing with toy kitchen equipment as a boy) and as for being a mother, I knew from a very young age, despite my love of dolls, that motherhood wasn't something I wanted. No, I left that to my (naughty?) little sister who, despite being a tomboy, there were no dollies or prams here, she wanted nothing more than a toy garage, went on to have 2 children rather than become a mechanic.

So, what do you think? Are there any differences in the toys you allow your children to play with or, come to that, were there any toys you weren't allowed to play with as a child?

When We Said ........

........ "Everything I have is yours"

I hardly thought that that this would include this horrible chest infection that Hubby so lovingly passed onto me.

It all began on Monday morning when Hubby awoke with what appeared to be the most awful cold. By Wednesday this 'cold' had gone to his chest and feeling so ill he resigned himself to having to take the day off work and see a doctor and there began the problem.

He telephoned the surgery to ask for advice, only to be told to stay at home and telephone the National Swine Fever Helpline. On calling them and explaining the situation, he was told "phone an ambulance now, you obviously can't talk without pausing for breath, this is a medical emergency."

"I don't need an ambulance," replied Hubby, "It's not unusual for people to pause for breath whilst having a conversation, we do it all the time."

So after about 5 minutes of 'tooing and throwing' with the helpline insisting Hubby needed an ambulance urgently and Hubby trying to explain that, sure, he was poorly but he did not need the emergency services, Hubby hung up, thanking them for all their 'help'.

What to do next? As Hubby has regular check up's at the hospital (he has Crohn's Disease), I suggested that he call his consultant and ask his advice as, after all, there was a strong possibility he'd need to stop his medication until his chest cleared anyway.

"Yes, stop your medication," said the consultant, agreeing that an ambulance was not required. "And, if your chest is no better tomorrow, go to the walk in centre at the hospital."

Feeling no better and having spent another night sitting propped up in bed, Hubby took himself off to the suggested walk in centre, only to be told (yeah, you guessed) that he should have stayed at home and CALLED AN AMBULANCE. By now, feeling thoroughly frustrated, Hubby decided to stage an one-man protest and sit there until seen.

And, so a few hours later, he returned with a diagnosis of a chest infection and a course of anti-biotics.

I know that some people are really ill due to this swine fever but, as is typical of this government, total over- reaction seems to be the order of the day and so we are being treat as if we have no common-sense whats-so-ever, I mean surely the vast majority of us know when we really need an ambulance and, besides which, can you just imagine, with an already overstretched NHS, what would happen if everyone of us was to call the emergency services at the first sign of getting a cold.

Anyway to go back to where I started, I just want to thank Hubby for sharing this with me - yes, this morning I awoke with a runny nose and coughing. I can only hope that it doesn't end up with a repeat performance of yesterday, fingers crossed.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies By Jane Austen and Seth Grahame -Smith.

So begins Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austin novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton - and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers - and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry. Complete with romance, heartbreak, sword fights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride And Prejudice And Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

FIRST SENTENCE: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.

PETTY WITTER SAYS:

I can't claim that I have ever read Pride And Prejudice but am assured that this version, albeit with the addition of zombies, is very true to the book.

All about manners, etiquette and, with the occasional zombie (otherwise known as unmentionables) thrown in, I found the novel extremely slow and hard work - with it's different construction of sentence and use of words, I found myself constantly translating' into today's way of writing.

Less witty than it thinks it is, there were some humorous moments but unfortunately these were few and far between. Am I now persuaded to read to read the the original? Probably not.

MY RATING: 2 out of a possible 5.

HUBBY SAYS:

SPOILERS are necessary, but as most of you know the story that shouldn't be a problem.

"...transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.", says the blurb on the back cover, but this is too great a claim for this book. It has however made me reflect on my approach to the classics of English Literature, which have been studiously avoided since schooldays convinced me that there was nothing to be had from these historical irrelevancies.

Well over 25 years since I read Pride and Prejudice and yet I found the story here, virtually unchanged. True, the addition of zombies is certainly a new element, but even this is a minor inconvenience. The amount of gore laden description in relation to zombies is minimal and their intrusion into the story sparse. The only real effect of the zombie curse is that the Bennet sisters have all sworn blood oaths to the crown to defend the country against the afflicted and are renowned for their mastery of the deadly arts. Indeed they have all spent 6 of their formative years studying at the Shao-Lin temples in China. This as you may imagine has made Elizabeth a redoubtable young woman who extends beyond pithy badinage, into kicking seven shades out of anyone or anything that gets in her way. Mr Darcys initial proposal receives such a response and the most gory exchanges in the book are nothing to do with the zombies who seem to settle for eating the servants or the plebs from the village at best. On being tested by Lady Catherines favourite Ninjas, Elizabeth,

"...flung her Katana across the dojo, piercing the ninjas chest and pinning him against a wooden column. Elizabeth removed her blindfold and confronted her opponent, who presently clutched the sword handle, gasping for breath. She delivered a vicious blow, penetrating his rib-cage and withdrew her hand-with the ninjas still-beating heart in it. As all but Lady Catherine turned away in disgust, Elizabeth took a bite, letting the blood run down her chin and onto her sparring gown."

Now then, I think we can probably all agree that this is not what we expect of our classical young ladies. so I think that even those inclined to tales of zombies could well find this book disappointing in that the peak of violence is still the living on the living as the privileged classes are more than capable of coping with the undead.

The book does however retain a good deal of the wit and lively commentary of manners that I remembered and the characters surrounding the key protagonists are much as I recalled them. Mrs Bennet is a trifle more over zealous than in the original and would probably have taken to her bed for several months had she witnessed the above scene and Mr.Collins every inch the pathetic whimpering clergyman which I enjoy immensely. There is a peculiar delight in the use of the word 'balls' which my teenage snickering self roared at regularly throughout this book, especially at the moment which I refer to as the second proposal; " 'Your balls Mr. Darcy?'He reached out and closed her hand around them, and offered 'They belong to you, Miss Bennet.' " One might suggest that this is a pithy comment about the nature of marriage but one is far too sensible and sensitive in that department to suggest so. In the study notes at the end of the book the author challenges the reader to consider the metaphorical involvement of zombies in the story, critics having suggested that the,

"zombies represent the authors views towards marriage - an endless curse that sucks the life out of you and just won't die."

I of course could not possibly comment on that especially so hard on the heels of an anniversary. So all in all, a bit of entertainment, a spoof not terribly grand in style as it has all of its grandeur in the original. It's a giggle, a bit of fun and it has made me want to go back and read the original again, and Sense and Sensibility, and Wuthering Heights, and Vanity Fair.......

Themethatisme.

Proud To Be A Member.

It's always a highlight of the autumn when the HOGOLOGUE, the Christmas* catalogue of THE BRITISH HEDGEHOG PRESERVATION SOCIETY (BHPS), drops through the door as it did last week. Not so much for the merchandise - there are only so many hedgehog stickers, keyrings, mousemats and soft toys one can take** - but as a reminder of one of the country's most idiosyncratic, but effective, green pressure groups.

With it comes the newsletter, and there is nothing quite like it. "How hedgehogs can save the world!" shouts one headline in the current issue (though the secret is never divulged). There's the story of a rescued but "incredibly grumpy" beast called Jaws,*** "possibly the stinkiest hedgehog we have ever met", and a letter from a member who has nightmares about baby hedgehogs being stuck in loo pipes.

I still cherish a poem in a previous issue about the agonies of releasing an orphan into the wild: "Worried that we'd overfed him/When he went into the forest?/Would he look for avocados?" Sadly, the animal, called Sausage,*** perished.

Eccentrically British? Possibly. But, the society, just 12,000 strong, is a giant killer. It forced McDonald's to spend a fortune changing the shape of its McFlurry dessert containers (hedgehogs got their heads stuck in them) and stopped the Scottish authorities mounting a cull (to protect rare wading birds) on the island of Uist.

It's latest campaign is to persuade people to cut small holes in hedges to let the animals through. That is a nice reversal of the one - liner with which comedian Dan Antopolski won the prize for the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Festival:"Hedgehogs, Why can't they just share the hedge?"****

SOURCE: From an article in the Daily Telegraph.

* The HOGOLOGUE though only produced once a year is not, in fact, a Christmas catalogue - goods are available all year round.
** Who says there are only so many keyrings etc one can take? Every hogologue sees new items as well as old favourites.
*** Who chooses these names, Jaws, Sausages - I ask you, what next?
**** No, I didn't get the joke either.

PETTY WITTER SAYS: For those of you new to the blog, I'm a huge hedgehog fan (have been ever since I was a little girl) and have been a life member of the BHPS for a long time now.

It's A Record-Breaker.

Dan Brown's THE LOST SYMBOL sold well over one million copies in its first 24 hours in the shops, breaking sales records for an adult fiction title. The sales - across the UK, US and Canada - were announced by the novel's American publisher Knopf. In the UK, Waterstone's* said that as well as being the fastest ever selling hard-back adult novel (the previous holder of the record was Thomas Harris for HANNIBAL) The Lost Symbol was also it's fastest selling e-book and audio download. The record-breaking sales for Brown's thriller, however are still well short of those for J.K Rowling's HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, which sold more than 2.6 million copies in its first 24 hours in the UK alone.

SOURCE: The Guardian.

* A well known book chain store.

Jedi Knight banned from Tesco.

Tesco has been accused of religious discrimination after the company ordered the founder of a Jedi religion to remove his hood or leave a branch of the supermarket in North Wales.

Danial Jones, founder of the religion inspired by the Star Wars films, says he was humiliated and victimised for his beliefs following the incident at a Tesco store in Bangor.

The 23 year-old who founded the International Church Of Jedism, which has 500,000 followers worldwide, was told the hood flouted store rules.

Jones, from Holyhead, who is known by the Jedi name Morda Hehol, said his religion dictated that he should wear the hood in public places and is considering legal action against the chain.

"It states in our Jedi doctrination that I can wear headwear. It just covers the back of my head," he said. "You have a choice of wearing headwear in your home or at work but you have to wear a cover for your head when you are in public."

But the grocery empire struck back, claiming that the three best known Jedi Knights in the Star War movies - Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker - all appeared in public without their hoods.

Jones said he'd gone there during his lunchbreak when staff approached him and ordered him to the checkout where they explained he would have to remove the hood or leave the store.

"They said: 'Take it off', and I said: 'No, it's part of my religious right.' I gave them a Jedi church business card. They weren't listening to me and were rude. They had three people around me. It was intimidating."

Jones, who has made an official complaint to Tesco, is considering a boycott of the store and is seking legal advice.

Tesco said "He hasn't been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as the one who never removed his hood.

"If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they'll miss lots of special offers."

SOURCE: Helen Carter, The Guardian.

PETTY WITTER SAYS: *I wonder what the store would have to say if a Jedi Knight was to turn up with a light saber? ** Some may well argue that by shopping in Tesco, Morda Hehol had already gone over to the Dark Side.

What A Wonderful Night.

First things first, may I say a huge thank you to all those who wished us well on our 23rd wedding anniversary, you made an already special day even more so.

As a celebration we went to Newcastle City Hall to see Heroes Of Geordie Comedy which, though not advertised as such, turned out to be a fund-raising event for the school our nephew left this July.

To be honest out of the four comics on, I had only actually heard of one - Brendan Healy - but that was okay because it was him I really wanted to see. And was he funny? Was he ever. Despite the fact that he told some really old jokes, it was the way that he told them that had the whole audience doubled up with laughter.

Yes, a really good night was had, real good (some might say old fashioned) comedy with no swearing involved though an interpreter may have been needed by those members in the audience not from the North East.

When Girl Wed Boy - Chapter 23.

Having been a blogger for a lot longer than myself, it generally falls to Hubby to let the world know that it's our wedding anniversary but this year that honour goes to me.

Where to begin, what to say? For Hubby does this sort of thing so much better as he's the one blessed with words, he's the romantic one.






Our story began in June 1984 when girl met boy, girl and boy dated, girl and boy fell in love and boy (didn't ) propose - that's a whole other story though.

Then, just over two years later, twenty three years ago at 11 o' clock on the 20th of September 1986 girl and boy married in front of family and friends in St. Matthew's Church, Newbottle, Houghton-Le-Spring.

Ours was a simple wedding, quite traditional but made very special by so many people who gave so freely of their time and talents. Friends like Penny who made my dress, David who did all the wonderful flowers, Eric who took our photographs and Vicar's wife, Hilary, who made the cake.

Married life certainly didn't start well for us. Our first year seeing me have a serious accident, Hubby be made redundant from work not once, not twice but three times and then us loose our very first home together. Not exactly a good start but whoever said "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger" (or something like that) might well have wrote that with us in mind.

Still, things could only get better, right? Well, yes and no but through it all we have remained strong as a couple, always facing the worst, as well as the best, together.

So do I regret our twenty three years as man and wife? Not at all, for today I can still honestly say that Neal is the man I love, my rock, the person I look to before all others, the person I feel safest with, the person to whom I'd trust my life and, just as importantly, the person who I know loves me because of/despite me being me.





So here's to twenty four years of married life and a whole new chapter in 'When girl wed boy'.

Just a quick one.

I'm desperately trying to find something to do other than read my latest book - Pride And Prejudice And Zombies By Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. To be honest I would normally have given up by now but, after having talked Hubby into a double review, I'm determined to carry on. 117 pages down, only another 200 to go.

Anyway, as a delaying tactic I decided to fill in a survey I'd been sent in the post. All very straight forward until I came to the section dealing with personal information which left me rather bemused to say the least.

Q: What is your gender? Male/Female. (Please select only one.)

Q: Do you have any children? Yes/No. (Please select only one.)

For goodness sake, what kind of a survey is this?

Books back after 35 years.

A library user who returned two books 35 years late has been spared a £5,ooo fine.

As the historical volumes were among 750 books brought back during a fines amnesty in Ipswich, Suffolk, the borrower escaped the usual 70p a week * penalty.

Librarian Chairmian Keeble said "We were excited to see them after all this time."

* I wonder how much the fine would have actually been? You do the maths.

I've Been Tagged.

I have been tagged by Sherrie at JUST BOOKS. This is how it works:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Share your ABC's.

3. Tag 3 people at the end by linking to their blogs.

4. Let the 3 people tagged know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

5. Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people so there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag.

Available or single? Married.

Best Friend? Without a doubt, Hubby.

Cake or pie? Cake (especially chocolate) every time.

Drink of choice? Strawberry milkshake.

Essential item for every day use? My crutches.

Favourite colour? Yellow.

Google? Occasionally.

January or February? Well as it's my birthday, February.

Kids? No though our life is full of other people's.

Life is incomplete without? Hubby and chocolate.

Marriage date? Funnily enough, 23 years ago tomorrow - 20th September (1986).

Number of siblings? One - my (naughty) little sister.

Oranges or apples? Bananas.

Phobias and fears? Birds, the dark, world chocolate supplies running out.

Quote for the day? Eat, drink and be merry.

Reason to smile? I'm me.

Season? Spring.

Tag 3 people?
* Vivienne at SERENDIPITY.
** Jenners at FIND YOUR NEXT BOOK HERE.
*** Cara at OOH BOOKS.

Unknown fact about me? I give names to and talk with my plants.

Vegetable you hate? Celery.

Worst habit? When I slip into using Geordie slang.

X-Rays you've had? It's easier to name which I haven't had - I practically glow in the dark.

Your favourite food? Hubby's home made vegetable lasagne.

Zodiac Sign? Aquarius.

BBAW - DAY 5.

Yes, it's day 5 and we've come to the end of this years BOOK BLOGGERS APPRECIATION WEEK.

As a finale we are asked to write in 50 words or less (yeah, right!!) what we think of our blog right now and where we'd like to be, blog wise, a year from now.

I've thought about this long and hard and have decided I can't do it - at last not in 50 words or less so instead I'm going to write a list.

WHAT I THINK OF MY BLOG RIGHT NOW.

* I'm happy with the layout as a whole though every now and then I like to have a bit of a tweak.

** I'm more than happy with it's contents - I think it's nice to have a bit of this as well as a bit of that and other people seem to appreciate it as well which is nice.

*** I adore Maukie (the virtual reality cat) - I could spend hours playing with him.

WHERE I'D LIKE TO BE IN A YEAR FROM NOW.
(It's so much easier to do this bit.)

* I'd like to improve on my live links and the adding of more graphics (why do I find this so difficult?)

** I'd love to have more people visiting from all over the world (I so enjoy looking at 'Where In The World' which tells me from which part of the world people are visiting from, it's so cool to think you can be in contact with someone in another country at the drop of a hat).

*** I'd like to do some interviews with other bloggers and/or authors.

**** I'd like to start doing an 'at the movies' feature which would be great as it would mean I was getting out and about a bit more.

BUT MOST OF ALL .....

***** I'd simply like to be still blogging.

The Six Sacred Stones.

The Six Sacred Stones By Matthew Reilly.
The world is still in mortal danger.

For Jack West Jr and his rave team of heroes, the challenge now is to set six fabulous diamonds known as 'the Pillars' in their appointed places around the world before the deadline for global destruction arrives. But first they must discover the precise locations - six ancient sites whose positions are revealed by the legendary Six Sacred Stones.

Their quest will involve the terrifying hijack of a mountain railway in remotest China .... a midnight expedition to unlock the secrets of Stonehenge .... a headlong chase across the deserts of Egypt involving trucks, jeeps and a crippled 747 .... and a terrifying journey into the dark realm of an African tribe forgotten by time ....

With only the ancient philosophers to guide them. and time rapidly running out, Jack and his friends must press their way through traps, labyrinths and deadly ambushes - knowing that this time they cannot, will not, must not fail.

The mission is incredible. The consequences of failure are unimaginable. The ending is unthinkable

.... from the inner, front cover.

First Sentence: In a dark chamber beneath a great island in the most distant corner of the world, an ancient ceremony was under way.

A mixture of Indiana Jones and James Bond, Jack West Jr (call sign 'Huntsman') must be the ultimate hero. With his team, comprised of Wizard, Zoe and children, foster daughter, Lily and, her friend, Alby amongst others there seems to be no way of stopping him.

The follow up to Seven Ancient Wonders (which I haven't read) THE SIX SACRED STONES can be read as a book in it's own right without having first read it's predecessor. Fast, pacy, full of wonderful, ancient locations, tasks and high-tech gadgets, this book comes highly recommended despite the fact that, in one or two places the imagination is stretched so far, disbelief must be suspended. Then there is the ending which will leave you wondering what happens to certain characters.

If ever there was a book crying out for a film version to be made of it - The Six Sacred Stones is that book.

MY RATING: 4 out of a possible 5.

In the wee, small hours.

Having decided that I really needed to be better co-ordinated on Farmville so that I only need visit once or twice a day (instead of many) meant some late night milking of cows which Hubby, thankfully, suggested he do.

This done, we both settled for the night, only to awake, both of us needing to 'spend a penny' (yes, we have synchronised bladders in this house). On looking at the bedside clock, I discovered, to my dismay, it was only 2.06 a.m. - isn't it annoying when you think you have been asleep forever only to discover it's only been a couple of hours?

Anyway, I digress. Both of us settled again, I found myself saying "I've decided (for some reason Hubby's heart always sinks when I utter these words - I can't imagine why) we aren't doing anymore late night farming"

"Why?" he asks, feigning interest and already half asleep.

"Because all night, in my dreams, I've been getting you to milk cows and collect eggs. Now I'm even nagging you in my sleep." I admitted.

Well, I suppose you have to play Farmville to fully appreciate what I'm saying - it's amazing how quickly these things can take over if you let them.

Illegally Barked?

In Australia, an elderly lady, who tied her pet to a fence outside a market in Darwin and left it with a bowl of water while she shopped, came back to find an eager traffic warden had given the dog a ticket for being illegally parked.

BBAW - DAY 4.

Yes, Day 4 - the penultimate (how I love that word, penultimate) day of BOOK BLOGGERS APPRECIATION WEEK is here.

Today we are asked to blog about a book, preferably one we loved, that we read after discovering it on another blog.

My choice is A MERCY By TONI MORRISON - a book I discovered, though have not YET read, over at Sherrie's place - JUST BOOKS. Sherrie being a "57 years young," whose blog is "about life and all the things I like to do."

BBAW - DAY 3.

Day 3 of BOOK BLOGGER APPRECIATION WEEK and we are being encouraged to share our views on the following questions. Please choose 1 or 2 to answer or why not answer them all by using 5 words or less? Be creative, you could even choose to answer by using a picture - brevity is the goal of today.

1. DO YOU SNACK WHILE YOU READ? IF SO, WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE READING SNACK?

No, I'm far too messy

2. DO YOU TEND TO MARK YOUR BOOKS OR DOES THE IDEA OF WRITING IN BOOKS HORRIFY YOU?

Write in a book? Never!!

3. HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR PLACE WHILE READING? BOOK MARK, DOG EARS, LAYING THE BOOK FLAT OPEN?

A wide selection of bookmarks.

4. FICTION, NON-FICTION OR BOTH?

Mostly fiction.

5. HARD COPY OR AUDIO BOOKS?

Audio books? No way.

6. ARE YOU A PERSON WHO TENDS TO READ TO THE END OF A CHAPTER OR ARE YOU ABLE TO PUT A BOOK DOWN AT ANY POINT?

Till chapter end definitely.

7. IF YOU COME ACROSS AN UNFAMILIAR WORD, DO YOU STOP TO LOOK IT UP RIGHT AWAY?

If in doubt - first ask Hubby.

8. WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING?

The Six Sacred Stones - Matthew Reilly.

9. WHAT IS THE LAST BOOK YOU BOUGHT?

206 Bones - Kathy Reichs.

10. ARE YOU THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT ONLY READS ONE BOOK AT A TIME OR CAN YOU READ MORE THAN ONE AT A TIME?

Only one on the go.

11. DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY AND/OR PLACE TO READ?

Any time, any place, anywhere.

12. DO YOU PREFER SERIES BOOKS OR STAND ALONE BOOKS?

Either will do.

13. IS THERE A SPECIFIC BOOK OR AUTHOR THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF RECOMMENDING OVER AND OVER?

The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom.

14. HOW DO YOU ORGANISE YOUR BOOKS, BY GENRE, TITLE, AUTHOR'S LAST NAME, ETC?

All the same authors together.

The Borgia Bride.

The Borgia Bride By Jeanne Kalogridis.

Incest. Poison. Betrayal.

Three wedding presents for the Borgia Bride.

Italy 1492.

So begins the Borgia reign of terror. No one is immune. Rome is a hotbed of accusation and conspiracy. Everyday the River Tiber is full of new bodies.

Sancha de Aragon arrives in Rome newly wed to Pope Alexander VI's youngest son, Jofrie. But Rome is very different to Sancha's beloved Naples.

The debauchery of the Borgia inner circle is notorious. Lucrezia Borgia, is spiteful towards her at first, but gradually the two young women develop a cautious friendship.

But when Sancha falls in love with Cesare Borgia, her husband's enigmatic older brother, she will discover how bizarre and internecine are the family's true ties ...

.... from the back cover.

First Sentence: The canterella, it is called: a poison so deadly a mere sprinkling of it can kill a man, strike him down in a matter of days.

As one of my favourite types of novel, THE BORGIA BRIDE did not disappoint - with a mix of actual and fictional events it gave a real insight into life Borgia style. Full of memorable characters, it is all about loyalty (both political and familial), burning ambition, murder and revenge.

Sancha, fearing she has inherited the evil madness of her father, Alfonso II and grandfather, Ferrante I, vows that no matter what she will never resort to evil. As a result of the happenings at the palace of her father-in-law, Pope Alexander VI, will she be able to keep that vow when in her head she hears the prophecy of the strega * "For in your heart lies the fates of men and nations. These weapons within you - the good and the evil - must each be wielded wisely, and at the proper time, for they will change the course of events." In order to find out, you simply must read the book.

* A type of witch, a sooth-sayer.

MY RATING: 5 out of a possible 5.

BBAW - DAY 2.

Day two of BOOK BLOGGERS APPRECIATION WEEK sees the posting of lots of blogging interview swaps at various sites - for more information visit the BBAW site.

Unfortunately I haven't interviewed any of my book blogging buddies, SO, in the spirit of the whole thing, decided that I'd interview myself by talking through the 5 most common questions I get asked about being a blogger.

1. WHY BLOG?

Well, being confined to the house for such a lot of the time I did get bored some of the time and Hubby, who had blogged for quite a while, thought it would be a good idea for me to do so as well. He actually set the site up in October 2008 but due to my reluctance (after all what did I have to write about?) it took until April 2009 for me to write my first post and I've never looked back.

2. WHY THE NAME PETTY WITTER?

That was a nickname of mine which somehow seemed suitable. PEN AND PAPER came about because that's how I prefer to correspond with friends - to this day I still write letters instead of e-mailing whenever I can.

3. HOW DO YOU CHOOSE WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT?

I largely blog for myself so will simply write about whatever is on my mind at the time. That said, it is of course, always nice when others take an interest in what you are saying and I love it when people comment.

4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOOK?

Possibly both the commonest as well as the hardest question that I get asked. For my favourite childhood book I must say THE VELVETEEN RABBIT By Margery Williams whilst the book that has most inspired me, must be THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN By Mitch Albom and, finally, the most enjoyable book I have read lately has to be THE BOOK THIEF By Markus Zusak.

5. WHERE DID YOU GET THE CAT WIDGET?

Hubby, knowing my love of cats, discovered this particular site and did the necessary. To get your own cat simply visit 'Meet Maukie' and click on the symbol 'get widget' which should take you straight to the site.

BBAW - DAY 1.

Today is day one of BOOK BLOGGERS APPRECIATION WEEK (BBAW).

To celebrate we are being asked to write a post thanking and spot-lighting our favourite blogs.
In light of the fact that I don't actually have a favourite as such - there are so many blogs that are my favourite for different reasons - I would like to say a huge thank you to you all.

As many of you are aware, due to an accident many years ago and all the subsequent surgery, getting out and about isn't all that easy for me so I'd just like to say thanks to all those bloggers who share my life but most of all my thanks must go to Hubby who talked (I shan't go as far as saying nagged) me into starting a blog in the first place and all those followers of his over at CONSCIENTISATION who we met that memorable afternoon in Leeds - you know who you are. THANK YOU.

AAH - How Sweet.

In the USA, organisers had to cancel classes in Denver aimed at helping shy people overcome their problems when nobody turned up.

And meanwhile .......

In Germany, Markus Schmidt, 27, found an unusual way of proposing to his girlfriend. He spelled out "Will you marry me" in bales of hay outside her bedroom window. The labour of love took him over six hours and the use of two tractors.

Roald Dahl Day.

To use one of my nana's favourite sayings, way back, "when pussy was a kitten", I did a post telling of THE ROALD DAHL BIRTHDAY CHALLENGE which celebrates what would have been the author's birthday. Today sees the day when people all over the country are coming together to hold events and trying to complete the SPECTACULAR ROALD DAHL CHALLENGE - originally a one-off, it is now an annual event and for the first time is happening in America as well.

To refresh your memory - there were 10 challenges altogether and your target was to try and complete as many as your age which means if you are 10 or over you have to try and complete them all. So, how am I doing so far? (If it's in purple, I've completed the challenge.)

1. Wear yellow - Roald's favourite colour.

2. Wear one or more items of clothing backwards. (Though I don't think I'll go out like this).

3. Give someone a treat.

4. Swap a Roald Dahl book with a friend. (I've sort of completed this challenge in that I read two of his books and SWAPPED reviews, if not actual books, with a friend.

5. Talk backwards. (Much more difficult then it sounds, I only kept it up for a short period of time).

6. Tell a silly joke.

7. Play an unexpected prank.

8. Drop 'gobblefunk' convincingly into a conversation. (I'm not too sure how convincing I was but I tried).

9. Write your own revolting rhyme.

10. Make up an Oompa Loompa dance and get your friends to join in. (HMM!! This one could prove rather difficult).

And, just so you know;

"This autumn an animated movie of 'Fantastic Mr Fox' starring George Clooney and Meryl Streep is released. John Cleese has been involved in the early development of Working Title's film of 'The Twits'. A musical of 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory', involving Sam Mendes, is intended for the West End and Broadway, while the Royal Shakespeare Company is working on a production of 'Matilda'.

"Then there is the merchandising and the ROALD DAHL FOUNDATION, which gives millions to charity, and the ROALD DAHL MUSUEM down the road from GYPSY HOUSE (The family home where Dahl dreamt up 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory', 'James And The Giant Peach' and 'The BFG') in Great Massenden, Buckinghamshire. Plus last week the shortlist was announced for the second ROALD DAHL FUNNY PRIZE, which is awarded to authors of humorous books for under 6's and 7 to 14 year-olds."

SOURCE: The Times.

It's A Funny Thing, The English Language.

Can the word's we use say more about us than we realise?

North East language expert Vivian Cook certainly seems to think so.

The Newcastle University linguistic professor has made studying the evolution of the English language his passion for the past 30 years and he believes the words we choose could give away how old we are.

He's devised a simple test for his new book, called It's All In A Word, which shows how the words we choose can betray our age.

"Some words do not die out, only the people who use them," said Professor Cook. "To a certain extent we are labelled by the words of our generation and carry them with us, but this explanation does not always work.

"For example, to me a word like 'chap' is very much an older-generation word, but it has been going strong since 1716 and is still used by many people today, of all ages."

Professor Cook suggests that many of us adopt the words we think are suitable for our years and therefore constantly adapt our vocabulary as we grow older.

The words we use can also define our heritage long after we have moved to another part of the country.

Whether we 'hoy', 'cob' or 'bung' something when we throw it shows roots in either the North East, Midlands or the South respectively. As a Southerner moving up to Newcastle, Professor Cook said it took him some time to adjust to 'stotties' (a kind of bread bun), 'chares' (alleyways) and 'slippy' (slippery) pavements, not to mention the weather forecaster who warns viewers to look out for the 'skitey' bits (icy patches).

His book, which is published on September 17th, covers many different aspects of words, ranging from their meanings and how new words are created, to how they organise society and help us think.

"English is a voracious language," added Professor Cook. "For centuries it has gobbled up words and meanings from all kinds of sources and cultures as well as being a magnet for originality and invention.

"However much we know about words, there's always something new to learn, which makes it fascinating.

"Words and language are crucial in everything we do and the underlying message of this book is to encourage a wider interest in vocabulary."

It's All In A Word shows how English has travelled across the world and what language says about us, including practical linguistics tips such as how to learn new vocabulary.

SOURCE: Nicola Juncar, The Chronicle - nicolajuncar@ncjmedia.co.uk

WHAT'S YOUR WORD AGE?

Choose the word out of each pair that you use must often. This should give an indication of how old you seem from your vocabulary. (Points scored are given in brackets).

1. Great (0) .......... All right (1)
2. Bike (1) ............. Cycle (0)
3. L.P (0) ................Vinyl (1)
4. Grotty (1) ......... Bad (0)
5. Chap (0) ............ Bloke (1)
6. Telly ( 1) ............ Television (0)
7. Sozzled* (0) ......... Slaughtered* (1)
8. Fab (1) ................ Excellent (0)
9. Drunk (1) ............ Tipsy* (0)
10. Granny (0) ........ Nan (1)

Score over 5 and you're speaking like a young person,
Score 5 or less and you're more likely to be over 30.

(It should be noted that this is not an entirely scientific test, but is designed to give an idea of generational language use. For example parents with teenagers might find this takes years off their vocabulary age)

PETTYWITTER SAYS: I don't know how well anyone from outside of the North East Of England will cope with this test, probably not very well and for this I apologise.

* Sozzled/Slaughtered = Extremely drunk. Tipsy = Slightly drunk.

MY Reading/Book Club & The Challenge.

It's just over two and a half years since the start of my reading/book club which takes place at The White Swan Centre library, Killingworth - I don't think we ever did get around to giving it a name.

We are a group of twelve or so people (11 women and 1, token, man) who get together on the first Tuesday of every month to discuss a book (mostly fiction, though we did once read an auto-biography) which is always chosen from an assortment by librarian, Alison. Sadly, because of my health I don't always make the group but usually Hubby is able to collect my book so I don't miss out too much.

Having just read The Reading Group By Elizabeth Noble and visited a lot of blogs, I know it's popular to take part in reading challenges - something I have never been keen to do.

However, I think I may well set myself my own challenge and try to read all twelve novels as read by the five women in The Reading Group. I'm not promising I will be able to do it as I think I may have trouble getting hold of one or two of the books and I may not do it in the same order but I'm going to give it a go. So, all that is needed now is a name for my challenge. How about The Noble Challenge in honour of the author of The Reading Group?

The Reading Group.

The Reading Group By Elizabeth Noble.

A group of friends, a few bottles of wine and a good book.

What could be better? The women who form the Reading Group are as varied as the books they choose to read.

Designer clad Nicole has the perfect domestic set-up - apart from a serially unfaithful husband. Her best friend Harriet's husband is perfect; but Harriet just doesn't love him any more.

Clare is desperate for a baby - and is wrecking her marriage in the process, while Cressida is terrified she's pregnant.

Susan is watching her mother's sad, slow decline, comforted by her family; Polly wants to marry again, but will Jack cope with hers?

Can they find the answers in the pages of a good book?

First Sentence: Clare watched as the young woman passed her in the corridor.

What a warm, touching and humorous book THE READING GROUP turned out to be. Well written, it is full of believable, memorable characters who you will love and loathe.

The five main characters are a varied group of women (Polly, Susan Clare, Harriet and Nicole) who get together one Wednesday evening every month to discuss a book as well as their lives. As a reader, I felt like I was the sixth member of the group - sharing in their loves, losses, trials and tribulations.

Interestingly written, each section of the book starts with the women discussing the book they have just read which always, no matter how loosely, somehow or other ties in with an event that has taken place over the previous month. A thoroughly enjoyable read, I would recommend this book to all and wouldn't be too surprised if people found themselves longing to be a member of a reading group.

MY RATING: 5 out of a possible 5.

So, just what were the books read by The Reading Group.

January - Heartburn By Nora Ephron (1983).
February - I Capture The Castle By Dodie Smith ( 1949).
March - Atonement By Ian McEwan (2001).
April - The Woman Who Walked Into Doors By Roddy Doyle (1996).
May - Guppies For Tea By Marika Cobbold (1993).
June - My Antonia By Willa Cather (1918).
July - The Memory Box By Margaret Forster (1999).
August - Eden Close By Anita Shreve (1989).
September - An Instance Of The Fingerpost By Iain Pears (1997).
October - Rebecca By Daphne Du Maurier (1938).
November - The Alchemist By Paulo Coelho (1988).
December - Girl With A Pearl Earring By Tracy Chavalier (1999).

Whatever next?

'When did you last see your dog actually complete the crossword? Do you keep finding unfinished sudokus in his basket? Isn't it time you found out once and for all if he's really all there in the brain department? Well, now you can with How Smart Is Your Dog?, a self-scoring intelligence test for mutts! £4.99 from http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/

SOURCE: Real People magazine.

What's In A Name?

Class- conscious teachers spot the potential troublemakers on the first day of term - by looking at the names in the register.

Researchers claim more than one in three teachers 'expect' children with certain names to be more of a handful than others.

YOUNGSTERS CALLED Callum, Connor, Jack, Chelsea, Courtney and Chardonnay are seen as the most likely to disrupt the class.

Nearly half of teachers, 49%, admitted making assumptions about a child when they first look at the register in September. The study formulated a TEACHER'S PET And PEST NAME CHART to show how children can expect to be pigeon holed. It reveals how pupils called Alexander, Adam, Christopher, Elizabeth, Charlotte and Emma are reckoned to be the brainy ones.

Faye Mingo, of parenting club, http://www.bounty.com/, who carried out the survey of 3,000 teachers said yesterday, "It's only natural for teachers to make judgements based on the behaviour of former pupils with the same name.

"But I'm sure they are happy to be proved wrong. After all there is always an exception to every rule."

Eric Webster, vice-chairman of Family And Youth Concern said "I would hate to think that teachers treat children differently based on their name or address."

A children's support group said there was "clearly a risk" if pupils were judged by their names.

Tim Burke of the National Youth Agency said "In some teachers minds it could literally be a case of give a dog a bad name but they most recognise this and instead judge people by the things they do and who they are."

The study also found the naughtiest children are the most popular.

SOURCE: Richard Smith, The Mirror.

Being called Tracy, I have heard all the jokes. Like Sharon's, we, Tracy's, are of loose morals, wear extremely short skirts with white stilettos and, like blondes, are of low intelligence.

Are you/have you a child named Callum, Connor, Jack, Chelsea, Courtney, Chardonnay, Adam, Christopher, Elizabeth, Charlotte or Emma? If so, were they treat any differently because of their name?

Thank Goodness .....

..... the schools went back today for now Niece #2 will, hopefully, be able to supply me with some new jokes like these two.

What do you get if you cross a baby with a flying saucer?
- An unidentified crying object.

How do you tell if a monster has a glass eye?
- It comes out in conversation.

Pettywitter says: I don't know about you but the 'baby' joke was around when I was at school many years ago - funny (no pun intended) how these jokes get passed down.

206 Bones.

206 Bones By Kathy Reichs.

"You have an enemy, Dr Brennan. It is in your interest to learn who placed that call."

A routine case turns sinister when Dr Temperance Brennan is accused of mishandling the autopsy of a missing heiress. Someone has made an incriminating accusation that she missed or concealed crucial evidence. Before Tempe can get to the one man with information, he turns up dead.

The heiress isn't the only elderly female to have appeared on Tempe's gurney recently. Back in Montreal, three more woman have died, their bodies brutally discarded. Tempe is convinced there's a link between their deaths and that of the heiress. But what - or who - connects them?

Tempe struggles with the clues, but nothing adds up. Has she made grave errors or is some unknown foe sabotaging her? It soon becomes frighteningly clear. It's not simply Tempe's career at risk. Her life is at stake too.

First Sentence: Cold.

206 BONES (the number of bones to be found in the human body) is the 12th in the series of Temperance 'Tempe' Brennan novels to be penned by Kathy Reichs - the author who inspired the hit t.v. series BONES.

Some argue that the books are formulaic and whilst I wouldn't totally disagree with this, there is just something about them that keeps me reading sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, chapter after chapter, page after page.

This book, like all the previous, is rather macabre in that it deals with crimes being, largely but not altogether, solved by the examination of the bones and teeth of the dead. Simply fascinating stuff.

The characters are extremely well written and whilst each book can be read as an individual piece, I certainly think the reader gets more out of them by reading them as a series - as in that way, amongst other things, they get to know the complete, often complex, history of Tempe and her 'partner in crime', Detective Andrew Ryan.

The only problem with this book, as with the others, being, it is all too quickly read and there seems to be quite a long period before the next in the series is issued. Oh well, I can always re-read them.

My Rating: 4 out of a possible 5.

Just A Reminder.

Just to remind you all that Roald Dahl's birthday is next Sunday - 13th September - and to celebrate people all across the country are joining in The Roald Dahl Birthday Challenge.

View my post by clicking here for the full details.

A Little Known Author.

Retired HYLTON SMITH is set to follow in the literary footsteps of his science fiction hero.

The little-known author is winning a strong following among sci-fi fans with his latest exploration into other worlds.

His new book, THE DARWINIAN EXTENSION - INITIATION, is part one of a trilogy set 25 years in the future and light years into space.

The story is a thriller in the spirit of science fiction legend Sir Arthur C Clarke, famous for the cult novel 2001: A Space Odyssey.

An unplanned early retirement in 1993, at the age of 52, led Hylton to pick up the pen and challenge one of the book world's most competitive markets.

The father of one cites Clarke as a major inspiration behind his work, but insists the radical view of what lies ahead for the human race is his own.

"I was determined to embrace my retirement and I'd always liked writing since school, and have a love of science fiction," said Hylton of Rowlands Gill, Gateshead. "I think we have difficult situations to face in the future because of consumerism. I think manned missions to places we have not been before will be necessary in the next 50 or 100 years.

The book tells of an interaction with another life form which can help us if we wish it to. We aren't talking about monsters, but a sophisticated form of life."

Hylton's literary bow came in 2008 with the release of THE PREDICAMENT OF REDWOOD PADDOCK, a political satire on the state of the British Government.

Source: Evening Chronicle.

Unwelcome Guests.

It's as I feared - we have, it would seem, for the 2nd year running, a wasps nest in our roof space.

Yesterday we had a friend (who also happens to be a roofer) out to inspect our roof. After promising to inspect it for months, he had some good news for us, some not so good news and some, potentially, bad news.

(1) THE GOOD NEWS. He had eventually managed to inspect the roof.

(2) THE NOT SO GOOD NEWS. We have 1 missing roof tile, 6 broken roof tiles and several missing ridge tiles.

(3) THE POTENTIALLY BAD NEWS. We seem to have a wasps nest under the boards just outside our bedroom window which could result in them having to be taken down and then, with wasps hopefully gone, replaced. Needless to say I will be calling pest control first thing tomorrow morning.

I wouldn't mind as much but, as I said, we had a similar problem last year which Hubby, thankfully, dealt with as it didn't involve dismantling anything (merely filling in the hole they were getting in after the use of some chemical or other). Not normally afraid of such things, I leave that to my (naughty) little sister and her two children, I did, however, draw the line when I awoke to find one of the 'little darlings' crawling in my hair.

Acclaimed author Keith Waterhouse dies, aged 80.

Acclaimed author, journalist and playwright Keith Waterhouse died "quietly in his sleep" yesterday, a family spokeswoman said last night.

Waterhouse, whose works include Billy Liar and Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell, was at his home in London when he passed away. He was 80.

Waterhouse's spokeswoman said he had "not been very well" recently, but did not give the nature of his illness.

The revered writer came from humble beginnings, as a school boy in Leeds, and rose to see his name in lights.

After school he became a clerk in an undertaker's office, which provided inspiration for his books and play Billy Liar, the story of a day dreamer planning his escape from an undertaker,s job.

Following National Service in the Royal Air Force, Waterhouse achieved his ambition to be a reporter on the Yorkshire Evening Post and landed his first Fleet Street job on the Daily Mirror in 1951.

He would also often draft articles and speeches for Labour Leaders Hugh Gaitskell and Harold Wilson.

A newspaper strike in 1956 gave him time to pen his first novel There Is A Happy Land, set
on a Leeds Estate.

He left 10,000 words of Billy Liar in a taxi and had to start again, but said losing the "pretentious twaddle" was the best thing to happen to him.

Daily Mail editor, Paul Dacre, said last night: "Keith was a genius, for whom the phrase 'Fleet Street legend' could have been invented. A consummate journalist, scintillating satirist and unrivalled chronicler of modern life and so much more".

Source: The Journal.

Charlie Bucket's Cardiologist says.......

Having just reviewed both Charlie And The Chocolate Factory as well as Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator - I was pleased to find this amusing piece on Charlie Bucket and his cardiologist over at Satisfaction For Insatiable Readers.

Confessions of a BB fan.

I have to confess that I'm a big BIG BROTHER fan, not a huge fan but a big enough one - big enough to be gutted by the announcement that next year will be the 11th and final series on Channel 4.

I've watched every single series, to varying degrees, over the last ten years - some years the housemates have been too weird (by most people's standards) and then there was the year which was deadly boring but I can honestly say, to my shame, that I can name all 9 winners.

So, who do I want to win this year? It has to be Charlie, the lovable Geordie who comes from my neck of the woods.

I'm away to watch now but will, of course, report back on just who has won BB 2009.

Well! That's that then, the first instalment of tonight's BB is over and Charlie hasn't won. First out, in 5th place, was Rodrigo, followed by Charlie in 4th place and David (my next choice to win) in 3rd place which leaves Sophie and Siavash still in the house so watch this space.

After 13 weeks that's it - BB is over for another year and Sophie has been declared winner with Siavash, wearing a costume BB challenged him to wear, coming second.

PETTYWITTER ASKS: Do you have/watch Big Brother and, if so, do you love it or loathe it?

Should Have Been Called 'Lucky'.

In Scotland, a goldfish flushed down a loo has turned up alive at a sewerage farm. Water treatment worker Jake Huey, who spotted the fish swimming around, is now looking for a new home for his fishy friend, who he has named Pooh.

Writers Gather For Fair.

A literary fair is set to be held on Tyneside for the first time.

Combining a book fair, author and poetry readings, writing workshops and local theatre performances, the North Tyneside Literary Festival will take place in Whitley Bay on October 17th.

Some 15 northern publishers will attend, bringing their best-selling authors to sign copies of their latest books.

Local writers, including Kitty Fitzgerald and Carol Clewlow, will also be on hand to read from their most recent work.

The free festival takes place on Saturday October 17th at St. Paul's Church, Whitley Bay, from 10a.m until 5.30p.m.

For further information, e-mail Linda MacFadyen at events@culturequarter.org.

Source: Evening Chronicle.

Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator.

Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator By Roald Dahl.

Charlie had won! Willy Wonka's famous chocolate factory was his now, and his parents Mr and Mrs Bucket , his three bed-ridden grandparents and sprightly Grandfather Joe were on their way to take over the factory. Rich and joyful , they were travelling in yet another of
Willy Wonka's marvels, the Great Glass Lift - or Elevator, as he preferred to call it.

But all was not going quite according to plan, for the Elevator had left the building and was zooming higher and higher into the sky. The grandparents were getting nervous, and Willy Wonka himself was obviously not very happy about things. Zoom, zoom went the Elevator, faster and faster, higher and higher, until it gave a ghastly groan, turned over, and left them bubbling like balloons inside it.

"Did we go too far?" enquired Charlie, to break the eerie silence. "Too far?" cried Mr Wonka. "Of course we went too far. You know where we've gone, my friends? We've gone into orbit!"

They weren't the only ones. Near by was a spacecraft with three all-American astronauts and the staff of a luxury hotel aboard, and also in orbit a terrifying and intelligent breed of space monsters, the Vermicious Knids, which didn't think much of these human invaders ... What was Charlie to do to put things right?

.... from the inner page.

First Sentence: The last time we saw Charlie, he was riding high above his home town in the Great Glass Lift.

How had I failed to read this Roald Dahl novel when Charlie And The Chocolate Factory was, and still is, such a firm favourite of mine?

Though still with a moral to it, CHARLIE AND THE GREAT GLASS ELEVATOR is, in my opinion, far darker, much less witty and a far less enjoyable read then many other Roald Dahl books and, definitely less so than Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. In fact, I'm doubtful it would have even been published in this day and age due to the fact that the author seems to delight in poking fun at the accents of the Chinese Community.

It is however, readable and I'm sure will still appeal to youngsters who will, of course, delight in the silly rhymes, jokes and made-up words - not to mention the thought of their grand-parents taking 'Wonka-Vite'.

MY RATING: 2 out of a possible 5.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory By Roald Dahl.

A whole day at Willy Wonka's chocolate Factory! Charlie Bucket can't believe his luck when he finds a Golden Ticket and wins the chance of a lifetime: a magical day witnessing the miraculous creation of the most sensational, scrumptious, irresistable eatables in the world.

.... from the back cover.

First Sentence: "These two very old people are the father and mother of Mr Bucket."

As it's nearing Roald Dahl's birthday, I thought I'd re-read one of my favourite childhood books again.

As always, CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY made me laugh out loud with it's wonderfully humorous characters and plot. As a child I was always terrified of the squirrels in the nut room but loved the oompa loompas and now, as then, my favourite part of the whole book is the chapter 'Square Sweets That Look Round' - after all who could fail to laugh at "There you are!" he cried triumphantly. "They're looking round! They are square sweets that look round"? Absolutely brilliant.

My Rating: 4 out of a possible 5

The Resurrectionist.

The Resurrectionist By James Bradley.

Leaving behind his father's tragic failures, Gabriel Swift arrives in London in 1826 to study with Edwin Poll, the great anatomist. But he finds himself drawn to his master's Nemesis, Lucan, the most powerful of the city's resurrectionists and governor of its trade in stolen bodies. Dismissed by Poll, Gabriel is pulled into the sinister and mysterious underworld of Georgian London - and must make a journey that will change his life forever.

.... from the back cover.

First Sentence: "In their sacks they ride as in their mother's womb; knee to chest, head pressed down, as if ready to die is merely to return to the flesh from which we were born, and this is a second conception."

The first section of the book set in London between 1826 and 1827, is atmospheric and quite 'moody' though very gruesome - this is not a novel I would recommend for those faint of heart as it is very descriptive in it's scenes of autopsies, a 'bloody' event and especially in the Georgian period in which THE RESSURECTIONIST is set.

The characters are well written and often sinister whilst quite vulnerable at the same time whilst the plot is obviously well researched - so much so that at times one almost feels themselves there in the autopsy room or opium dens.

However, the book as a whole is let down by the second section which is set in New South Wales some ten years later. The problem being, it is not really clear how or, indeed, why Gabriel came
to be there until much later on in the section (and even then it is not totally clear) which leads to some confusion.

It, in fact, feels as if the author didn't know quite how to end the book and so decided to carry on when, in my opinion, he should have finished at the end of section one instead of carrying on until New South Wales which adds nothing whatsoever to the story. That said, it is well worth reading - if you can stomach it.

MY RATING: 3 out of a possible 5.